"Comfortable Silence" Is a Real Thing

Have you ever been on a date or out with a friend, and the two of you somehow ran out of things to talk about? You must have felt awkward. You were probably thinking, "Isn't the point of socializing, well, to socialize?"

Well, I'm here to tell you that socializing isn't just about being a chatterbox.

You might have heard the term "comfortable silence" before from some quote on Tumblr or your favorite love story, and I can assure you that whoever uses it in theirs isn't just trying to sound poetic for the sake of it.

The quality of the bond you share with another person isn't measured by how many topics you can come up with for conversation before either one of you (or both of you) grows bored. If you sincerely hold this mindset, you don't value any sort of relationship in the first place. There's nothing wrong with starting up conversations again at different points of your rendezvous, and it doesn't speak well for your partner if you're worried they won't accept changes of pace anyway. Reverse the situation, and it doesn't make you look good either.

Bonds are about all the experiences, moments, and emotions people share with one another, whether spoken or otherwise. Doesn't it feel so much better basking in someone else's presence or confidently relying on them being there for you when you need them, rather than having shallow discussions that most likely won't bear any relevance the next day?

You need to trust each other well enough to know that sometimes, all that's required of you both is to share laughs, tears, or hugs without the need to say anything. Needless to say, the list goes on. It shows a high level of appreciation as well as reassurance that you're able to show vulnerability to someone you say you care for, or that you're able to just relax after all the stress you more than likely put up with on a daily basis.

Not to mention, it demonstrates your ability to understand one another on an instinctual level (let alone emotional or spiritual level) without always having to explain yourselves. Of course, communication is extremely important in any relationship. However, a big part of that is being able to balance out dialogue to establish certain grounds with intuition to satisfy certain wishes. In fact, the latter can go a long way in preventing your partner from becoming frustrated with you, because you're paying close attention to them and their needs at that moment. They would undoubtedly do the same for you.

In a world of people pleasers and self-defenders, we all want to know deep down that there can at least be one instance in our day where we can completely and unapologetically be ourselves and not worry about being judged by those who ultimately matter the most to us.

Always remember that situations are only as "awkward" as you make them out to be. If you truly believe in the person you're spending time with, let that sudden fall of silence be a comfortable one. In this life, you never know when you're going to get the chance to relive such special moments, and it's better to cherish the feelings you'll surely remember for the rest of your time on this planet than the silly ramblings or pointless insecurities you'll forget about almost instantly. It's one thing to learn from these slip-ups in character, but it's another to actually act like you've learned your lesson.

So the next time the conversation comes to a halt, take that opportunity to remind yourself how happy you are to have that person in your life and enjoy a little break from the usual chatter.