Chasing Happiness

I lost it. Lost this joy that made it all worth it. Lost the drive and positivity to make the memories matter more than an end result. Played catch up with so many things, chased the first times and lived through the hard times and what for, to make myself feel less than what I’m not. To understand oneself is to find the joy in life. Pain and struggle are not only temporary but must feel worth it if the joy and happiness is what comes of it.

It was Ging Freecss who said, “You should enjoy the little detours to the fullest. Because that’s where you’ll find the things more important than what you want”. We focused too much on the unknown and the darkness that plagues us that we not only forget what we’re aiming for but lost sight of who we are internally. We add so much weight to the pain and struggles, that we shrink the happiness and trust that we have built not just with others but within ourself. The hardships that seemed to prolong the end that would break a relationship, or the lost of another that not only has us question life but question ourselves.

We succumb to life’s entities and redefine what it means to be happy. When we are happy we also tell ourself that we are not deserving of it. The pain and suffering endured shouldn’t be strong enough to overcome the current happiness but to further provide drive that happiness is achieved anywhere. The things that would make a person happy isn’t an end result but the moments of grandeur and tranquility every event in life. When a journey ends, another begins. Not a cycle but a joyous quest that has completed its mission. No matter the how but what has come from it.

Chasing happiness comes at several costs. The fight and knowledge are what’s needed but it’s the determination with inner endurance to accept what it means to be happy. Understand that happiness means different things to many people. It can mean the same thing to one person every time they find it. Happiness can also be the various forms and resolve with each and every connection that’s made with someone special.

Let’s acknowledge that chasing happiness is also a self realization as well. Chasing happiness within oneself aside from chasing a happiness with someone else is important. Among many others, it was RuPaul who always said at the end of every episode of Drag Race, “If you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else?”. Love and happiness goes hand in hand. While we can always chase happiness, love is already within us. Love is infinite, we always have enough to share and build from. Love for ourselves may seem like the hardest thing but in reality it’s the strongest thing.

We can be plagued with bad models of love and how to share it. With great amounts of pain, trauma and negativity, we learn at an early age that love is those things. It is not. When a foundation is built from unhealthy faculties, the happiness that blooms from it has an expiration date.

Finding happiness is then warped and we become defensive and untrusting when we experience happiness that is healthy. Some resort to self sabotage while some run away because they are undeserving of it. As a result, the relationship ends and we not only lose the chance at what could be future happiness, but burn ourselves to where we are scarred. It then takes a long time to recover. Sometimes we may never heal but we are always able to heal from those ties that bound us.

Chasing Happiness is a never ending journey and love keeps that foundation of happy in tact. Now that we have the scope of how important it is to chase your happiness, don’t forget it. Paint it on a wall, frame it, tattoo it somewhere but don’t forget it. We have to remember, what we want isn’t just reaching the end goal, but to find happiness along the way. Each and every time. So what are you waiting for, go chase your happiness.