Grieving Into Oblivion

The bridesmaids were huddled together outside trying to keep warm in the October chill. The photographer directed them around and they smiled and doted over the bride and groom. Once back to the reception hall the wedding party took their seats at the front table. The food was served and the toasts were made. Tears were shed by nearly everyone in the room, but there was one bridesmaid who was crying for an entirely different reason.

She knew her heart was breaking, but she stood with her bride and focused all of her attention on making sure her day was everything she had dreamed and more. And when no one was looking she would sneak to the bathroom to cry and let her heart spill onto the floor. She would allow herself a few moments to let the tears flow freely before forcing herself off the floor and checking her makeup. She would force her eyebrows to relax, her eyes to shine, and her mouth to smile. She would check her face in the mirror and take a deep breath before heading back out. She tried to walk through the knot in her stomach and breathe through the squeezing in her chest. She ordered a drink and danced as best she could with the other members of the wedding party.

When a respectable time to sneak back to the hotel for sleep came she said her heartfelt goodbyes and well wishes and near stumbled to her car before the overwhelming wave of sadness hit her once more. She broke at that moment, in the driver’s seat of her car, in consuming darkness. Her organs felt like they were melting together and she lost the ability to breathe. She thought she was going to die, but somehow she pulled herself together enough to get back to the hotel and try to deal with the heartache. She paced and the walls closed in on her, but soon enough, painful hour after painful hour, the sun came up. She got in her car and she drove as far as she could.

As she drove, she sobbed. As she sobbed, her heart continued to shatter. She looked down to find she was still wearing the bridesmaid dress, but it was covered in blood. There was a gaping hole where her heart should be. She kept driving through the pain and all the thoughts that kept running through her mind. Her vision blurred through the tears. She drove too fast and couldn’t see an end. The blood pooled.

Grief is all consuming, and it took piece after piece of her soul until she was lost on that road, a victim to oblivion.