Humans logo

Failing Fast.

It's inevitable, so just get it over with.

By Tiana ProctorPublished 4 years ago 4 min read
Like
Failing Fast.
Photo by United Nations COVID-19 Response on Unsplash

“You’re going to fail, so just do it fast” my go to thought when attempting anything new.

As a small but very flexible child, my parents naturally put me into gymnastics and cheerleading, and if you know anything about these sports than you know they’re not as easy or pretty as it seems.

I never had much fear of physical harm which made me perfect for the sport. Forcing your body to hurdle over an immobile object, doing flips on a beam with the chance of falling and dislocating, well everything, to throwing your body into tricks that only a handful of trained athletes can do. If there was a sport to fail fast at, it was this one. The quicker you got over your fear and did it, the closer you were to sticking it.

Looking back, my lack of physical fear, was overcompensated by my mental fears. I always feared being the center of attention, which in my mind translated to be the center of criticism.

I saw how it got to people’s heads and manipulated their actions.

Which my parents would probably disagree with, because of my ‘not so great choices’ in high school, but that’s for another post.

Nonetheless at an early age I knew that I would always be a guarded person. I would always be the person who could count their close friends on one hand. There was something about the power of having people wonder and assume, but never quite know.

Through this I also saw myself become overly modest about any type of talent I had. Even though I knew I was smart, the whole world did not need to know. Even though I knew I could put words together in a way that could touch a mass of people, the whole world did not need to know.

I shared these things with only the people I was closest with. People who saw every side of me and still didn’t judge.

“LOOKING BACK, MY LACK OF PHYSICAL FEAR, WAS OVERCOMPENSATED BY MY MENTAL FEARS.”

At the beginning of the year I made a promise to myself that modesty would be a friend of the past, and I would face all my ‘fears’ head on.

They say if you want to make God laugh, just tell him your plans.

As I began to make plans about facing my fears, life came in the way and in fact did it for me. I soon began facing a few of my fears: standing alone for what I believed in and shortly after losing a friend.

***

Tristan Dillon. A soul I am so blessed to have known while I could. Someone who started out as just a cousin of my best friend, quickly became a close friend of mine. A piece of advice he gave me before his untimely passing, “Don’t let people that aren’t worthy of you bring you down, keep smiling”. If it was one thing, I never saw Tristan without, it was indeed a smile. He always jokingly reminded me how small my problems actually were and that there was so much more to actually be happy for.

The memories we all shared together will forever be cherished.

***

I hate that I had fallen into the “life is too short” cliché, but it was true. This life was entirely too short for Tristan and the gifts he possessed. I knew that I would be doing a disservice to not live everyday like it was my last one.

This life is too short to not share any gift you are blessed with. There are 7 billion people in the world, and if you can make a difference with just one person, that’s a blessing within itself.

I say that to say this, no one ever gets it right on the first try. The only opposite of success, is quitting. Or even worse, never starting. If ever you were looking for a sign to start whatever it is you have been thinking of, just start it now.

You’re going to fail, but you’re going to be better because of it. You’re going to get discouraged, but it’s not the end. You’re going to get stuck, but you don’t have to stay there.

So to hell with fear. If you’re going to fail, just do it fast.

advice
Like

About the Creator

Tiana Proctor

The modern day Carrie Bradshaw if you will. I write about my life and my experiences with love, friendship, and life after college.

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.