Deadly or Not?

"The female of the species is more deadly than the males," so said Rudyard Kipling. I find myself contemplating these words as I watch my husband with his three males dogs. While he is mowing the backyard and they are either running around him or laying in the grass, my two female cats and I are sipping tea on the couch and reading a book. Or attempting to, anyway. The female in the novel just cannot seem to capture my attention as I seem to be judging her. Just as I was beginning to give up on the novel, these words are quoted. Can all females be considered more deadly? Or is it simple a male who is afraid of a specific female making a generalized statement? And so I find myself contemplating my own household.

Growing up, there were two human males (father and brother), three male dogs, and four females (mother and sisters). It was always an unspoken rule while playing a game of Slug Bug that you never hit Mom. It was always expected that Mom was listed as our emergency contact on everything, and that we needed permission from Mom and not Dad. As we got older, it became apparent that brother was lazy, and so the sisters took care of the male dogs. One of the sisters even took up mowing the lawn, with all hilarity involved. As adults, the sisters each have their own home, pay their own bills, and the brother is still living in the parents’ house. Based on this, then I would agree with Kipling’s words.

So I turn to my husband’s family. My mother in law is known for not working, while my father in law is known for never sitting down and relaxing. One of my sisters in law has two daughters that she regularly leaves with her parents, is not married, and allows her boyfriend to kick her out of the apartment that is in her name. The other sister in law makes her husband drive an hour and a half to work because she refuses to move out of her hometown. She also run up their debts to become a Registered Nurse, but when he retired, she has done nothing with her nursing degree. My husband works almost sixty hours a week, never takes a sick day, but gives up his bed to the dogs. Based on this information, I would be conflicted but would lean towards somewhat agreeing with Kipling’s words.

Now the dogs and cats in my home. The oldest of the two female cats does show dominance over all the others. The younger cat might be a psychopath since she enjoys jumping at the dogs, and swiping at their tails. The biggest, but youngest male is absolutely terrified of his two significantly smaller feline sisters. Whereas the oldest doesn’t bother acknowledge them except in rare moments of play. Finally, the middle dog doesn’t seem to care if the cats want his attention or not. He lays his head on the youngest cat, cuddles with her, and always ignores the older one’s warning hisses. He is the first to check on them when they are “talking” to something outside, and follows them around when they are on the back patio. In this regard, I would not say females are more deadly, but they are more dominant.

So what makes a female deadly? Is it the ability to take care of one’s self without the aid of a male? Or is it the manipulative qualities a female can use to “get their way”? And who decides those methods are deadly? I have watched females in high school act stupid to get the boy, and it has always bothered me. Years later my parents tell me about the gossip of my hometown, “so-and-so isn’t married to so-and-so anymore.” So did manipulating give those females power to achieve what they wanted? I acknowledge that my sisters in law and mother in law are manipulative, and that they order their males about. But is that deadly or dominant? I admit that my mother, sisters, and I are more logical and rational than my father and brother. Is that deadly or intelligent?

I look around my home. A home that my husband and I bought together. Sometimes while I was not working, others while he was not working. The items within it hold value for both of us. Some more for him than me and vice versa, but it is all ours together. We worked hard to achieve our dreams. There are times we have fought as to who worked harder but at the end of the day we have been together. There is nothing about this house and our lives that is more his than mine, it is all ours together through all means. So while I can see the merit of Kipling’s words, I have to respectfully disagree. I don’t believe females are more deadly than males. I believe that deadly is used too often to describe individuals who have achieved their goals by jealous individuals. Anyone can be deadly under the right circumstances.