Gender Swap

The 21st century is replete with gender identity questions. It is a time of liberation and subjugation. A time in history when we ask questions of ourselves in order to find our true place in this life. Is it in the body for which we are born or through a life that we create on our own?

No longer are we forced to live in a box, defined by society, we are free to explore outside of the confines of what we have been created with.

We are born with a level playing field laid out in front of us, free to choose which direction to move in and whilst I was born a man, I am performing many of the relationship roles that my wife would be typically associated with. I associate my gender to be that of the male but freely admit that in my marriage I am more of the matriarch whilst my wife is the patriarch.

The Question of Gender

Until I met my wife I had never truly considered the role of gender. It was something for which I was born rather than had the opportunity to choose and whilst I am happy in my assigned skin, many are not.

Many are assigned a gender at birth for which they grow to despise and identify as something different. According to the Gender Identity guide, there are fifteen that people currently associate themselves with in 2022.

I have always been a man but am guilty of having many feminine traits (well organised, tidy and can have a tendency to take things to heart). Personality traits that whilst not being something to complain about are typically associated with women.

Whether right or wrong, women have been considered the more sensitive but that was until the 21st century. Once we arrived in the new millennium things began to collapse and I met my wife.

My wife is the polar opposite of me with regard to traits. She is the typical man as she leaves all of her clothes around the house, has no interest in planning or looking after bills, and is more interested in what is in front of her than what is ahead. This is something that I envy owing to the consideration that I am always wondering what is next.

Does it Matter?

No. Of course it doesn't matter and quite frankly it is freeing to have such a blank slate to push against. We are all free to be whoever we want to be and whilst being with my wife has brought out certain traits that aren't considered the manliest, they are welcome and all they really do is re-enforce the position that opposites attract. It matters not if the opposites are based on stereotypes, it matters that we are able to find each other and connect.

I care not whether someone is male, female, gender neutral or non-binary. What I care about is who you are underneath all of those terms.

• Are you the type of person who will think of others first?
• Are you the type of person who takes the ideas of others and claims them as their own?
• Are you the type of person who will pick someone up who has fallen or are you the type of human that uses others?

This is what matters at the end of the day.

It is something that is worth thinking about as gender is something that we are born with. It can be used against people and when people identify with something that we do not agree with, we can lash out, which is wrong on every level imaginable. Control and dominance over others should be thought of in the past and not a daily fear for many. It should be defined as history and nothing more.

My Wife

I love my wife more than anything else in this world. It matters not that she farts often and has no interest in cleaning up after herself, it matters that she is a kind and caring human being who makes me better and this is what we are all searching for. Not someone who demeans us or ignores us.

We are searching for our equal. Someone who can bring out the best in us and accept us when we are at our absolute worst. We are looking for that person to be our soul mate and I feel lucky to be able to say that I have found mine.

My wife is the one not because she is a woman but because she is an amazing human. Someone who I can share with my friends and family. Someone who even though she can shout my ear off is a part of my life and by that extension, my family. She is the one and the only one for me that improves on everything that I am and with all of this in mind she is a woman who does not conform to gender stereotypes.

A Final Thought

I often say that my wife is the stereotypical man in my life as she leaves all her clothes around the house for me to pick up. She refuses to help with the house admin and has a fart that could paralyse a cat. She is the one who lights the candle and starts the fires. She is the one and I could not be happier.

My wife is the one who drives me to my destination and helps me ride a bike. She is the one who picks me up when I am sad. She is the first face I see in the morning and the last before I head to sleep. She is my soul mate and I could care less that she is a woman. What matters most to me is that she is a decent person and someone who I could not live without.

I love my wife more than life itself and today, like all days I will raise a glass to her as she is a teacher. I appreciate her today, tomorrow and for every remaining day that I have left on this earth. Regardless of her gender, she is the most amazing woman in the world whom I love more than anything else.