It’s no surprise that so many with the gift of extreme empathy chalk up their sensitivities to a “curse” when you can find countless information on the downfalls of being an Empath. There are articles galore telling you how you will “attract Narcissists,” how you will “feel others' pain,” or how you will feel “alone in society.”
It’s time to talk about the strength that lies at the heart of the Empath, the courage that it takes to be kind when surrounded by cruelty, the bravery behind opening your heart to love, and the absolute control an awakened Empath can have over their lives, gifts, and experiences.
A blessing or a curse?
Empaths are known as natural healers, and this can sometimes attract those in need of healing... and it is no secret that those in the deepest need of love can express that in the most unloving ways. The problem is that, even if someone is acting abrasive on the outside, an Empath can still feel what’s happening on the inside, allowing them to really empathize with even the most toxic of behaviors. This often leads to a feeling of responsibility, or an instinctual, moral duty to help or “heal” those radiating pain and discord. This is often the beginning of an extremely exhausting cycle for the Empath, leading them to believe their gift is at fault for attracting such things, and that they have no control over their place in this cycle.
Stand in YOUR Power
Although you were born with this gift of overwhelming compassion for others, it is important to keep in mind that “Empathy without boundaries is self destruction.” You get to decide who you allow into your life, and you get to decide who you will give your energy to. The interesting thing about energy exchange is that it must be consensual. No one can drain you unless you allow it, which means that, whenever you are ready, you can also choose to not allow it.
Healing is an extremely personal journey, and each person is responsible for their own healing. Even the pure compassion in our hearts cannot bypass another’s healing journey for them. An Empath becomes so drained attempting to heal everyone in their path, because they sometimes fail to realize when a person isn’t ready to be healed. You can give your love and energy to another freely, but this can only have temporary effects for them. If they aren’t willing to do their own grunt work to repair their own energy, they will just continue using yours as a bandaid. “Before you heal someone, ask them if they are willing to give up the things that made them sick.”
Great gifts come with great responsibility, and ironically enough, a lot of that responsibility is to yourself. It is sometimes so easy to be sensitive to the needs of others while ignoring our own. Even when it is tempting, Empaths have the power to refuse being another person's enabler. Just as you can feel the pain of another, you can feel the joy and happiness of another. You’re allowed to surround yourself with people who bring you happiness, you are allowed to be happy.
“Healing is an inside job.”
At the end of it all, no one can tell you how to perceive your gift. If you believe that simply being an Empath will doom you to a life of narcissistic abuse, then that is what you will manifest. If you believe that because you’re an Empath you have the ability to discern toxicity before you allow it to consume your energy, then so it will be. The truth is, it takes courage to venture out into the world with kindness seeping from your heart, but it takes even more courage to set boundaries in place to protect your kind heart. Being an Empath doesn’t mean you are here to be victimized, that you must be a doormat, and allow others to run rampant over your heart and emotions... Being an Empath means you have the ability to discern beforehand, which relationships and situations will either contribute to, or deplete your energy, and YOU get to decide whether to involve yourself or not.
You get to decide.
Kind heart, every battle is not yours to wield.