Falling in Love...

There are some things we can't explain..Love is one of them. There is more to just how I feel but I am afraid to say anything. It's easier to pretend it is just a chemistry based on the things I want you to do to my body. That would be simple for most people..but not me.

What started as simple conversation, then simply thoughts of passion unfolding that haven't been a part of my life became me wondering what it would be like to be yours. It happened not because I wanted it to, it just did. This fuzzy feeling whenever you text me, missing you when you can't, wanting to hear your voice, be a part of all of your life.

It happened once before, but he let my life be destroyed when I trusted him with my life. It was so easy with him, not a fight or anything else. Then everything fell apart without explanation. Everyone envied us, how we loved each other. Letting him go was something I never have done until I had to.

Trusting anyone again is this struggle.. between what I know could happen or maybe it could be something different. Not just because of him, but to trust someone after the man who he let hurt me so badly.

With you it is so simple, so easy like it should be. I try to avoid it, it's easier not to get attached because the last time I wasn't and he still hasn't let go. You simply make me smile, make me want to have long conversations over coffee about our worlds. When the tears fall it is you I want to wipe them away, to hold me back together. You that could make me keep trying. I want to fix everything she broke in you, to remind you what happy feels like, what could be. To be your safe place, and you mine. It's not complicated just scary because it means letting someone in, letting someone see the scars that no one else sees. To fall asleep with you next to me, to hear your heart beat, to see behind the wall that you try to put between us.

As little sense as it makes, as little sense as anything has made in a long time, you make sense to me. You are the normal I always had, and have craved for so long.

On the bad days like today I want you more ..Your strength where I am weak. I want to fall into your arms and bury my face in your shoulder. Hiding from everything that wants to hurt me. To feel you wrapped around me like a protective barrier against the dragons. Safe in our castle, knowing you are home.

I will never tell you though. I will never tell you until I am sure it is something you want to hear, there has been too much heart break, too much pain to add another piece to it. You are my end game. My love story, what cures everything that has hurt me. You are home..The safe place where the world can't touch, where I dream of every night. You are the King who get the Queen. Who rights what he broke. A home full all the things that were taken, the place where there are no battles to be fought but only a happy space full of what is good- of lust and love. A place that the outside world can not touch. A place of warmth and peace, of fixing what the world tried to break inside each of us and that can only be built by us.