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Do You Want to End a Relationship That Is No Longer Working?

Here Are 3 Essential Rules to Keep In Mind

By Keith CliffordPublished 2 years ago 6 min read
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Do You Want to End a Relationship That Is No Longer Working?
Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Do you want to end a relationship - either because you simply feel like it's not working anymore, or because that person makes you jump, but you have no idea how to break up with it? Indeed, breaking up with someone puts you in a delicate situation: for you do not want to cause pain to anyone, nor do you want to play the role of the "wicked" and heartless!

So how do you break up with someone? The most important thing in this difficult situation is to avoid the clichés like: "it's not your fault, it's my fault"! Besides the fact that you didn't say or explain anything like that, you also offend the other person with this stupid reply and used it thousands and thousands of times! To avoid general clichés like this or general explanations: "I don't feel like it works" - they do more harm than good.

The second idea that is good to take into account when thinking about how to break up with someone is related to sincerity! It is best to try to be honest as much as possible!

If not here's a new product just for you! Of course, you can't tell a person directly, "I'm breaking up with you because you're annoying, arrogant, and stupid," or "I'm breaking up with you because you're so stupid in bed that I'd rather become gay/lesbian," or "I'm breaking up with you because you're ugly with foam"!

No, you don't have to be so honest, you can still shade and beautify the situation! For example: "we don't fit in at all, neither in terms of interests, nor terms of traits and I need someone to get along with", nor "we don't fit in bed and the chemistry between us doesn't work, I feel attracted to someone else "We have different expectations for the future and I want a person who wants the same things."

Finally, you understood the idea, to be honest, but as polite and subtle as possible… And if - as some people do - he simply does not want to accept the idea that it is over, you can use the oldest and best possible excuse: "I have I met someone else who attracts me, I didn't want to, I didn't do anything concrete so far, but it happened and I can't change anything ".

It sounds cruel, but if the truth doesn't work, this reason will silence the other person and he/she will have to accept the separation!

The third rule about how to break up with someone: be strong and stay in position! Sometimes tears, anger, or insistent requests for an explanation can persuade you to give up your decision. This can mean that you may not want to be separated - and you did it just to get your partner's attention, or that he/she has a strong persuasive and influential power over you and caught you in a moment of weakness!

But if you know for sure that you really want to break up and that you can't stand the person anymore, that the relationship doesn't go anywhere, that you don't fit in, that you should be alone, then don't give up convinced for anything in the world - no tears, no threats, no guilt. Because after a shorter or longer period, you will wake up in the same situation: you want to break up, she/he convinces you not to!

The truth is that more important than how you break up with someone is how the person will react, how mature, responsible he is, and how much he cared about this relationship. Some people start crying endlessly, relying on tears and guilt to tease you. Other people react impulsively and aggressively, even to the point of suicide threats, so that you are really afraid to finish what you started.

Other people explain to you so rationally and calmly that in fact, you have no acceptable reason to break up, that they convince you. Few people will react calmly, understanding your explanations and accepting your wish. Do not let yourself be manipulated and even if you get out of the whole situation wrinkled, with the label of "the bad guy", even if you are overwhelmed by remorse and guilt, respect your decision and force the other person to respect it.

After all, no matter how sadistic it sounds, it is his responsibility and freedom how he will react and what he will do! And remember that threats should not scare you, because often they are just angry words - you can't stay with someone for the sole reason that he threatened to cut your veins otherwise !!!

Important when you think about how to break up with someone is the choice of place and time: do not do it in an important or special moment for the other! Not when you celebrate something: his birthday, a certain anniversary, a professional advancement. Don't waste your time and wait at least another week.

As for the place: many choose public and crowded places, believing that this avoids a dramatic scene, but the strategy doesn't work - when shocked or hurt, a person doesn't pay much attention to the rules of social behavior. And so you end up with a beautiful scene in public! It would be best to be at her / his home, or even better, in a public place, but a very secluded and intimate one.

When thinking about how to break up with someone, it's important to consider their feelings as well! Therefore, it would be good to follow some general rules such as:

● Do not use stupid clichés or too general and impersonal explanations.

● Always explain, detailing as much as you can why you are not suitable for each other and why it would be better for both of you.

● Try as much as possible to be honest when you give him reasons, but without hurting his pride and feelings.

● Stay safe throughout the conversation if you want to break up. Any hesitation, weakness will be perceived by the other, who will use all the weapons to convince you to give up your decision.

● Important about how you break up with someone: NEVER do it on a special day for him/her, especially around his / her birthday or winter holidays! Also, don't break up at a special event: a wedding, an anniversary, a party, a romantic dinner.

● NEVER break up by phone, e-mail, or other indirect means. This shows cowardice, disinterest, indifference, and disrespect! A person, no matter how unbearable it may seem to you, deserves at least a face-to-face explanation!

● Choose carefully the place where you will have this delicate conversation: do not be too crowded, because you will choose an embarrassing scene, but - if you are really afraid of aggressive reactions, not even at home with one of you. As it was said, the most favorable would be a small, secluded place, without being crowded, but still public.

This would be a summary of the parting rules! It is important, when you think about how to break up with someone, to try as much as possible not to hurt the person more than necessary, to be fair and as honest as possible, and never to be convinced. ) to give up when you know you have made the best decision!

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