EGO

Who we are, what we do, our reputation, almost all aspects of our life require EGO, if you will... Your Identity is an Idea of who you are and how you present, this is the False Self. It’s very hard to get to know someone due to the many built up layers of Self that have to be knocked down in order to get to know the True Self.

Ego At Play

Everyone has an Ego but most people aren't even aware of how it affects their daily life. Understanding the Ego's constant disruption to our spiritual development on our path to awareness, we can ask ourselves: "What role does the Ego play in this situation?" An ego-based mind can dominate everything- represented in our self-image, personality, talents, accomplishments and perceived weaknesses. It draws a line and separates you from everyone else. It makes judgements and longs to feel special. It loves conflicts and creates enemies, operating out of fear. Calling your False Self out by recognizing when your ego is at play, diminishes it's power. We all share the same source of spiritual energy so how do we connect to it? We have to do the work. You are not your past, your social status, the shape of your body, the size of your bank account have no bearing on your True Self.

I was listening to one of Oprah’s Super Soul conversations on Ego and it made me realize that I spent around 3 months trying to get to know someone’s False Self. I couldn’t quite figure out why getting to know this person was proving to be so difficult. At first I was quite fond of this individual until I realized that it was like listening to a stuck record. I would hear the same arguments each time we spoke, as if it was what the person told themselves or convinced themselves of. What I would hear is not what this person was doing but rather what this person thought they were doing in comparison to what everyone else does. It amazed me how many times we had the exact same conversation. The almost immediate judgements of people they didn't even know personally and after some time I realized that, there is no value in knowing the False Self. When I finally told this person how I felt, they accused me of some things like my interest in them being insincere and that I was trying to "sink my claws" into them. This was more than trust issues because if you automatically begin each friendship or relationship with distrust, the other party will only then have to try to convince you of reasons to trust them. I also did not intentionally do anything to cause this persons mistrust. I would not do that because I value authenticity. If you can't accept me for who I am without pre-judging my intentions, then there is nothing to prove to an individual like that. This person would spend hours regurgitating their thoughts and only once or twice would I see the True Self.

Eckhart Tolle broke it down- the Ego vs the Consciousness. In order to “love your neighbor as yourself,” you have to first know and love your inner self, your Higher self. Your essential self is consciousness. “You do not become good by trying to be good but by finding the goodness that is already within you and allowing that goodness to emerge.” If you cannot see the goodness in yourself and connect to it then you cannot see the goodness in your neighbor or connect to it. Who knew that the False Self, the Ego was to blame? Also, trying to be good to improve your self image is Ego. It’s a Spiritual evolution that results in knowing that the Ego cannot exist in consciousness. Thank you Eckhart Tolle and Oprah for this conversation, it was truly eye-opening. Here were some other cool points from her other guests:

EGO- Edge God Out

Wayne Dyer spoke about surrender. He said that before we are born, within those 9 months, everything is up to God. As soon as we enter the world, someone takes over and says, "thank you God, I'll take care of the rest." “I am what I have, I am what I do, I am what other people think of me, I’m separate from everybody else, I’m separate from what’s missing in my life and I’m separate from God.” You can replace God with the Universe here if you so choose. How do you find your True Self? By letting go of your False Self.

Your persona, your race, your education, your country... It’s the answer you give when people ask, “tell me about yourself.” I for one have always had a horrible time answering that question. I had to try really hard once in an acting class 3 years ago, it was a mock audition and I practically summarized my life. The teacher made a cute joke about me being on "Island Time" with the lengthy answer. I never know what to say on interviews either, what do you say when someone asks you to tell them about yourself? What is it that they really want to know? I am completely unaware of my Ego or how it should present... I'm not defined by what I do. I'm proud of my ethnic culture but I also understand that I'm not the "poster child" of it either.

Brené Brown described our culture today as “scarcity culture,” never enough... Never enough likes, comments or hustles... She also made a very interesting observation, she said, “we are afraid.” Ever since 9/11, the last 12 years have been marked by a deep fear in our culture. Like a collective post traumatic response... Oprah agreed and said we have internalized our fear and it shows up in bickering and snarky-ness... I would have to agree. Fear can make you do some crazy things. I think of a crab, backed into a corner, they don't care who's getting close, they're on the attack, at all times. I used to try to play with crabs as a little Caribbean girl, only got pinched once!

These thought -leaders are my goals! I'm a thinker... How's that for a response to "tell me about yourself"? I don't like societal norms, I've never fit into either country I've lived in and I'm finally ok with that. Right now, I'm attempting to be a good writer but writing helps me more than anything. I like to communicate, if I couldn't communicate, I would go crazy. Some people think I'm crazy because I have no filter and I'm "too open" publicly. I don't know, I don't fear being judged by people who do not know me but then again it doesn't happen often so how would I really know? I asked myself that question not too long ago because Actors are torn apart, blacklisted and cancelled daily. How would I feel when it's my turn? I like constructive criticism, it helps me grow. We're all students. I love people, does that make me crazy? Maybe I'll write another article about all the reasons why people think I'm crazy. I will have to try to remember them, if I succeed, I'll share them. It might be too much of a unfruitful mental exercise especially since those people aren't in my life anymore and whatever relationship we had was fleeting at best. In other words, I don't care what they thought of me then and still don't care today. Is that my Ego or True Self speaking? I'm self-conscious, I'll admit to that but who isn't? I like to judge myself before giving others an opportunity to.

Reputation

I had a lengthy discussion with my Father 2 days ago. He has a lot of influence and a pretty spotless reputation while being 60 years old. He was sharing some tips with me on how to treat people who do not like me. I found it hilarious, he cares about people who do not like him, I don't. His world has always been a lot smaller than mine though living in the Caribbean and me living in the US. When you see the same people everyday for all of your life, damage control seems easier, doesn't it? Honestly, Island people seem to always be their True Selves and if you dare show them your False Self, they will call you right out! Told you, I'm proud of my culture but when I'm there, my world is too small and I don't like small worlds. There goes my dilemma. How do you maintain your True Self in a world filled with False Selves?