Celestial Deadbeat vs. First Amendment Junkie
A deeper reflection of myself and my flaws
Dear First Amendment Junkie:
I've been doing a lot of reflection lately. A deeper look into who I am as a person rather than the labels we all put on ourselves. You know the ones! What is being a woman? Am I too much like a man? Am I too old? Am I too young? Should I be ashamed of the color of my skin? Should I be ashamed of who I love? What about the ways and things I enjoy during sex?
The simple answer is yes and no. Bare with me my dear I promise I am not trying to deep throat you with Jesus. I am starting to believe in life there is indeed light and darkness. A love and chaos. I believe there is an uneven balance between these two. I think the side of science and overindulgence, and let's face it fun, is too much right now. I think that there isn't enough old vynl. I think there isn't enough beauty in the world and the message in music has gotten a bit harder to find. I think we see darkness so much every day that we lose sight of the light.
It is because of this that we have all damned ourselves but not in the traditional sense of heaven and hell. I think we have in the way that we are creating our own hell and blocking our own happiness. This place could be the garden of Eden, but we are making it hell. That's okay though my little agents of chaos, I do see there being a reason behind this too. See we all have choices in this world. You can choose the rockier road; make yourself a little more concerned with science, vanity, and pride and lose yourself in frivolous things. And instead, pick toxic but exciting relationships and live in the drama. Hell, in a way that is what all god or the universe ever wanted for you. They wanted you to have the choice to pick them. To pick the harder road. To not eat the yummy meats we all love, but to live in nature, to be cold sometimes, to look past looks. They want us to choose the more difficult path and trust me my family was built for that.
We always choose the more difficult way regardless of the pain it will inevitably cause us. It's just how we do things being the stubborn little shits we are and all. When I say family I mean blood, but I also mean my friends and even in a way everyone in the world. Every person has felt my pain to some extent or another, they have felt my fear and my triumphs. So therefore you are all me and also all my family. We are all one in our own similarities and uniqueness.
We have spent centuries leaning too far into chaos and then too far into love. Both sides have created wars and their own fallouts. What we need now is a balance. We have opened pandora's box. We cannot go back to the old ways of thinking that love is the only way, and that being pure in every form is the only way. We are all mutts so let's revel in that. Be yourself but don't lose yourself to your chaos and don"t lose yourself to love. Love can be a calm in the storm but remember it can also be the storm. Pick your hard each day but remember to try and balance magic and science, for all of our sakes. I love you my agents of chaos, shine on in this dark world, but do not worry too much my sweets because I won't leave you. I will fight right alongside you. I will damn my own soul to save yours. I will learn to speak in your language so that together we can bring back the balance.
Since I have opened the box and I can't shut it, I might as well show you all of the pretty things the world has to offer you. Since it is possible that we may never go back to a life of living off the land, sharing our food, our services, and our growth with one another, I will stay with you. I will keep one foot in my world and another in yours so that together we can pull back and forth. Me being the big shiny red balloon that pulls you up towards the heavens and you the small happy child holding me down on earth. Don't let me go sweet child. I do not want to see you cry! Hold on to me tight so that together we can bring back beauty to your small world.
I love you always dearest friend.
Celestial Deadbeat
My soul song to you: Float On by Modest Mouse
https://open.spotify.com/track/2lwwrWVKdf3LR9lbbhnr6R?si=74c902c64d8e47f8
About the Creator
Celestial Deadbeat
The simple answer to the question of who am I is this. I am the perfect mixture of love and chaos. The sweet spot between the songs Drops of Jupiter by Train and Eternal Summer by The Strokes. I won't be perfect but it will be a fun ride.
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