Bruce Willis, Gabby Gifford, and My Daughter have Aphasia

Kari stood in the middle of 32 five-year-old's and commanded attention. As a kindergarten teacher, she lived on a stage daily as she created excitement for learning. She spoke in complete sentences and moved around the room addressing several issues at the same time, multitasking essential in any classroom. Children addressed her as Mrs. Zieglmeier, a mouthful for little mouths. When asked why they didn't just call her Ms. Z, she explained children's minds contain the ability to learn quickly and refused to water down their education. 

At the age of 33, Kari influenced her world until a stroke damaged her brain and left her speechless. 

I found myself watching Kari, learning to walk and talk again just as I had when she was a toddler. And again, hands extended, and breath held, I watched. The process of re-learning basic skills brought pain because it should not be happening. A stroke had no right to invade our lives; it wasn't deserved, ask for, or justified; it couldn't be explained.

After being still and silent, the day Kari sat up in bed provided hope. With a lopsided smile and through hand gestures, she began to communicate. Sometimes we deciphered the meaning but to be honest, often we simply nodded and smiled. I imagine this caused increased frustration because she recognized her inability to make her meaning clear. 

Days later, Kari spoke the word "phone" and then grabbed it from the bedside table. I feared frustration and a potential meltdown but quickly realized her thought processes remained intact as she used redial to call her husband, Dan.

After an abbreviated conversation about their girls, she blew him a kiss. Though an outsider wouldn't have understood, they were in sync. Before hanging up, Kari said, "Love you." It sounded a bit like a scene from Scooby-Doo but the message was clear.

Kari had to relearn her daughter's names. We created a matching game using pictures of love ones that when played allowed her to practice identifying faces and attaching names. 

We began creating a chart of speech therapy activities to practice and incorporated the strategies into daily activities. 

Following four years of rehabilitation, Kari may not be able to speak fluently, but she communicates. Increased process time is required for understanding, for her and others. 

At first, she didn't want to talk. I suppose she resisted because it took time, caused frustration, and led to misunderstandings. Life may be different but she still commands stage as she plays a new role. 

Words become unnecessary when we talk Heart to Heart. This video explain aphasia in a manner that touches the emotions. Because millions suffer with aphasia, it is important that society gains understanding. Heart to Heart shares life with aphasia. Please take a moment to watch it to understand. 

Music by Marc Black. Lyrics by Candy Kugel & Marc Black. This recording is from It's Still Me!", a 17-minute guide for people with aphasia and their loved ones, by Buzzco Associates, NYC. This animated video explains what aphasia is, some basic brain function, how it feels to have aphasia, and demonstrates some ways to communicate without words. It acknowledges that the loss of words is devastating, both for those who have aphasia and for the people around them. More importantly, it also holds out hope for a rich and fulfilling future.

After four years, of rehabilitation, it reminds me that though Kari may not be able to speak fluently, she remains cognitively sound. Increased process time is required for understanding, for her and others, but verbal communication occurs.

Kari lives life to the fullest. She cannot return to work as a kindergarten teacher full time but does volunteer three days a week. When she started working with the students, she created a PowerPoint presentation to share with the children explaining why she has difficulty talking, walking and limited use of her right hand. She loves working with small groups and already is referring to a couple if the kids as "my boys". Their love and support is reciprocal.

Events drains her energy thus require afternoon naps daily but then she begins again revived and ready to greet her own children when they get home from school.

This week news of Bruce Willis struggling with aphasia awakened an interest in this affliction. Those who have suffered a stroke, or know someone who has, already understand the communication difficulties caused by aphasia. However, when a celebrity is effected, people listen. Too often it is assumed speech difficulties are a sign of cognitive ability - an untrue assumption. Let's use this time to learn and understand. 

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Learn more about aphasia and follow Kari's journey; read these articles.

• Asking for Help is Difficult but It is Harder to Survive Alone
• Make it Happen With a Can-Do Attitude
• After a Stroke, My Daughter Found Wholeness by Giving to Others
• When It Feels Like You May Drown, Just Keep Swimming
• A Survival Strategy for Trauma: Laugh
• Success in Life Requires Learning to Take One Step at a Time