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Ethan ♡. Siris (IV)
Ethan walked back into the woods alone to get the wooden box. Of course, he wasn't really going to bury the royalties he waged so hard for working at the only Barnesandnoble in their town. Besides, Ethan could help but wonder how exceptionally profound his boyfriend seemed at the prairie. It was as if he was hiding numerous information about his intentions. But Ethan really loved him and decided to go along this parade until further notice. Ethan thought to give him an empty box, just to descend the notion of his awarity.
He ignored the constant crickets and rodents who favored their own business and strolled towards Ethan's vehicle. He opened the car door to find the wooden box that rested in between the passenger and driver seat below. Unconventionally, a piece of ivory-shaded paper caught the right side of his eye. He cocked his head towards its right and noticed a deteriorated and shriveled piece of paper in the back of Siri's seat. Baffled, he wondered what the paper was since he didn't recall any paper in the back seats before their getaway.
Ethan wanted to ignore the crinkled object, but his curiosity gotten the best of him and he found an urge to see what was hidden on one back seat of the car. Ethan unraveled the single paper and read the words in his head. When he read each and every word thoroughly, the sounds from the animals, gale, and plantlife manifested into dead silence. Soon enough, he ultimately realized the practice Siris was fabricating through the midst and their presence as a uranian couple.
He could not believe what he'd read. And to think he could trust Siris with his future goals, life, and shared intimacy together. Was their relationship a lie? An illusion that guided and bewildered both of them through this expired night? A rush of involuntary dread sought through his veins, although, the blood within Ethan did not boil into a concealed point.
"I knew something did not seem right..." Ethan spoke irrationally. Although, an uncontrollable amount of tears could not stay hindered.
He tried his best to wipe away and dry his tears, but those repeated actions grew to become more useless than before. Crucially, whenever Ethan felt downtrodden and misguided, possibly used, he would think of a Lady Gaga song and suddenly, would feel like a queen once again. It may have sounded useless in comparison to other individuals, but it was a way to cope through his life at the moment.
He thought of a way to redirect the mini voodoo ritualism that he thought he'd kept to himself, no thanks to Hadaniel drugging him in the library. Ethan went into his backpack laid at the bottom of the passenger seat where he slept and grabbed a fresh new sheet of paper. He grabbed a blue inked pen instead of a sable-shaded one since blue has been proven to visualize better within memory and wrote the following to his future self:
Please, do not be alarmed by this letter. I am writing to you because a young man named Siris has taken away your memories of your relationship. If you have faulty memories of romantic sequence of events, know that they were real and they've actually happened. No one may believe you and might call you insane, but please know you don't have to tell what they don't know.
P.S Only be with a gay individual and not a false uranian with the ideologies of curiosity. Your mental health from exceeding panic attacks and future goals to inspire the world with your writing is more important than a one-relationship wonder of the inevitable pain you could easily resort to. You will find the man of your dreams, one day. But love, it just won't be now."
Ethan could do nothing but chuckle at what he'd written. But being in the middle of nowhere; alone, painfully drained from the inside which caused the warm air to turn frigid, and frightened of what might happen next in his scenario, he had a simplistic notion this was only the beginning of his reality, knowing he was born this way.
Siris wanted to stop all of this now. This was ridiculous, but he swiftly imagined a time where they wouldn't have to do this. This was the only resort, if it worked for his ex-friend Hadaniel, well, Siris wanted to digress, but this could exempt their love for one another... somehow.
Siris looked at his soulmate until he vanished into the trees.
"My beautiful love is gone..." Siris swore he could feel water sprouting from his eyes. Siris exported under his breath and quickly covered their belongings in the dirt. He meandered around the prairie to find a stick so he can draw the heart and finally, their initials.
He searched until, "yes, this is exactly what I needed," his eyes glanced strongly at what he was about to do. It was as if something spoke to him. Something spiritual, relaxing, wicked, and ugly.
Don't tell him what he doesn't know.
Siris broke into tears. He could feel every droplet of water fall from his mocha eyes. But the beautiful thing about his tears was no matter where the water came from, at least it will infuse the soil with life again. What is wrong with me? Why do I feel like this? Where do these emotions come from? Why am I so... Gay?
The aggressiveness of the tones, the questions that lingered unto his teenage and innocent soul, and the sadness of it all just dreaded suicide.
He curated his arms slowly to the area where his memories with Ethan laid upon. And carved in a heart on the dirt. In the middle of the heart, where two hypothetical hearts stationed to create the famous shape of ever-lasting love, he wrote Ethan's initials on the top:
And his initials below his boyfriend's:
Finally, putting the stick down. He waited. Waited for the end, waiting for all of this to be over. He took in one last breath and blanked.
He heard the quick footsteps of Ethan coming up. The sounds from his black fur boots on the raggedy dirt stumped in an acquainting force. Even the wind's noise was not able to cover the truth. But in reality, the truth was only a fraction of what we don't want to know, didn't want to admit. It was just this vacant and soundless place filled with people and noise.
It was life.
"No!" Ethan yelled out. That was the sound of a heart deteriorated, neglected even. The final memory of Siris's plans were finally plastered in Ethan's mind.
"I thought you loved me! How could you?! Are you ashamed of me?!" Ethan's voice dispersed and ricocheted through the breezy midst.
Siris got up from his kneel and saw Ethan running towards him. As tall as Siris was, he felt so small and weak when Ethan looked at him dead in his eyes.
"I'm sorry..." Was all Siris could annunciate.
"You don't know what you just did or even awaken," Ethan's voice cracked when his settled tears followed and watered the ground beneath their feet.
He undoubtedly continued, "the wind is picking up, love. It's because of this... Isn't it? How did you know about the spell? You're just a football player who cares about pussy and getting girls pregnant. I knew this was just all an act. You couldn't even look at me straight in the face to even tell me you were ashamed of us being together! The memories we have conjured, made through my love... they may haunt me for the rest of my life... Weren't I enough for you, Siris? Was I not beautiful enough?"
Siris was speechless. His nose felt like it was going to bleed. And those words, those words he just heard from... Ethan.
"No, never believe you aren't beautiful. I have never seen someone... someone look like you. Act like you... It was as if you were meant to be something else..."
But Siris trampled on in his words and continuously spat out vicious abuse.
"But you're right... I am ashamed of you. I'm ashamed I've ever felt something. If anything, you were just an experiment. Like to every straight guy, you're all an experiment. And when we're done with that experiment, we leave to always forget it. But don't worry, we're all not the same, Ethan. I... loved you. But not anymore."
Ethan stood there. More tears wilted from his pupils. He looked down at the ground and instantly felled on his knees. He used his arms and hands to protect his body, something he has always done when in great distress or for a potential phase of a panic attack.
But reluctantly, Siris stood there and lifted Ethan from the soil and embraced him with a warm and safe hug. And yet, this somehow comforted Ethan.
"Remember... I loved you. There is a difference between present and past tense, right? You taught this stupid guy this. Haha. "
They both wept and embraced each other one last time before the spell could eternally wipe away all of their treasured evocations of each other, and though they were both drastically angered and filled with bitter hatred towards one another, they still felt those past feelings seconds ago as if it never went away.
Siris's words fumbled soundlessly and willingly recognized the art of silence.
But Ethan, he whispered a few words that could have been lost at sea themselves, "I remembered..."