Friendship can be a beautiful thing. A best friend is someone who’s there to share the good times and support us through the bad times, but when that friendship falls apart, it can cause horrific pain. I think it’s important to know that friends can break your heart just as much, if not more so than romantic partners. I lost my best friend last year, and it was undoubtedly the most painful loss I have ever experienced. I wrote this letter to express my feelings and try to come to terms with the situation. I never sent it, but it helped me to get closure and move on, maybe writing could help you too.
Dear ex best friend,
Before I say anything else, I want you to know that I love you. I have always loved you and I will never stop. I need to tell you that I am grateful. I am grateful for all the wonderful memories that created the amazing friendship we once had. I will never forget the days at the beach, or the countless hours spent drinking tea and chatting about this, that and whatever else. I will remember the parties and crazy evenings spent with you.
From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you for all the times that you saved me from myself. When I needed someone to vent to, you were there. You would listen, and you would tell me that I was being an idiot, or that I was not. You were honest, and I loved you for it. I want to thank you whole heartedly for the hours spent trying to pull me out of dark places in my mind. Thank you for the lengthy conversations we had. Thank you for telling me how much you cared when I thought nobody did. I am endlessly grateful for your persistent attempts to support me when all I did was push you away. I know I didn’t always show it, but I appreciated it more than you will ever know.
It is all these things that have instilled an everlasting love and admiration for you in my heart, but it is not enough to keep our friendship intact. You hurt me. You hurt me at a time when I didn’t think I could hurt any more. You treated me like gold, you built up my trust, and then you smashed it into a million pieces when I was most vulnerable. You turned your back on me when I needed you, and for that I will never forgive you. I truly believe that you do not understand how much pain you caused, and I hope you never do. I hope you never have to experience the guilt of knowing what you have put me through. I know that you are a good person, and that your actions were unintentional, but that does not make it any less painful for me.
Our friendship is over now, and that void will never be filled. There is no going back, but I need you to know that I will always support you from afar. I will always wish good things for you, and should you ever need a shoulder to cry on, mine will always be there for you. If anyone asks me about you, I will have nothing but kind words to share. You hurt me, and I will never forget that, but that is nothing in comparison to the amazing impact you've had on my life. So this is goodbye, goodbye and thank you. Thank you for being you, and thank you for making me, me.
I’ll love you forever, Your ex best friend.