Getting Out of an Abusive Relationship
From small demeaning remarks to full fledged abuse... you can be free from it.
These relationships do not define you. You deserve the love and care you give your abusive lover. You do NOT deserve to be talked down to, hurt physically/mentally, or to feel horrible for being yourself. You deserve to be free, to love yourself. And you can do it.
I may not know you personally, but I have been in many abusive relationships in the past, and I know you can get away from it. You may say, "Well, we still have good moments, even if there is some bad moments. Every relationship can't be perfect." I have heard this time and time again from myself, and others who have been abused and don't want to leave the comfort of their lover. Every relationship may not be perfect, but a healthy/loving relationship does NOT involve any of these things:
- Being ignored more often than not.
- Being talked down to; like a dog or an "idiot."
- Being forced to do things you don't want to do.
- Being shunned for things that make you happy.
- PHYSICAL/MENTAL ABUSE!
The list goes on and on, because abuse comes in so many forms depending on the person. Just because there are some good moments, does not mean it's a good relationship. That is a saying I will take to the grave with me. Just because they make you happy sometimes, doesn't mean they are worthy of your happiness forever, given they still take it away from you more often that not.
Getting away is the hardest part. You feel like you'll be nothing without them. Some people grow so comfortable in the abuse that they feel they deserve it, or won't feel the same without it. You grow so close to your abuser, that it just doesn't feel okay to leave. You will be 100 percent okay without the abuse, and you will be BETTER without it. I can promise that to you. Once you get away, and you heal from it, you will feel like a whole different person.
The first steps to take are:
- Talk to someone close to you about it. See what they think of it.
- Reach out to support groups. There are so many out there.
- Seek professional help, if you can afford it.
- Take time to think on it, plan it out, and escape.
- Realize that the only person who can get you out is yourself.
That last one is important. I always thought someone else would just steal me away, until I realized I turned down every opportunity to get away without thinking about it. Only you can get away from them. You have to find the strength to do it. And I know you can.
It will be a long nasty process, but sometimes people get lucky, and it happens quickly. For me, all of mine were long and hard to handle, depending on how they react. I was trapped, and truly couldn't get out for long time. Some people will threaten to hurt you, or your loved ones, if you leave. I have had a few threaten to hurt themselves if I left. PLEASE realize they will not. It is a tactic to keep you to stay with them. All of my abusive exes are still alive and happy with what they do, even after threatening to hurt themselves. Do not fear for your safety or their own, because most people will just lie to you to keep you around. Always seek out help from police if they do try to hurt you or others.
Now, get the hell out of there, give yourself time to heal, and learn to love yourself again. You are a gift to your family and friend's lives, and they would never want you to be drug down by an abusive lover. You have the power to make yourself happy again. We all believe in you.
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