Choice Points In Life

I recently touched on the topic of Choice Points/Life’s Signal Markers. The truth is simple, life is a series of choices. Which choice we make and when we make it influences not only the direct result of that particular choice but also all the subsequent choices we make. Significant choices at key points of our life and when we make them are crucial.

It is like a cascading series of dominoes toppling, a kaleidoscopic blurring of images, people and places, actions and reactions, results and consequences, rewards and punishments that only become clear to us after they are all over and done with. These are the Choice Points in our lives.

It is all a matter of perspective, a means of stepping outside of your body and looking at yourself as if you were an outside party, a third person. It is like that poem by the Scottish poet Robert Burns “Oh would some power the giftie give us, To see ourselves as others see us!”

Yet that is the hardest part! We are all such busy people! We so easily get caught up in the mix of day-to-day life, entangled and ensnared in the mesh of work world and school and classes and tests and projects and bills that must be paid and emergencies that must be dealt with immediately.

In such a frenzy of activity, we can only see things right in front of us, and react to stimuli as they happen. We seldom allow ourselves the luxury of taking this third-party, outside viewpoint. We feel we don’t have the time, we are too tired, too exhausted, it’s too hard, we will deal with it tomorrow, any excuse will do.

Yet this is exactly what we must do. It is a critical part of our life, it is perhaps the single most important thing that we can do if we want to escape the treadmill of the rat race. The all too familiar frantic day-to-day scurrying around to work and appointments and school that then dumps us all off unceremoniously at the end of our useful days into the scrap heap of retirement. What should be our golden years.

For most people, one way or another they get through their school years, they decide whether or not to go on to college or take a night or online class or whatever. They gather together subconsciously all the education and life experiences they can, and then they are thrust or driven to form relationships, which together, work and relationships, are really the focal points of a person’s whole life.

The relationships you make in school and work will affect, alter and influence all the things that happen to you in this world, not only in your personal life at home but also in your outside existence as a worker bee.

For example, how many people do you know that are unhappy with their jobs, hate their bosses, despise going to work every day and punching that time clock, but still continue to do it?

They do it out of force of habit, they do it out of economic necessity (after all the rent and bills must be paid), they do it because it is the path of least resistance, but they still do it, and hate every minute of it. They may even bring their misery home and let it affect their family life, further compounding an already bleak situation.

This is sad because what you need to do at some point is to be able to just say STOP! You need to find some time, make some time, and create a quiet zone for just you. Find a safe place around yourselves, inside your head. Then and there you can take a good hard look at your life from the outside, from the viewpoint of the third person. This is a Choice Point.

Once you see the traps you have ensnared yourself in, like being seemingly trapped in a dead-end job with a jackass boss, and/or perhaps a personal relationship that has gone sour, it will be a revelation. Then you must have the inner courage and conviction to consciously break the pattern of helplessness and hopelessness.

Life should be more than just scraping by, living from paycheck to paycheck and sinking ever deeper into consumer credit card debt, and then coming home to a sterile, loveless home life.

I am not saying it is easy, it is perhaps one of the hardest things to do in this society. But once you decide to break with your old habits and patterns and actively seek out and find a job that you truly enjoy, you will be able to look back on your past existence to leave your job as a wage slave as a no-brainer. This will be one of the major Choice Points of your life.

It is not impossible, people do it all the time! Maybe now more than ever before is the time to take those online classes, to get a degree or certificate of proficiency in some profession that you like and is better paying. Maybe now is the time to dust off and polish that old resume and actively seek employment elsewhere, submitting your new improved resume all over town.

Maybe now is the time to call up some of those long lost dropped by the wayside friends and acquaintances from schools or past jobs and let them know that you are looking. It can’t hurt, in fact, you are only hurting yourself by staying in a miserable job you hate, and the benefits far outweigh the risks. The current workplace is shifting toward employee needs more than management dictates today more than ever before.

Let’s face it, America today is a nation of resume padders and job hoppers anyway so why not get on the bandwagon? The old concept of finding a job and staying there for 40 years and getting a gold watch on your retirement day is dead and buried. Corporations today do not feel compelled to give you any loyalty, so why should you give them any back?

The younger generations, Gen Z, or Millennials, scoff at the very idea of a long-term job commitment, preferring to maximize their opportunities through new temporary, more transient job concepts like Uber, Lyft, Doordash, and/or working from home. Many have more than one job.

When they travel they prefer Airbnb apartments rather than traditional hotels or motels. There are exceptions of course, but I am talking here about someone trapped in a traditional, full-time job they hate. Why stay?

It would help immensely if your partner in a relationship backs you up fully in such a crucial, critical manner. In fact, it is almost mandatory. America today is comprised of two-income families, it is the only way to get by economically.

And of course, your partner ideally will want you to better yourself because by maximizing your income potential and making yourself happy, you are also revitalizing the relationship.

But maybe you are trapped in a loveless relationship, and are getting no support, only flak and hassles from your significant other, and can no longer count on their giving you any support at all? Maybe you suspect they are cheating on you?

Then this too is the time to step outside yourself and take a good hard look at your personal relationship from the outside as a third party. If you think it’s fixable, maybe through counseling or just a heart-to-heart talk by all means do that, and pursue every avenue to renew and revitalize your personal relationship.

But if it is already too late, then you must summon the inner emotional courage to break it off and seek a new relationship. This is certainly not uncommon.

People living together often drift apart, then drift away. Married couples in the United States divorce all too frequently, some say nearly half. The success rate for subsequent 2nd or 3rd marriages is even lower. This too will be one of the major Choice Points of your life.

It is difficult, but not impossible to extricate yourself from a job you hate or a spouse who no longer gives you what you need, emotionally, financially, or physically. Sometimes the best thing to do is “Just walk away, Rene,” as the old song goes. It’s your life after all, and you only get one shot at doing it right. No do-overs, no mulligans.

Whatever you do, don’t end up being a complacent slacker, a helpless, hopeless victim of circumstances. You are better than that. There are always choices to be made.

You just need to muster up the inner strength and conviction to examine your particular situation and try the technique of stepping outside of yourself to get a third-person view of your own life situation and what your options truly are.

Your decisions on the critical Choice Points in your life will determine the very fabric and context of your life, for both you and your loved ones. The choices you make now will determine how you end up in life. You just need to get outside of yourself, to take the third person viewpoint to see things clearly.

Sir Issac Newton once said, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.”

Sometimes, not making a choice is the worst choice of all….

You might like…

Choice Points in Life

1

1