Casually dating is like a form of art, tricky and detailed but pleasing to the eye. Every stroke and every stride is delicate and precise. I've talked about casually dating before, but I have never expressed what topics you should discuss while on a casual date, and the topics you should avoid altogether. Like anything else in life, there is a set of guidelines people should follow, so here it is...
- Don't talk about exes: at all cost try and avoid the conversation of exes unless the other person brings it up first, or if both partners involved on the date feel comfortable explaining what went wrong in their past relationships, and why it might have ended. The conversation of exes seems to come up more often the older you get... especially if you had been married, or are still married. It is human nature for the other person to want to understand what happened in your marriage to bring you to separation. It might be rude... or it might even seem like we are fishing for the “bad” in you or the “bad version” of what you might be like in a relationship.
- Do try and be funny: after all, you’re supposed to be having fun... and what's more fun than a little humor now and again? Weirdly enough I just went on a date recently and apparently I was funny... who knew. My point is you don't have to try and be funny... the person you're on the date with might simply just find you funny, and if not... oh well... not everyone is going to find you funny, but do try and make an attempt at some flirtatious humor to ease the awkwardness that usually arrives on a first date.
- Don't lie: if you're lying it will be discovered sooner or later. Just because something sounds good... there is no need to be making up random stories like: you own your house (when in reality you are renting), you haven’t been on a date in months (even though you just recently went on one), or you have a college degree (when you haven’t even finished high school). You need to let the real you shine through... well at least the best parts of you.
- Do try and be yourself: be honest and open about who you are as a person, and what you are looking for in a relationship. Talk about your interests, your job, and hobbies, but make sure to listen to the other person's life as well... after all, you are trying to get to know them as well. Make sure you talk about what you are looking for in a partner... see if they have the same views in life as you do, and even if they don’t... just remember opposites attract, but make sure you pick your battles... if the person doesn’t like the same food as you then who cares?
- Don't bring up kids or marriage: at least on the first date, unless the conversation steers in that direction, then it is fine... but there is a thin line you shouldn't cross when talking about children... like how old you want to be when you finally do have children... you should hold off on this part for a while. Some people may argue and state that children and marriage shouldn’t be brought up at all until there is an actual relationship involving, but why wait? If the person you are seeing has no interest in marriage, but you do, then why continue to work and grow the relationship?
- Do try and switch up with who pays the bill: we live in a modern era after all. It shouldn't be the man paying for the dinner date every single time. What kind of example does that leave to our future generations? That it's alright for women to demand equal rights (which they now have many of), but then demand that the men should pay for the date because they are men, and this is what society has shown us/told us! It sounds a little hypocritical if you ask me, and when it comes to gay men... who do you think should pay? I believe both partners should take turns... and on your first date... battle it out.
- Don't talk about certain topics: such as religion, faith, politics, money, and anything where there could be a possibility for an argument or a heated discussion. People blood seems to boil when they are truly passionate about a certain topic. It is easier to avoid these topics by keeping the date neutral and lighthearted. If your partner does bring up one of these topics and it is making you feel uncomfortable... be honest and explain that you rather not discuss it and switch to another topic as quickly as you can.
- Do allow: the other person to be themselves and share their hopes and dreams. They need to be able to express themselves just as much as you do. By opening up and exploring what the other person might have to offer you might find that you actually have similarities. You might both want to experience the same things in life in the far and near future.