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Gender and Need

by Ilyssa Monroe 6 months ago in marriage
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The rambling of a married woman

Gender and Need
Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

First, let me start by explaining that I have never said, nor will I ever say that women can do anything and everything that a man can, and vice versa. Men and women are created equally impressive, each in their own right.

Let’s take men as our first example. On average, men are physically stronger than women. That does NOT mean that all men are physically stronger than all women. I am sure that Rebecca Roberts, 2021’s World’s Strongest Woman could lift more weight than a lot of men I know, and I know some big guys.

Now, let’s look at the opposite end of the spectrum. Women, with the exception of those medically unable, can give birth. Yes, this is a sensitive subject, but the fact is ONLY naturally born women can give birth to a child without recourse to medical intervention. For this example, however, it is not the act of giving birth but the misconception that because women give birth to children that somehow all women are more nurturing than men. This is also far from the truth. There are many stories that have been on the news of women neglecting, abusing, and killing their own children and I personally know men who are much more nurturing to their children than the child's own mother.

Deep stuff, right? Let’s get on to the reason for this story.

Speaking as a woman who was born at the beginning of the Millennial generation, I was raised that women are just as competent as men. My mother was an entrepreneur, starting and running several businesses, and my father was a example of a man who began working at a phosphate company at the age of 18 and still works there though he worked his way to the position of a train engineer. However, just because my mother worked did not mean that she did not perform traditional activities that women have always done. She cooked, cleaned, and was very active in our schooling. My father too performed traditional men’s activities such as being the breadwinner and working a physically demanding job to support his family but he was also very attentive to his daughters.

It is a GOOD thing for each gender to understand the other and it is also a GOOD thing to leave at least a few of the traditional gender-specific activities to their respective genders. I am not saying that women should not learn how to fix their vehicles although mechanic work is traditionally men’s work. I learned how to get my Tahoe’s starter to work again this morning and boy, did I feel proud of myself. Nor am I saying that men shouldn’t be allowed to be other than the disciplinary figure in the household. I know that I’ve heard “Wait until your father gets home” many a time in my life.

There is nothing wrong with a man feeling good about being a man, or a woman feeling good about being a woman. Humans need to be needed. We are a social species. We need to be needed by others. When we say things to each other like “I don’t need you, I can do that for myself” it breeds emotions of self-doubt and self-worthlessness. I’ve never felt good about myself when someone has told me that I was unneeded. Have you?

Leaving some gender-specific activities to their respective genders would allow us all to feel like we ARE needed. It makes me feel good to be able to cook a nice dinner for my family although I know my husband can cook as well, if not better than I do. I also know that my husband feels good about himself when he can pick up a piece of furniture to help me out. I love that I need my husband and that he needs me. We could survive apart but we are better together because we recognize the need we have for each other.

Ramble over.


About the author

Ilyssa Monroe

Married, mother of 8, Student of IT/Cybersecurity, and aspiring author in the realms of Fantasy and SCI-FI. Enjoy!

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