Engagement Phobia: What Do Some Men Think Happens After Marriage?

In this article, you will find some myths about marriage from the perspective of men with a phobia of commitment. But first, what is ENGAGEMENT PHOBIA?

This problem is not often discussed, because many people do not understand it. Some call it Gamophobia or phobia of commitment or relationship anxiety. Both expressions refer to the same condition.

Relationship engagement issues

Engagement phobia is not something you will find in medical textbooks, although it is a really important issue, which is often hidden under severe anxiety and fear.

In essence, people who have commitment issues face the difficulty of staying in a long-term relationship. It's not because they don't want to be romantically attached to anyone, because that's what many people want.

If you have problems with engagement, you may confuse some of the excitement you feel when you are with someone with other feelings, such as anxiety.

If you are easily hurt (or afraid of this) you may even have a commitment phobia. The term phobia sounds pretty serious, but it's good to know - it's a fear that something bad might happen.

Causes of engagement problems

The reasons behind what causes a person to develop commitment problems are many. We will list the most important ones so that you can analyze your situation.

The most common causes are:

• Unfulfilled wishes in childhood
• History of abandonment
• Alcoholic parents
• Complicated attachment problems
• History of unfaithful partners
• Problems with self-esteem

Have you ever wondered why some men are scared of marriage? What do they think happens when they formalize their relationship with their loved ones? Here are some myths about marriage that, in the opinion of those who are afraid of engagement, are true:

Engagement phobia: Marriage means routine.

Some men are afraid of engagement, who view marriage as an institution where routine comes first. They have the impression that the same thing happens every day, indefinitely. And I'm very wrong. Like life, a marriage is a journey in which joys, accomplishments, pleasant events, but also harder times, moments of sadness, etc. await us. You never know what to expect, whether it's a good thing or a bad thing.

Engagement phobia: After you get married, love disappears.

Seduction games, romantic dates, and passionate moments disappear when you get married. Or at least that's what those men who are afraid of commitment think… In reality, things are completely the opposite. A marriage strengthens the bond of love and gives more time for romance. To commit to spending the rest of your life with someone is to use the power that only true and deep love can give you.

Engagement phobia: If I get married, I will have to share with my partner even the smallest details of my life.

Somehow, men frightened by the engagement have the impression that marriage is the institution in which they are 'forced' to reveal to the loved one every minor detail of their life.

Likewise, I believe that if they do not do this, they will have conflicts in the couple's life that will require justification over justifications. In reality, however, things are completely different … A marriage is based on mutual respect and trust. Each of those engaged in the formalized relationship has the right to their own space and even to little secrets that only they know.

Engagement phobia: If I get married, I'm the only one who will have to support my family.

Some men scared of engagement assume that when it comes to the financial chapter in a marriage, the 'head of the family is the one who has to support the family. They have the impression that when they are at work, their loved one enjoys their free time at home.

The reality is, again, completely different. There are two cases: the woman can work too (we are only in the 21st century), sometimes even more than the man, and the income is brought home by both partners; If the woman is a housewife, the work she does to keep the house clean, to cook or to take care of the children sometimes involves more effort than a real job.

Engagement phobia: If I get married, it's forever, no matter what the circumstances.

Once married, some men believe that they should stay that way forever, no matter what happens between them and their life partner. Somehow they neglect the fact that many people around them are divorcing.

If the love from the beginning has died out, if the respect has disappeared, if the relationship does not go at all properly and the children are (in some cases) affected, separation is beneficial.

Surely all these myths about marriage can be destroyed if you help your partner to understand that patience, minimal effort, and true love will turn marriage into a journey that offers many joys, accomplishments, and life lessons.