Goodbye My Love

by Ash Vazquez 2 years ago in lgbtq

To the Man that I Love

Goodbye My Love

Your caresses, your smile, I miss it all. The sweet words you use to whisper in my ear. The gifts you'd give me on Valentine's day. It's all I remember about you. I once heard that when it comes to a breakup you have to try to remember the good times. Keep the good memories in your mind. And that is what I am trying to do but it isn't helping me. Every time I see your face in my dreams I can't help but cry.

I truly loved you. I did. I don't know why it all came to this. No. I do know why. It was all because of who we were. We weren't who we were supposed to be. Our love was wrong in people's eyes. After all who ever heard of a man loving another man. But it didn't matter to me. I loved you, I wanted you but I was being selfish.

You had a girlfriend already and yet here we were being with each other. Caressing and kissing. I knew that what we were doing was wrong. You were being unfaithful and I was the one who caused that. It all seemed so easy at first.

We thought we had it all. That we could run away. Oh, how I miss those innocent days. Those days which we had it all. But I had to let you go. What we were doing wasn't right. Your girlfriend didn't deserve being cheated on. She didn't deserve being lied to and so we vowed to just be friends.

But being just friends was hard. At every twist and turn it seemed that our eyes would always meet. I couldn't forget the taste of your lips or the way your body felt on top of me. I tried everything to be who I use to be. I started to go out with a girl. She was sweet and cute but she couldn't compare to you. No one can compare to you. You came in my life just to turn it upside down it seems.

We didn't belong to each other and yet we couldn't help but feel like we owned one another. Various times I would remind you that we weren't together. That we couldn't be together and that what were doing was just plain wrong. But no matter what I said we always returned to the same game. The game in which I couldn't stop playing. I knew that what I was doing was wrong but I couldn't help but like it when you'd kiss my lips. My heart only belonged to you. Something I could never admit because then it would make our situation worth. I told you many times to leave but hoped you would stay.

I can't say that I hate you for finally leaving, after all, it was the right thing to do. You belonged to your girlfriend of three years, not to me. What we had was just a fling, is what I will say if you ever ask me what it is that I felt for you. I will never admit that what I felt towards you was love because then it would make our separation even more pitiful. Maybe if we met at a different time then maybe just maybe what we had wouldn't have been wrong. But we met at the wrong time. Met when you were taken. Sorry for all the pain that I caused. I know that you loved me but I could not bear to be the other person, the mistress, the affair. I couldn't do it no matter how many times I wished myself to be selfish towards you. I wanted to claim you as mine, only mine, but you are her's. She came first and I am just the person who came in between you two. So goodbye my love. I must forget you and everything we had.

Ash Vazquez
Ash Vazquez
Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Ash Vazquez

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