Don’t Expect Apologies, Forgive and That’s it!

Who hasn’t decided not to act against a problem until an apology arrives from the other part? Because I had. Many times in my past.

And recently I have realized something that has stuck with me and has brought me immense peace ever since, and that is that’s just a waste of time waiting for the other person to say ‘sorry’.

Take accountability for everything in your life

Giving the responsibility to someone else for anything that happens to you, is giving away your decision-making, your freedom, and eventually, you become the victim of the story.

“Oh, it’s because he did that to me. He must apologize”. Does that sound like a person that has total control over his/her life?. It sounds a little egocentric, doesn’t it? “He did that to me”. Pff, come on, you are better than that, get rid of that belief.

The thing I realized is that if you take full accountability over anything that happens to you, either if you were involved or not, you can find immense tranquility and peace. Since you make the active decision that you will not depend on the exterior to determine how you feel.

If you are walking down the street and someone is coming your way looking at his phone, and when you come close he hits you with his shoulder, and the stranger continues walking while you expect, angrily, that he apologizes to you. Isn’t that just a big waste of energy, getting angry because you didn’t get what you wanted from the other person?

Instead, what you can do to use your energy wisely, is understand that maybe he is having a bad day. That this isn’t related to you in the slightest. And from that state of mind, you can then forgive him because forgiveness is ultimately a gift you make to yourself. To free yourself. To put the meaning that you want to the situation, rather than expecting life to put in the meaning.

Taking accountability for everything, besides being a way of freeing yourself, is an approach that will make you more independent. You don’t depend on the exterior to make definitions of things, because you actively are making the situation yours by adopting this mindset.

The actions of others are a reflection of how they feel inside with themselves

This is one of the things I had to learn harshly.

If someone doesn’t apologize to you that doesn’t mean the reason behind it is attached to something related to you. The reason why a person doesn’t apologize after making a mistake is that is based on the fear of being wrong.

A person that doesn’t say sorry has a deep fear inside of themselves. That’s not our responsibility at all. The only thing we can do is to show our understanding.

The mindset of “if they truly cared, they would’ve treated me better” comes straight from the ego, but what our higher self tells us is, again, that “the actions of others are a reflection of how they feel inside with themselves”. Staying away from what your ego wants to say, and sticking with this idea will bring far more benefits than otherwise.

Adopting those 2 key aspects that I mentioned is going to be very important if you are seeking a way to deal better with social conflicts you have in the future. This will bring you more serenity and at the time of making a decision, you will have a clearer mind, and the possibility of choosing a great alternative is going to be higher.

What did you learn here? Let me know in the comments, I would love to read you. Thank you!