Do You Want Her?

Men can get into relationships easily. Some men find that a challenge. Then there are times relationships fizzle out, become toxic, was a lesson or they will last. There is so much to this complexity of a relationship and of a woman. I have written my most beloved piece called, “How to Keep Her.” This time I want to dive into the things that turn a woman off and on. The things that make her lose interest. I’m a woman who wants to help our fellow men try to navigate the complex nature of a woman and their brain.

All of what I’m writing about is experience-based and opinion-based. Trial and error. Every woman is completely different, so you’ll need to figure out what kind of woman you are hoping to approach and possibly have a relationship with. Paying attention is everything. If you notice the way she behaves, the things she likes or don’t like, her personality all of this will give you some clue. You have to start somewhere.

Let’s narrow down some types of women. To help you understand how different we are.

You have the clingy women.

Those who always have to know what you're doing and want to be by your side.

You have the jealous women.

These women can also fit with clingy. These women have low self-esteem and can’t stand when another woman looks at or flirts with her man. There is a less psychotic degree to this where fights and arguments occur. Then the extreme, to where you are her property and the claws come out, causing potential fights. She feels that what she has to offer you isn’t enough and that any other woman that looks your way is a threat to take you away.

You have an emotional and sensitive woman.

These women can have tendencies to break down over small stuff. Cry a little more than they should. Get feelings hurt easier. Harder to joke with.

You have the women who don’t care what you do.

More of a free spirit, in a way. They care to an extent, but you have a life and she has one. They give you space and trust you. You break the trust then she’s gone. No re-dos.

You have the hard-working women.

These women are consumed with work-life and may have priorities a little off. So you may get pushed to the back burner because of that career-driven passion.

You have the damaged women.

These are sexually abused, physically abused, verbally abused, and emotionally abused. These women usually are the ones who will love you the hardest and stick with you through it all. They have been through hell, so all they want is good. Once good is received in an appropriate time frame. They will never let go because they are healing. These women are difficult to love but are worthy. They always have trust issues and guards up. Once they let you in and you give up the fight to love them; after all, they been through, they won’t allow you back in.

You have some women who have no self-worth.

These type of women will often show that with their behavior, their choice of clothes and job choice. This is not to put anyone down but only stating facts. Women who use their bodies to gain men and their attention or money have low self-esteem and self-love. These women will be your easy access, and the easy ones to get into a relationship with. That will sometimes turn toxic. The reason why, is because their image of themselves. They want to take it out on you. This can also be seen in poor health habits, such as food choice and complains about things wanting to change but doing nothing to change it.

These are roughly some ideas of different women and who they are in a sense. Again opinion-based.

The type of person you should be wanting to be with man or woman is someone who loves themselves, takes care of their mind, body, and soul. They are mentally strong, have goals, and wants states of happiness. They are positive people. You should want to be a healthy individual before entering a relationship and the person you choose as a partner should also want to be a healthy individual. To create a happy balance and a joyful relationship.

We have all that out of the way. Let’s break down the turn-ons and offs. What will easily make a woman not want to look your way or have anything to do with you.

1. SEX

When a man has nothing but sex memes, sex on the brain or sex conversations. Some women may love this. I know many women who just want to hit the door. Women want there to be more than sex. Sex in itself is a great component to a relationship but should not be the focus. Unless it’s mutual between both parties that sex is all of their focus. If you want a healthy relationship with a woman this is one way to get rid of her. She wants to have quality time with you. She doesn’t want to feel that she has to put out to get any time with you. You should ease the whole sex thing into a relationship and not be pushy or demanding about it. Not have it as the main focus. She doesn’t want to feel as if she’s your sex object. She’s a person.

