Expectations

Tonight, it dawned on me that the problem with today’s society is that we seem to judge first and ask questions later; we form opinions based on superficial grounds, solely on our own experiences and perceptions. We have all been guilty of this at one time or another, and those same snap judgements can be found peppered throughout our history and culture.

We seem to form opinions about movies or characters, deciding whether we love or hate them. We do this to our neighbours, and sadly—and more dangerously—we do this to ourselves. This is the very problem with our society today. The dichotomy of our species has led to wars, famine, and genocide as we clamour for understanding. But I realize that it's not that we want to understand, but instead, we want to feel comfortable in what we are ready to understand.

We try to label these moments in time as pieces to a puzzle that can be categorized and connected together to form one complete picture. We want everything to fit inside its "place" where we have decided it will be safe; life is messy and the complete picture isn’t a flat piece of parchment like we think, showing only our people and our future, but instead, an interwoven tapestry that bends and twists in on itself, interconnecting with other views of the big picture.

We cannot hold a single perfect future for ourselves like a plane of glass in our hands without realizing that we need to support the surrounding pieces of that interwoven tapestry. Without taking into consideration the multidimensional view, you can never truly understand yourself, your journey, or another's struggles. This struggle, while different for every individual, can be seen time and time again in the struggle of our family, friends, and colleagues who surround our big picture. It is more than just a single song, but instead a crescendo, for it is the struggle of all of us, all of humankind.

We are not so different from each other, but are more alike than we care to admit. We place each other in boxes to satisfy some expectation over another, but at the root of it all, we are all so afraid of what we cannot expect. This fear follows us, each generation making the mistake by failing to fully learn from the mistakes of our forebearers. We create these separations between us. We allow ourselves to be displaced from each other using religion, sex, creed, thought, orientation, and borders. We tell ourselves that we are separate from the whole, and we are safe in our own little worlds, but what we have is a fractured whole. We have allowed ourselves to become a shattered people—each of us cut to pieces by the shards.

Humankind's duality is what is wrong with our world today. We fight every day against different parts of ourselves. Individually, we fight to find balance against the little voice that tells us to quit, and the one that helps us continue forward. We fight against our own base impulses, trying desperately to feel comfortable with who we are—so afraid of our neighbours and society, afraid of being judged and categorized into someone else's expectation of who they think we are.

This duality makes us feel comfortable, as we are so afraid of being a nameless voice in the crowd, so we choose a side to stand out and be heard. This duality is in everything; it seeps out of every aspect of society from our elections where we choose from two sides of the same coin, to our movies that highlight the battle of sister vs. sister, brother vs. brother.

We need to let go of this fear and come together to choose what is right for the world, to not clamour over who was the popular vote or broken promises that have been left unfulfilled. It can no longer be what is best for my team, my side, my religion, my party, or my people. If we are to survive—and even thrive—we need to remember that it's not your people or my people, but we are all one people. When we create sides, we create winners and losers, and when you allow one group's rights to be diminished, you make it that much easier for yours to one day be lost as well. We can no longer afford, as a species, to fight this never-ending civil war that has claimed too many good people over nothing, but another's expectations.

It doesn’t matter who you love or want to marry, as long as that love is shared, respected, and understood. It doesn’t matter what party you vote for, what matters is what is truly best for your city, country, and world. It doesn’t matter what you look like or what version of God you witness, what matters is who you are and how you love your fellow being.

Love is the one common thread across all faiths, and it is what connects us all to the divine. The divine is love, simple as that, as the best way to honour them is to love—not with expectation or motive, but truly loving another living being. It's time that we start believing in each other.

Until we stop seeing each other as you and me, and come together as we, there will never be true progress for humankind or peace for that matter. Together, we are capable of more than the fear that plagues us all like cancer, the fear that causes good people to do terrible things, and the fear that tears families apart; the terror that always follows. The problems that we face are great and they afford many unknowns, but we can and must face these challenges together. For once we truly know ourselves and each other, there are no unknowns only possibilities.

We need to start asking each other and ourselves what humanity will come to mean. What legacy will we create for those that come after? Will we leave them with broken promises to hold, or will we create a better future for all of us, free from what I expect from you and from what you expect from me? Instead, see from the perspective of We.

"We either create a world for everyone or else we will end up in a world fit for no one."