Encounter's with the ex-girlfriend.

My mission in life is to gain clarity on certain situations and to be the person who is kind-hearted and wants to make sure that nobody is left feeling like shit because of other people's actions.

A few days after Anchor and Chunk had left my home, I noticed my son playing with a Nintendo 3DS. I was told by my son that Anchor left it behind. I allowed my son to play with a Nintendo 3DS and when he was done I decided to see if it actually was Anchors. I had a suspicion that it may not be his property. My suspicion was right. I belong to his ex-girlfriend who is in Vancouver BC. I messaged one of my female friends and asked if it was even worth messaging her as I didn't want to have stolen property in my home and that I was more than willing to take back. I thought to myself maybe she could also pay for a portion of the shipping. She told me that there was no harm in attempting, but to be warned that she may not want it or could be just like Anchor.

I had been told many negative stories about this girl of course all by Anchor with Chunk agreeing with him. In this day and age it seems that a lot of us have mental health issues and extreme anxiety. I try not to judge that, and place understanding instead of judgement. I feel it’s in how we react that makes us the bigger person or can make that anxiety and somebody else go away. I had found her over Facebook, and I sent a simple message. “Hello, I know you may not want to speak to me, but after a few weeks of Anchor being at my home, I noticed the Nintendo 3DS he was using has a gothic girl avatar, which makes me believe it isn’t his property. Is there any way I can ship this back to you?” Now, I knew there was a time difference and that I wouldn't be responded to right away, as I wrote this early in the morning. She responded within an hour and said “oh my goodness thank you, I have been looking everywhere for that, I would really appreciate getting this back as it is a limited edition Zelda Nintendo 3DS”. I didn't continue the conversation. I simply asked for her mailing address and that I would let her know when I had the money to send it out as it was a heavier item. I placed it into a box, along with a few other things I had thought were hers, and put it on my dresser so I could give it back to her.

That evening we shared little bits about ourselves, it seemed we didn’t want to bring up the elephant in the room “Anchor”. She shared photos of her dogs and birds as well as art. Later on she wanted to know more, she wanted to know why she wasn't aware that he was about to leave. She needed closure. I had told her that whatever happened between her and him was between them, She started to give me different scenarios on what she went through with him and he had done the same to me when asking to communicate. She decided to give me her side of the story, I am the type of person who people just want to tell their stories to, I listen and can relate to most of what people tell me. I felt bad for her. I told her that it wasn't really fair what he had done and that he had done it to me as well and now gone back to Toronto and is living homeless with Chunk. I told her I gave it my best but there is no pleasing narcissistic behaviour. I told her I was sorry for what she had to go through with him as one of the things we both shared was the lack of wanting to have sexual intimacy with him. We both explained it was like having a black entity laying beside us at night. She had told me that he had given her a medical infection, and I had told her I refused to have sex with him because he refused to use a condom. I felt guilty saying this, no woman should feel guilty asking a man to wear a condom, but he kept pushing on how in 2014 we did do it without and that now my tubes were tied, It was simple I didn’t want to. Let's face the facts, he was a homeless man from Vancouver BC. I did not know where he had been and even if this girl seemed like she was a nice person that doesn't mean that she wasn't carrying something. The medical infection that he gave her was not of the STI type, but it's still very uncomfortable for a woman to have to deal with. I felt bad for her.

As with all narcissists they tell you that they will get mental help, they tell you that you don't understand them even though all you wished is for them to tell you what is going on in their heads. For the most part when they tell you what's going on in their heads you are to blame for every situation in their life. It was very sad to find a woman who had gone through exactly what I had gone through but for a longer period of time. I explained that I thought I was helping his situation and that we could just be friends living together. That wasn’t what Anchor wanted, he wanted a relationship or to marry me as we were supposed to be in 2014. I told her about what happened in 2018, and made a joke about how that ex is most likely his next victim. To tell you the truth, I wasn’t wrong. For a couple of weeks we spoke back and forth. She showed me her gardens, and she told me that Anchor was right when he thought something was going on between her and another room mate she had let into her home. She felt as though he was healing the hurt she felt and was more of a spiritual believer than Anchor. I was happy for her.

I felt as though our conversations brought her closure, but what it brought to me was anger. I couldn’t believe it was like listening to my own story with him over and over. How he spoke of me in such a negative way. At one point months before contact she even messaged and older deleted Facebook of mine threatening me, even though I didn’t have any sort of contact with him, something he made up to start a fight with her. She showed me a screen shot the message because I don’t even have access to that Facebook account. She was made to believe that I was stalking him in some way, which I was not. I was living my life, meeting new people and trying to heal from things that I needed to in order to trust someone again, love myself, and forgive myself for loving such unworthy men. One morning she told me that Anchor had messaged her, and that he was sorry. I told her this is what he does, continues to make attempts to fix things he is unwilling to fix. I don’t know what the rest of the conversation was but I felt upset, upset that he didn’t apologize to me, but at the same time knew that he was only doing this so she may open her heart back up once again. We both now understood the game he plays.

A week or so later, I got a message on how she had been unblocked by Chunk. I was curious, I looked and sure enough so was I. I told her they most likely parted ways and he would try to contact one of us very soon. She told me she would never allow Chunk back into her home as he left without paying her rent and really screwed up her bills. I was told a

different story. Either way, I found it interesting that he unblocked the witch from the east and the west. At least that’s what we seemed to be in their eyes at this time. She also noticed that the band page on YouTube had been taken down. We both wondered what was going on but didn’t want to ask. Was it really worth knowing?