Five Types of Untrustworthy People

Well well well… if it isn’t my tinder dates from Christmas past. My ‘look what the cat dragged in’ old high-school mates, and my Toxic Bosses from ‘you’ll never be good enough for a promotion’ lane…

In a game of bingo, how many of these toxic types would you find on your score sheet? I’m hoping your answer is none, but I wouldn’t be surprised if some of these slippery salmons have slithered their way into your DM’s, friend circle, or workplace, with you being none-the-wiser.

They are the wolves in sheep's clothing, after all — the expert manipulators who hide amongst us, masking their nefarious intentions through slights of hands and dazzling smoke shows.

Let’s unpack their bag of tricks

The Devils Advocate

Let’s dissect the name… Devils. Advocate. Need I say more?

The role of the Devil’s Advocate (at least, in my experience) is almost always reserved for people who are about to say something offensive. Think about the kind of beliefs or arguments you hear after someone utters those telling words. “Just playing the devil’s advocate, but…”

“… maybe we should all be respectful and kind to one another-”

Wait, no. Wrong script.

“…maybe women are just evolutionarily predisposed to be subservient…”

Ah! That’s the one! How intellectual and evocative of you, Mr. Private School!

How they appear: Intellectual, evocative

The reality: They are no more intellectual than their counterparts. In fact, they just don’t have the guts to stand behind their colorful opinions.

The ‘Nicest Person You’ll Ever Meet’

If someone needs to convince you that they possess a certain quality — be that ‘niceness’, charm, or a particular talent, it’s likely that they don’t possess that quality at all.

For example, as a collective culture (at least in my neck of the woods) we have recognized that the self-proclaimed ‘nice guy’ is anything but. He is not a ‘nice guy’ — he is a guy who occasionally does nice things, and then expects to be rewarded for it (same man, same…)

Consider also the ‘empath’ who is always telling you how much she cares (“I just feel too much”) but when you reach out to her in a time of need she’d rather loudly proclaim “Oh! How the empathy pains me!” than lend a helping hand.

People who truly possess desirable qualities have no need to advertise them, so next time you meet someone who toots their horn a little too loud, it’s time to turn on the hazard lights.

The ‘Over Woke’

When I landed a new job in 2021 one of the first things my new boss said to me was “you’re going to love it here. I really love the customer base, especially the ethnic community”

…

I’m not sure what his penchant towards ‘the ethnic community’ had to do with the job or even the location, but I had learned in the past to never trust a person who wears their wokeness on their sleeve… you’d be better off assuming it’s one of their (many) tricks.

With each empty platitude, my trust in the man rapidly depleted…

“I really love the ethnic community here…” drip.

“I would never assume anyone’s gender…” drop.

“I just think women are the fairer sex…” splat.

People who truly care about social issues don’t feel the need to pepper empty platitudes into every conversation— they share their political beliefs when it is genuinely needed… not when they’re looking to gain brownie points from a new employee or possible love interest (I'm looking at you, pickup artists!).

The ‘I feel like we’ve known each other for…’

While not always malignant, this type of person should be held at arm's length regardless of their intentions.

It’s a common phrase used by pickup artists and narcissists. Pickup artists will try to create a false sense of familiarity with their ‘love’ interest, so as to make their target feel safer in their presence (and thus, more likely to uh… get familiar).

Conversely, a narcissist subconsciously mirrors people who they are interested in emulating; this firing of mirror neurons can create a false sense of familiarity in the narcissist and their target, giving the idea that the two are ‘soul-mates’.

How they appear: Your soul-mate; the person you’ve been waiting for

The reality: They‘re creating a false sense of familiarity to secure your love, prematurely.

The Perpetual Victim

The perpetual victim is someone who is always facing a new struggle, and who constantly laments the unfairness of life.

Now don’t get me wrong — I’m not referring to people who have happened upon hard times and simply need a shoulder to cry on. The perpetual victim is much more insidious than that; they find themselves conveniently stumbling over hard-times left right and center, and even manage to pull hard times out of thin air *queue the applause!*.

At first, the perpetual victim might present as someone who has been wronged and needs your sympathy; but if a sympathy-seeking pattern begins to emerge, and you notice that this person is drawing strains of victimhood from every scenario, then you best believe that they are after more than simply a shoulder to cry on…

They’re after domination.

A perpetual victim uses their victimization to prime you for and against certain behaviors. From early on, they’re teaching you that any slight against them might become fodder in their victim narrative, and you might become their next favorite villain.

Originally published on Medium