Valentine's Day is coming around the corner and so many people are doing what any person would do right before Valentine's Day...Make sure they stay booed up. So that they don't be that girl or boy strolling through a timeline of "Happy Valentine's Day Bae" posts while they are home alone. Yet, most people forget that toxic relationships are not worth "hanging in there" no matter the day or special event. Here are some signs you are in a toxic relationship A.K.A relationshit. Don't leave now! If you are scared to keep reading you probably already know and this is your tenth time asking your higher power to send you a sign, well here it is! Ten signs you are in a lovely relationshit...
#1: Nothing you do is ever enough.
You find yourself constantly in an argument over little things, whether it's something you did do or something you didn't do, either way it was wrong. Simple things like laughing at there friend's jokes or forgetting to turn off a light overly frustrate them. Doing something nice like trying to take them out to eat is unappreciated and turns into, "You should've asked me, I hate this place." If you are in this relationship and it seems like nothing you do can be right in their presence you are in a toxic relationshit.
#2: You are shamed for acting like yourself.
They consistently are unable to see the real you. They tell you to stop doing things you like because it's " stupid". They always tell you how you can fix yourself, and I'm not talking about telling you to be helpful. They will only go places with you if you meet their standers. They are ashamed of your appearance all the time. They won't let you be yourself in public because it's "embarrassing". If you are in a relationship where it's more of a demand to stop being you than a helpful suggestion to make you better, than it's probably a relationshit.
#3: They make you feel bad about your feelings.
This one is pretty easy to see. If you feel bad about something or situations they will make you feel like your feels are invalid or overdramatic. They are never trying to see your side of anything or understand where you are coming from. It automatically turns in to "I'm not about to talk about this," or "You are tripping." Feelings are not up for discussion when it is something involving them.
#4: They turn everything into something about them.
If something is going bad in your life whether it's with family, friends, or work, and you turn to them for comfort, by the end of the conversation you find yourself comforting them instead. A situation can never fully be about you. If you are excited because something great happening and you tell them about it, they have to find something to one-up you, or worst case, brings you back down.
#5: If they are not making you into a better person.
A relationship is all about growth. You get in a relationship to grow as a unit, grow in love, grow in finances, grow a family, grow support! A relationship is all about growth and if you are in a relationship where this person is devaluing your dreams, not supporting you to reach your goals, doesn't like your success to be faster or beyond their's... You are in a relationshit!
#6: Making you feel as if you have a spot to fight for.
If you are in a relationship where someone is making you feel replaceable. Always reminding you how many people want them, and make you feel like you are in competition with another man or woman...cut the relationship and let all them people have them. In no relationship should anyone feel like they are fighting for someone's attention.
#7: You are staying because you don't want to start over.
Sometimes people let how long they have been in a relationship determine how much they should put up with before they leave. I am here to tell you, all history is not good history just because you have been through so much does not make you obligated to stay. Don't stay on "what if?" terms. "What if they go back to who they used to be?" "What if they change?" What if? Well, it's keeping you in an unhealthy relationship that is killing you...
#8: Becoming Co-Dependent
If you start to feel like, you can't be anything without them. Like if they don't call you everyday or text you throughout the day and it drives you insane. If they make you feel like you can't be nothing without them, you are in a toxic, dangerous relationship.
#9: They only want you when you are leaving.
Someone begging for you after they realize they messed up is not a good reason to stay in a relationship. If this becomes a cycle of you getting fed up and they become this perfect person until you are back. Then, this is a cycle that needs to end.
#10: Emotional or Physical Abuse
This is one that many people miss interpret. These two go hand-in-hand, because one can lead to the other. Emotional abuse can include everything I spoke about above and more, if it seems like this person is happy or more comfortable seeing you feel less than, sad or belittled, that is emotional abuse. Physical abuse is not just when someone puts their hands on you, but also when someone constantly threatens to hurt you, or destroys things around you to show you what they are capable of doing. Please save your pain and self-worth and cut the relationship off.
I understand when you are in the relationship it is hard to accept the fact that it is toxic and your judgment is clouded by your feels but that voice that is in your head that said "This is us," or telling you to leave, is not just a thought, listen to it. For more help with abuse call National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1−800−799−7233.