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Depressed, always unhappy, always somehow crying out, how can I self-regulate?


By Dylan M ParkinPublished 2 years ago 6 min read

Let me first introduce a concept: spiritual depletion

What is spiritual depletion?

In layman's terms, it's the two little people inside yourself fighting, internally conflicted, and mentally exhausted.

Once I was the internal consumption of this consumption, so when I saw this problem, super serious to find information, organize, think, summarize, before and after nearly 8 hours to write this 5000 words of the article, I hope you can take your time to read on, to help you.

First of all, I think that introverted people are not necessarily very serious mental internal conflict.

Rather, people with high sensitivity, low self-esteem, high expectations for things, strict requirements for themselves, low expressive ability and willingness, and afraid to fight, fear of conflict and struggle, will have serious internal conflict!

In short, spiritual depletion is the result of conflicting internal emotions and multiple interests.

In short, spiritual internal conflict is the result of conflicting internal emotions and multiple interests. And a person with serious spiritual internal conflict may be an introvert at the same time, and that's all there is to the relationship between the two.

First of all, let's see how to understand "introversion" properly.

What is introversion? How to correctly identify whether you are an introvert or an extrovert?

Many people's misunderstanding of introversion is that when they see a person who is awkward and inexpressive, or who doesn't talk much, or who doesn't seem to like talking, they conclude that this is an introvert.

This is not necessarily the case.

The correct understanding of introversion is that a person who can get more energy from being alone is said to be an introvert. Conversely, extroversion means that a person can get more energy from all kinds of interpersonal activities. It can be said that introverts are better at thinking, while extroverts prefer to act.

Specifically, introversion is manifested as follows: no matter whether a person is lazing around, sleeping, watching TV, or reading, studying or writing work in a "separate space" when he is alone, as long as he does not need to socialize, communicate, compromise, or cooperate face-to-face with other people, and does not care about the eyes of others and the evaluation of the moment, he can gradually recover from physical fatigue and mental exhaustion (gaining energy and raising energy value).

Let's say this is a relative introvert. Because introversion is not unchanging, it is a psychological state of a person for a period of time, and sometimes people may change from introversion to extroversion, or extroverts to introversion, because of something or an opportunity or a natural flow of states, but of course, this may happen less often. Overall, it is a relatively stable state in the personality chart whether you are introverted or extroverted.

And it's not that introverts don't like to go to parties and events, or that they can't talk eloquently in front of people, or that they can't express themselves in public speech.

Rather, when attending parties, activities, and public expressions, he is in a state of consuming energy. After these activities, he will feel his energy value is lowered and he needs to recover by resting (being alone).

Therefore, an introvert often needs to spend more time alone than at parties, events and public expressions, so that he can ensure that his energy level is abundant and that he is in a relatively relaxed state, and that he can work and live in a normal and harmonious way.

Second, how to understand the spiritual depletion? What is the harm of long-term mental depletion to people?

Mental depletion, also known as internal psychological depletion, refers to the consumption of mental resources for self-control, and when mental resources are insufficient, the individual is in a state of internal depletion.

In layman's terms, when you are not physically tired because of physical work and feel fatigue, or fatigue caused by brain work or overnight work, but because of a subjective feeling in the mind that makes you feel tired, then you are in a state of so-called internal depletion.

And long-term internal consumption will make people feel very tired.

For example: often feel tired, feel stressed, but objectively actually did not do anything; do not know what they really want, or sometimes clear what they want, have a direction of effort, but are not yet how to act on it, you are tired.

As well as, get along with people, interpersonal or intimate relationships, when the two sides encounter disagreement or conflict, you are prone to suspicion and speculation about each other's views on you, the idea of things, can not calmly and clearly express their ideas and views, but more often choose to sulk, rather than communication and action to resolve conflicts.

These are a kind of depletion and wear and tear on the ego psyche.

Do not underestimate this subjective attrition, it actually has a significant impact on our health.

In small ways, mental depletion can affect the efficiency of people's work, the quality of sleep, and even insomnia, when things are not moving forward, cowering hesitant and not confident and missed opportunities.

The big picture, hypertension, coronary heart disease and tumors and other diseases, although the pathology is more complex, but generally have a close relationship with the mental psychology.

Medical psychology research shows that if psychological internal conflict exists for a long time and is not channeled, it will cause depression, depression, mental trance and even mental disorders, and will also lead to a variety of physical and mental disorders. And common migraine, hypertension, ischemic heart disease, etc., are also very related to the psychological depletion.

However, because this loss is a long-term, subtle process, so it is very easy to be ignored. For this reason, some people call psychological attrition the "hidden killer" of modern workplace people.

What are the causes of "mental depletion"?

The causes of mental depletion are complex, with internal and external causes, and multiple internal and external factors interacting with each other, and the following five most important causes have been concluded through research and personal experience.

1. High sensitivity, low self-esteem and low self-esteem

Self-esteem is crucial to a person's psychological survival. People with high self-esteem can form a more correct understanding of themselves, and can see their own value, and know whether they like themselves, so they can live a more comfortable and relaxed life.

Low self-esteem, that is, a low sense of self-worth, is a person's internal evaluation of their own lower, is a kind of disapproval of their own, do not accept the emotions, and no matter how striking and enviable the person's external achievements, or, he himself is obscure ordinary people, in short, the inner he is very tired, very contradictory, easy to produce self-doubt and self-denial.

If one's sensitivity is not controlled, the slightest thing can move one's nerves and cause serious mental depletion by overthinking.

When high sensitivity collides with low self-esteem, it is easy for people to develop an inferiority complex, as well as excessive attention to the eyes of others, overly concerned about the evaluation of their own.

You may unconsciously think "did I not perform well just now", "will he like me", "will he think I'm bad", "did I do this thing not well", "why am I so bad" and so on, with internal conflicts and fights all the time, causing mental attrition.

2. High-intensity and excessive competition, peer pressure, and parental expectations in the age of involution

Not knowing that we have entered the era of involution, because there are only so many resources in general, but the number of people competing is many times higher, so not everyone can get it, and it is no longer easy for the poor to turn over, and college does not mean a good job.

Once many years of classmates and friends have been promoted and bought a house, while you are still afraid of being fired for being almost 30 years old, and worried about your body that can not adapt to the intensity of 996 work.

Don't say that one day you can get married, you don't have to talk about love, and you don't have time to think about it, after all, when you see the Haidian chicken children only feel that they are not worthy, if you can't give your children a life that you are willing to walk, it is better not to take ta born, really can't bear to harm others and harm themselves, it is better to raise yourself well and realize a little more life possibilities.

For parents and relatives expectations and marriage, I'm sorry, you can not afford, can only stay away from them, temporarily cope with the past.

Your own life is your own decision, the result is good or bad can only be borne by yourself.

That said, but still a lot of pressure, resulting in mental internal consumption.

3. will focus more on the uncontrollable results


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    DMPWritten by Dylan M Parkin

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