Boundaries Are Your Passport to Freedom.

Being a kid is awesome and very unappreciated. Being adult? Sucks.

Homework may be off your plate, but the life baggage keeps on growing. The more you carry on your shoulders, the less capacity you have to juggle your life.

When you are a kid, your parents are hardwired to keep you safe. They make rules and adjust your limits.

When you are older, you are in charge of setting your own boundaries.

And boundaries are the passport to freedom. One of the healthiest things you can do for yourself is set fixed standards for how you want to live.

Knowing who you are and the lengths you are willing to climb makes for a simple yet abundant life.

Beware of the dead zone.

A lack of boundaries is like a comfort zone. It may appear nice and safe as you tiptoe around for fear of offending people. But in the long term, it is lethal.

People-pleasing does not bring security. It promotes your anxiety and shatters your dreams.

Think about your professional life.

You understand what your job description entails and in what areas you can jump over the fence, maximizing your chances of promotion. But you also know what territory is out of bounds. Identifying your duties makes you focus on your goal.

The same applies to other aspects of life.

When you know your limits and are vocal about them, you feel at peace, and ready to tackle whatever comes your way. You know your path.

Lingering in between is a heavy drag on happiness. Choose your priorities. Aim high and don’t settle beneath the rank.

Indecisiveness is your dead zone.

People admire those who set boundaries. Confidence is attractive.

What do confident and decisive people have in common?

#1. They don’t play nice.

Do you want to continue the relationship with that person? “Well, …they are all right,” you might answer.

Do you linger at your old job? “Well, … it seems nice. And safe. I hate Mondays and end up waiting for the weekend to start living, but I guess most people get by in the same limbo”.

People who set their priorities straight don’t dwell on these kinds of questions. Fun or nice is no longer good enough.

How many times have you started a relationship because the other person was nice? How often do you go out because you have no better options? It smells like settling.

Nice will get you nowhere special. And damn it, you are special.

You have one life. It goes by fast. Don’t waste it on tolerating what drains you. We are spending too much emotional currency on things that are making us miserable.

Your new mantra: I deserve the best this life has to offer.

#2. They don’t feel sorry.

What other people endure may not be your standards. And it is okay.

Confident people set their own bar. Higher than most.

Just because people eat fast-food daily doesn’t mean you have to drag down your health along with them.

Just because others are loud on social media doesn’t mean you have to blast selfies all over the feed if you enjoy your private scene.

Stop apologizing for knowing what you want or who you are.

Saying no to things that kill your vibes makes for an exceptional life. After all, happiness is not all about adding more to your plate, but knowing when to walk away.

Your new mantra: I allow myself to choose the path less travelled.

#3. They determine trends.

I bet you know the feeling when clothes not only suit your body type but your character as well.

I bet you also recognize the pressure of spending money to fit into a craze you don’t even fancy.

The fashion business thrives on people’s insecurities.

It is about time you satisfy your tastes.

Establish clear-cut boundaries about what makes you comfortable. No matter what the street dictates. If you feel like rocking that dress, go for it.

When you chase the approval of others, you betray yourself.

People who know their boundaries don’t seek the spotlight. They don’t live off validation.

When you curb the appetite for approval, you discover a new level of freedom. You can achieve it by chasing the rejection. And with freedom comes creativity.

Your new mantra: I am creative and free to express myself.

#4. They are self-sustained.

If you want to simplify your life, dial down the noise of other people's expectations. They hold you back and hinder your growth.

Embracing alone time is crucial for our well-being and productivity. Riding comfortably solo is an art — a valuable fit making your life easier.

When you mute the chaos, you tap into your intuition. It guides you towards what feels best without seeking popular opinion.

The thought of spending an evening alone with your thoughts and emotions may sting. But it also shapes your character.

You don’t need opinions of a dozen. You only need one. The feeling in your gut that whispers: go for it.

Roaming a unique path is the hallmark of resourceful people.

Your new mantra: I am empowered to navigate life on my conditions.

#5. They are picky about people.

It is hard to break free of the mesmerization that we need to please others to get along. Yet, our mental health is at stake.

People who prioritize emotional wellbeing are not desperate for attention. They become selective about it.

When you know what food causes your allergy, you avoid it. Why wouldn’t you apply the rule to people who do not serve your growth?

You will always benefit from boundaries, whether in your sex life, romantic one, health or professional area. The only people who oppose boundaries are the ones who benefit from you not having them in the first place.

We have a giant prefrontal cortex that permits assessing those attachments and prioritising relationships that serve us. It is an incredible asset we take for granted.

Cutting out dead weeds from your garden gives you space. When you prune toxic relationships out of your life, you make room for yourself. You grow. Better, you thrive.

An important one: set boundaries with your family. They know which buttons to push. After all, they are the ones who created them and wrote the manual.

Letting go of people, material clutter and memories are not a luxurious type of therapy. It is a necessity.

Your new mantra: I walk away from anything and anyone that suffocates my growth.

Find your compass.

When you know what you want, you discover who you are. And knowing yourself is the key to navigating life effortlessly.

Setting boundaries may scare the shit out of you. After all, you want to be approved and liked. It makes us human.

Still, boundaries are cool. You get to decide what you accept and what you ruthlessly despise.

Boundaries do not create limits. They give you freedom.

Let the rules you carry make you proud.

With love,

Kate.