Does Aggression in Couples Mean the End of the Relationship?

When the fear of the partner intervenes in the couple, love takes its toll. If there is no emotional balance in the couple and the pleasure of communicating, then the two certainly do not love each other.

It can only be about an attachment with financial, moral, or social causes, an urgent need to have someone by your side, being aware every day that it is not what you need or need. Over time, such destructive behavior will destroy your relationship and self-respect.

Who is to blame for the aggression of the couple?

It is not uncommon for us to read or witness various articles and debates about verbal and physical aggression, as a couple or in society.

It takes so much energy to explain the causes, to find excuses or culprits, but the real reasons and implications are known only to those within the couples who have gone through such a traumatic experience.

There are a thousand reasons: food imbalances, pollution, congestion, professional stress, frustrations of any kind, education received, mental imbalances, or simply a hereditary or not hereditary trait of our behavior.

Whatever the reason for the aggressive behavior, it does not mean that it cannot be controlled and changed.

In most cases, unfortunately, the victim is the one who tries to find excuses and who worries about the situation created, when in fact the aggressor must be the one in this position.

When aggressive = normal …

His abusive wife finds various pretexts such as I still love him and even he loves me but I'm sure I'm wrong with something, we built a lot together, we have children, what the world will tell you, etc.

Many of us wonder why an abusive wife finds excuses for her partner. The answer? Because he is afraid.

If aggression is tolerated in the early stages, it will only be a matter of time before it takes a dangerous turn. From high-pitched discussions and insults to push-ups, so-called "educational" slaps and beatings.

The moment you tolerate such behavior, it will gradually take the place of normalcy and you will start on a path from which you will hardly deviate.

Where will this road take you? If not to death, then at best, to a great physical and mental imbalance.

Rightly, the aggressor will think that it is normal to behave like this since his partner does not retaliate, but rather "behaves". He will even feel wrong if he is accused of aggressive and abnormal behavior.

Aggression on both sides

To my great surprise, I met and read about couples who "resolve" their conflicts through aggressive manifestations in tandem. They don't think they're doing anything out of the ordinary, they apologize amused, and think that's how they are: temperamental, volcanic, quarreling, and then reconciling every day.

Perhaps without realizing it, these people will never have true love and true communication with their partners. Because true love does not involve such "passionate" manifestations of feelings.

How does it all start between the two? At first, the tone is high, then an insult and a push to which the other responds with a slap.

Swearing and insults intervene, and the height of the show is the beatings, when everyone reacts as best they can. At some point, the retaliation ceases on the part of the one who has less physical or mental strength.

 Therefore, when in "volcanic" couples verbal aggression turns into physical aggression, no excuse has the desired amusement. One of the partners turns from the executioner into the victim.

And what is the conclusion of the "victorious"? "From now on, that's how I have to impose my decisions!"

What do you have to do to keep it from happening to you?

Unfortunately, few women discuss their aggression with their partners because they feel that it is self-evident that they would not accept such a thing, either because it seems absurd to warn their partner about it.

It may sound ridiculous to many, but it does work. It is much better to talk before marriage and talk about the control and self-control of negative energy.

And yet, whether or not you discussed this issue before marriage does not mean that at some point, verbal aggression will not manifest. If you tolerate such reactions from the beginning, they will certainly be repeated and even take other forms.

Can couples still cope with such a problem? Can anything be fixed?

Fortunately, for many couples, something else can be done. If it is not about physical aggression and verbal aggression does not coexist with alcohol or drugs, then there is a solution.

Initially, the abuser will apologize and maybe be sincerely remorseful, but if he only apologizes and not the couple's partner to help him change, it means that he does not feel the need to change and does not realize how much harm he can do to himself and his loved ones.

Help can come from a specialized person (psychologist) but also non-specialized (family, close friends, maybe even your life partner).

Do not forget!

There is no justification for aggression in a couple or a family! People who accept violence "promote" it at the same time!

Every man is responsible for what he does, so never let yourself be convinced that the reality of your couple could be different!