A Letter to the Girl Who's Just Fine on Her Own
For some people, being single is the worst thing you can be. You're supposed to want to settle down, have kids, and do the whole white picket fence thing. And for many of us ladies, it almost feels like there's a schedule by which we're supposed to do it all. Our biological clocks are ticking and every passing moment that we spend alone is another moment we're going against nature, and don’t think for a moment that you won’t be reminded of it... tick tock.
But for some of us, that's just not our plan. Sure, if we find someone that fits with all the other things we want in life, there's no reason why we couldn't settle down. It's just not our main goal in life, as most people would have you believe. Some of us want to travel, see the world and be rich with experience. Some of us have dreams of a successful career, owning our own businesses, and shattering the glass ceiling. Or maybe we just want to lay in bed, eat cookie dough and binge watch Netflix. We just want to live our lives being unapologetically us.
We just want to do our thing. Not on anybody's watch or under anybody else's thumb. We've gotten so good at taking care of ourselves, and maybe that's just the way we like it. Just because we're "alone," it doesn't mean we're lonely. We just know what works for us.
Now that's not to say that there is anything wrong with the women who dream of saying "I Do", who want a big house and wear a baby Bjorn to Target. We just took different paths in life, and that's okay. I have many friends who married young, and who spend their Friday nights changing diapers and singing lullabies, and I will support them just the same as my friends who spend every Friday night at the bar. We must start lifting each other up, instead of condemning other women for not living their lives the way we think they should. There’s no timeline we’re supposed to follow, no magic handbook on being a woman. Trust me, if there were, life would be a whole lot easier.
Just promise me that you’ll keep one thing in mind: “Empowered women, empower women.” The world is already a difficult place to navigate, and even more so when you’re a young woman. Let’s start a trend of support. So, next time you see the single girl at a party, or when the single girl doesn't want to go to your party, just let it be. We're all following our own paths, and the women of the 21st century may not be taking the same path that your mom, or your grandma took. My path is paved in things that make my soul happy. It's paved in polaroid snap shots of me and my friends, it's paved in movie stubs, and empty bottles of wine after girls’ night. Maybe settling down isn't a stop on my path, at least not at twenty-five. But, I'm perfectly okay with that. Just because my reality doesn’t look the same as yours, there’s no reason to tear me down or feel that I’m doing it wrong. There is no right or wrong here, we’re all just winging it. Don't pity me, or the many women like me, just raise your glass and wish us the best. Ladies: if you’re single or married, a mother or not, homebody or wild child, this one's for you. Follow your path, wherever it may lead you, and remember that it's okay to walk alone.