Defining the Relationship

The moment a man hears the phrase “we need to talk”, he immediately breaks out in a cold sweat. Yes, I’m talking about the dreaded where is this relationship going talk. Well, I have news for you men, some women dread it too. But wherever you fall on the dread scale, defining the relationship is something that needs to be done. After all, who revels in waking up day after day not knowing where your relationship is going? It’s brutal! And so DTR (defining the relationship) becomes a necessity…

1. It’s not your responsibility.

Read that sentence again. You should not be asking him to be your “boyfriend” or to “spend more time with you” or to “have the talk”…none of that. Men are genetically programmed to be the hunters…and are usually quite turned off by an overly aggressive woman. If a man truly wants to be with you, he will crawl over broken glass or climb the highest mountain, just to be with you.

2. If you have to ask…

Come on, if you have to ask where the relationship is going, chances are that it’s not going anywhere. Men are not big on pouring their hearts out and you shouldn’t expect that from them. Let his actions speak instead. Do you hear from him daily? Does he make you a priority? These are good signs…you can bet it’s headed in the right direction.

3. Define your boundaries.

Ok, so you’re not going to DTR. But what you can do is let him know what your boundaries are. You should tell him right up front what you will and won’t accept when it comes to his behavior. I’m not suggesting you lay it all out on the first date…let these issues come up naturally in conversations.

1. It’s simple.

Making a woman your girlfriend doesn’t have to be difficult. It can be as simple as one day introducing her as your girlfriend. But before you do this, make sure she’s on the same page as you!

2. Drop hints.

So….how do you find out if she’s down to be your girlfriend? First, make sure she’s into you and interested in a committed relationship (i.e. she doesn’t disappear or cancel dates). Second, say things like “If you were my girlfriend” and watch for her reaction. Please make sure you’re really paying attention to her body language. Also, if you want her to exclusively date you, you’re going to have to request that the two of you be exclusive. These days smart women never just assume…

3. Actions speak louder than words.

A woman who is really into you may not need the girlfriend title in the early stages of your relationship—provided your actions speak louder than your words. If you say one thing and do something entirely different, well you’re just an asshole plain and simple. Say what you mean, and mean what you say!

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