Dating Normal

I had someone ask me earlier today where and how they could meet a normal woman. At first my response was "good luck." But then I sat down and decided to really think about it. There are so many ways to meet people these days and unfortunately with the cost of living, the economy being bad and people spending more time online, it's become difficult to really get out and find new people. So, what do you do to take that step in your life when you actually want a relationship? Where can you go to meet people who like to spend the time to have an actual long-term relationship? Is your only option online? If so, then how do you know what you're doing and if they are who they say they are? Is there a safe way?

First of all, let's talk about normal. What is "normal?" I do believe what they may have meant was a non-stalker; someone who wants an adult relationship, the house, the kids and a future. It does seem that in the recent years, the dating scene is lacking in the number of people who are looking for just that. People seem to be bouncing around and more "stacking" people up rather than actually having meaningful relationships. It's a shame too, because there are people out there who don't really have a chance to get out of the house and their only option is online. Unfortunately, the people that they are running into are the ones who don't want anything serious.

So, where do you go these days to find someone who wants something serious without having to pay a fortune on e-harmony, match or one of those other sites that charges for their service? There are a number of options online but again, if people aren't paying to find someone, you may run into the same issue. Plenty of Fish is an option and they do give you the choice of what age group, what type of person and what they are looking for. You also have the option of being grouped with people who are looking for a relationship, but I was in that option and still received messages from people who were only looking to "hook up." It was still a site where I received tons of messages and had to wade through the "bull" until I found people with substance. Dating in the real world is hard enough, online, you're adding hundreds to that hard enough.

So, if your only option is the online one, how do you get through all the "bull" to find what you want? There really is no easy way except to spend the time messaging with people. When you click, then move it to chat.

Take the time to really ask questions.

Ask what they are looking for. Be upfront and tell them what you want. If you continue to be honest, people will learn to be honest with you.

Ask for recent pictures, or new ones that aren't posted to their profile.

Most people these days should be able to supply those quickly. If they are faking who they are they won't be able to.

Make sure they have real pictures up with head shots.

It's easy to crop a picture with your same skin tone and post it as your own. A lot of people these days are posting pics of stars, stickers and scenery. They are also editing, adding “flare” and using snapchat or messenger filters. If you like their profile then ask them for a pic of them, not fake ones.

Be patient.

Rome wasn't built in a day and if you’re looking for "lifelong" then you’re going to want to build a foundation in that relationship. Take the time to build it strong.

If you’re not looking online and the only place where single people go in your town is a bar or a club, then take your time their too. The people that are running and seem to have a lot of friends aren't always the best option. They will most likely be the same way with you. Watch for those people who behave the way you do when you’re out. Step up and talk to them; say hello, bring them a bottled water or strike up a conversation. If you don't ever do it, chances are they won't come to you. If you're uncomfortable talking to new people, then say so. "Hi, I want to come talk to you but I'm not really good at talking to new people. My name is..." At least it's not a line and you’re making a move. If you never take a step you will never be able to walk.

If you have questions, comments or suggestions for people who are looking for "normal" you can leave them below or email me at [email protected] or find me on Twitter, Facebook.