2. COMMUNICATION

Pay attention to her. Notice how she likes her coffee and omelet. If you are being kind and make her coffee and omelet before she heads out to work and it’s done wrong. That the coffee has too much creamer and the omelet is salty, if she’s a good sport she’ll swallow and put a smile on her face. If she isn’t a good sport she’ll argue with you. Then once she heads off to work she will be thinking, “I wish he would pay attention more.” If you pay attention to her and communicate appropriately with her and you have her coffee exactly as she wants and her omelet done right then you’ll get a kiss before she leaves. She will be thinking, “I have such a great man. I’m so lucky.” More to communication than that. If you play your video games all day then great. Just don’t ignore her. You spend half your day playing then she will want to leave for good. May be an argument. She doesn’t feel valued or important. Having five to ten-minute conversations a day to make each other feel valued and important is crucial. That’s how to keep her interest. You don’t have to tell her everything but don’t go hiding things or keeping secrets because she will be done. Trust has to be there. You can’t do any of this, then just stay a man child and don’t bother with a relationship. Always tell each other where you are at. If you want marriage or not. If you want kids or not. If you a good time person or not. If you are a side piece or not. If you are just being used for sex. This is huge because feelings get hurt because people can’t just woman or man up and just be honest where they stand. Years of their life get used for what; lack of saying, “Hey, you were just my good time pal. It was never anything.” Seriously think about that. How do you want to use your time? Wasted and used? Valued and wanted?

3. RESPECT

When a woman says, “I’m taking a day to myself and ignoring messages.” All of a sudden she gets blown up and messages keep coming in from people when you just asked to be left alone. On top of that, they want to come by and see you without asking you if that’s okay. That is how a woman wants nothing to do with you. When you lay your hand on her. When you play mind games with her. Manipulate her. Call her “baby, honey, sweetheart, etc” after only laying eyes on you once and you are a stranger she has lost interest. When you verbally abuse her and emotionally abuse her. When you hurt her children. When you disrespect her family and even go as far as bashing them online. She has lost interest. When you feel entitled to her time by repeatedly asking for her to talk to you, she has lost interest. When you feel that you are entitled to a picture of her whether nude or not and you become pushy about, she has lost interest. When you depict yourself as a bully to her making her feel as if she owes you, she has lost interest. When it all comes crashing down and it’s over and you throw everything back in her face of all you did for her and every dime you spent, she has lost interest. She is now questioning who you are. You decided to be with her and partake on all of that as a couple as did she. Then to smear it in her face as if she cost you misery from it all and put yourself on a pedal stool making her feel so low. Making her question whether she was even worth it to begin with. None of that is respect. Women want to be respected. You have no idea what respect is or how to do it properly then don’t bother with a relationship. You’ll be asking for a disaster of toxicity, arguments, and fights.

4. COMPLIMENTS

Women love compliments. You don’t need to overdo it. That becomes annoying and she will become bored. Tell her how pretty she looks, that her hair looks nice. Thank her for the meal she cooked, for the clean house, for watching the kids while you worked. Kiss her out of nowhere and tell her your the luckiest man. Some women can be conceited and love the attention thing. I can’t help you there. You shouldn’t feed into someone’s conceited ways because they need to come back to earth. Women just want to be valued and appreciated. They want to feel like they are the only woman who matters to you. When she’s in your arms she wants to feel like out of the billions of people out there only she and you matter. That you both are on cloud nine and full of bliss.

Relationships are 50/50 plain and simple. If your relationship is not then you need to do some work to balance the scales out. Women can be complex but most women aren’t hard to please. If you pay attention to her and learn about her then you’ll gain access. You put in the work and you will gain the reward. If this has helped you gain the woman you want then work hard to keep her. If it feels right then do it. If it doesn’t feel right then don’t. You can not force yourself to love someone. You can not grow to love someone. If there is a connection that is a great start. All of this can be twisted and looked at what could lose a man’s interest to a certain extent. We are human beings and we have feelings. We have one life. We get to decide what makes us happy and what doesn't.

I have added other links to my other works. I hope something I have written about can help you. That you can stand tall in knowing that you are worthy of so much. Don't settle and don't rush. I'm not trying to play cupid or be full of knowledge. I don't know everything. I don't mean to come off in a particular way. I am just a human being who is real with all my readers and I share some of my experiences to not be so fake. To help with the idea of we are alike in some ways. That we will never be perfect. I am a single mom, and a passionate writer who just wants to help others. I have lived many of these situations and I know how it feels to be played. I know how it feels to be loved. If I don't share something real then how can I help you?

We all deserve happiness and someone who can be there for us. I am just one woman amongst the billions who is just trying to make a small impact and hopefully give you some helpful tips that may be useful. I am no better than anyone else. I am an ordinary woman living an extraordinary life being a mom and a writer amongst this chaotic world.