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Confidence Is Frowned Upon?

Society is truly backwards.

By Matt WPublished 6 years ago 4 min read
i do not own this image

Hello and welcome to anyone reading along today. A quick message to let you know my English is very poor and my pieces are very opinionated. If you can deal with that then go on ahead and if you can then by all means share your opinions with me.

I recently read an article about how to have much more self confidence. As I was reading through some of the points made by the author I found myself drifting off to thoughts of how negatively a lot of people react to displays of confidence. It appears to me that the system of support leans towards helping others feel confident in themselves in order to feel satisfaction for yourself believing that you have done a good thing and therefore you become a better person. It is an example of replacing the fear of insecurity with a feeling of some accomplishment.

However when it comes to supporting people who are already very comfortable with themselves, all of the rules for support appear to fly straight out of the window. Everyone must be struck down for being vein or not as good as they believe themselves to be. I have sort of discovered through spending an unhealthy amount of time on the internet that there tends to be two types of people who react to confidence and you will definitely find yourself fitting into one of these groups.

The first are the more positive people. Unfortunately this will often be the much smaller of the two groups. These are the people who will without a doubt support their family or their friends and often online complete strangers. I find this a lot on Instagram that in the comments you will often find people supporting causes for people who suffer from a lot of insecurity about themselves or general anxiety and struggle to go day by day without worrying what others think of them. These people are some of the most important people in the world. I am by no means an expert on the effects of mental illness but it would be stupid to ignore how much more mental illness and awareness of it is coming to the surface which on the positive side is a great thing. Mental illness itself is awful but the fact we are becoming more aware of it being a real thing means it becomes easier to deal with. Major tangent I know, but I do have a point. If you see someone discussing their own mental illness, then you need to be one of these people who will put their feelings first and be outgoing to be supportive. A simple encouraging word can push someone much further towards growing their self confidence and helping them overcome something that is really bringing them down. Overcoming any form of insecurity is hard and an individual quest but that does not mean outside help is not useful.

Then there is the second type of person. Many names are given to this type of individual and a few will probably pop to mind when you hear all about them. Noticeablebehaviors generally consist of things like backhanded compliments or negging. Saying things to others for personal gain like telling someone they are attractive in hopes of getting something positive out of it aside just making that person's day. In some extreme cases that I have seen online, most of which are guys trying to pick up girls on dating apps, the guys have then retracted their statements and resorted to hateful outbursts since they don't get the sort of response they wanted. When hoping for a thank you and instead getting something along the lines of "I know," the true intent of these individuals comes out. It's truly awful because in the long term it causes damage to insecure individuals and can resort in toxic relationships controlled by negative attitudes and behavior.

I guess really if you see it happening, then try to put a stop to it. Be there for that stranger on Facebook being swamped by negativity. And so importantly listen to what your friends and family have to say. I once sat for a good four hours with a friend just listening to everything that was bottle up in their head because of lack of opportunity and fear of really opening up never allowing them to let it all out. Use your head because not every one finds living every day as easy as you do.


About the Creator

Matt W

I spend loads of time thinking about things. Sometimes for days at a time. Its a nice thought to put it on paper and share it with the world

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