It's crazy really - how even when you are so adamant that you are living your best life, you are completely blindsided by the fact that you're, in reality, doing it vicariously through somebody else.
For the last five months, I've believed that I was fulfilling my dreams and I was doing so for me, but tonight something happened, closure, as such, and it has brought an entirely new perspective to my way of living and my idealisation of the concept of love. It is engrained in us from a young age that love stems from desire, mainly a desire for another person - but what is fundamentally important to remember is that this love can relate to anything, a situation, a place, an art form - it is an exponential concept and not entirely sustained by the thought and admiration of one person.
The People You Surround Yourself With
Love in the most romantic sense is all-consuming, but it is a sad fact of life that frequently this sort of love fades - it displaces itself and as a result those that have felt the loss of such love feel displaced also. For me, love is more than just a romantic connection - love is far more important in your life when it is embedded between you and those you surround yourself with. My family and my friends offer me a form of love, of which I return, that is completely irreplaceable - a love that far surpasses that that any man could give to me, or that I could give to any man.
The Things You Do
Love can be found everywhere - in the places you visit, the people you meet, the books you read, the music you listen to - even in the dreams you conjure up in your mind at night. Love is not dependent on a person and it certainly does not define a person either. For me, my love is foregrounded in this very moment right here - writing as a form of therapy, externalising my emotions in a way that I never quite found possible before.
Find love in situations, no matter how spontaneous and crazy they may seem at the time. It's an unfortunate fact that too frequently we are caught in a cycle in life - we go to work and we live for the weekends, repeat repeat repeat. Do more of what makes you happy and stop simply participating in this cyclical pattern - break the cycle and free yourself.
People become entirely fixated on the concept of love, so much so that little fragments of their soul are lost in this search for their 'soulmate.' Your soulmate has always been and will always be yourself. Accept yourself. Heal your wounds. Attempt things you never thought could be possible. If only we spent as much time fighting for a love for ourselves as we did other people we would function in a completely different manner. That is a love worth fighting for. A fight for happiness within yourself and for yourself.
Rumi, a 13th Century Persian Poet, once wrote:
"Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it."
It is in loving oneself that you can truly embrace life and then, maybe - you might find yourself intertwining with another soul in ways you never dreamed possible.