Being tall and featuring on didn't get me a girlfriend!

I'm also quite good looking

Being tall and featuring on didn't get me a girlfriend!
I'm the knock off Jon Snow at the back, holding a glass.

First of all, I'm aware that the title is, possibly, the most childish thing on the Internet. Secondly, I have been on TV more than once!

Let's go to the time I got my first crush, 2012, before I was good looking, and on TV. I was 12, and I looked like my grandma. No, I wasn't wrinkly, just chubby, and wore glasses (I still do, but I prefer my contact lenses). My only redeemable feature was being tall, but that obviously didn't get me a girlfriend back then, because I was shy, real shy. You could put a gun to my head, and I would apologise for causing a disturbance, before even considering begging for my life. That girl left the school after that year, but the next year, another good looking girl joined. I was more chatty now, and we became friends, but she was taken, so not much happened.

In 2014, I went to another school, and stuff started to get interesting now! There was this girl, who was quite chatty with me, but I felt shy (once again), because this school was relatively posh, and I wasn't posh at all, just a grandma-looking nerd. This chatty girl, one day, just asked me, in front of everyone: "do you want to be my boyfriend?" I just said "what?" and left the scene, sweating more than a hooker in a church. Later on that day, I sent her a text that read: "Sorry, it was the first time I got asked out, but yes, I want to be your boyfriend", to which she replied "erm... that was a joke". That made sense, you see, because it was just a couple of weeks after school started. I obviously started looking for another girl, and this one was also very good looking, but I was shy a.f. with this one. One day, the teacher put me and this girl together in a group project, I was so thankful, but damn, it was quieter than a dead mute person. I think the only time we spoke was because she needed a pen.

Real progress showed on the upcoming year 2015. There was this girl, who wasn't that good looking, but she was kind to me, and me being the loner I was, I got feelings for her, and boy, that was a mistake. I started asking her out, and stuff was going great, until one day she said she was taken. That was possibly the first time I got my heart broken. Anyways, we stayed friends, but in my birthday party, in a truth or dare challenge, I ended up revealing that I had a crush on her, and some asshole there told the whole class. I thought to myself "damn, I'm screwed", but I wasn't, I believe everyone was being kind to me, cheering me to get her to be my girl, but that obviously didn't happen. To make things worse, she got a matching tattoo with her boyfriend, that did add pain to my injury.

The beginning of the end, 2016, my "dating" life was getting more saucy. I got over the the "2015 girl" with a boyfriend, and had some arguments, and I ended up revealing that her boyfriend was her 22 year old cousin. So well, I was the "savage" of the year, but I had guilt. In a party, I met a pretty girl, let's call her "party girl". I got her number. We planned a date, but it ended up in me buying her ice cream and walking her to the bus stop. I tried to kiss her, but that obviously didn't happen. After a while, 2015 girl broke up with her pedo-incest lover, and I got interested again. I managed to kiss her once for 2 seconds, and I felt unstoppable. But shortly after that she became real mean, but anyways, I proposed! You might have guessed what happened... I'm still single and in pain, but in another party I met another girl, let's call her... erm... Party girl 2 and stuff went well. I told my best friend at the time about that, and he said that we should arrange a double date! Problem is, my homie's date didn't show up, so we would have to share the same girl. No, we didn't have a threesome. I think the girl preferred me though, because my mate told me that she didn't want to go out with him, and well, we were still texting. Party girl makes a return, kinda, I finally decided to text her on why she never answered my text I sent 3 months ago, and she told me i WaS bUsY! I said I didn't believe her, and she said: "If you weren't an idiot, you'd have a girlfriend". A friend in common told me that Party girl thought I was drunk in the party we met, so when she found out I was sober in both the party and the date, she decided to never see me again.

End of year was approaching, and I didn't have a date for the Prom, so I asked out Party girl 2. She said that I had to go and pick her up, but I said my dad didn't have a car. We didn't speak after that. I had to go to my last resource: The hoe. "The hoe" was the daughter of a friend of my mother. "The hoe" would tell stories of which guys she slept with. "The hoe" was proud of being the hoe. I was desperate, so I asked her out to the prom. She said yes, and I regret that. It was going alright, until another guy asked her out to dance, and she said yes. Understandable, since she didn't want to dance with me. They later locked themselves in the loo. And me being drunk, I waited for her to finish business, and then got her a cad. We kissed, and man, I'm happy I don't have AIDS, or herpes. I'm remembered as the cuck of the class of 2016.

It's almost time for me to come to England, 2017, the year where everything changes, I wasn't sure what to study, so I devoted myself to work. However, before I got here, I found out that 2015 girl had a kid with a guy she didn't like (what the fuck, seriously). I made the math, and turns out I kissed a pregnant girl. Anyways, I finally got to England I didn't have time to meet girls, or had a car, and living in the UK countryside, that's tough. I saw, possibly, the most beautiful girl I ever saw in my life so far. Eyes blue as the ocean, and hair red as fire. I never believed myself to be the poet type, but love changes people. She was chatty with me, and that made me fall madly in love. It took me almost a whole year since I met her to ask her out, and she was taken. 2018 wasn't a great year. Heartbroken again, I determined to change my look. Got a goatee, and longer hair, and I started to look like a knock off Jon Snow/Jesus. I was turning heads in the streets!

My worst year, 2018, was almost over, but it was going to change. I got more hours in the store I work at, and got my driver's license. Anyways, I met this stunning girl, who was a usual customer. Chatty and good looking, that's enough to make me fall in love. Around Christmas time, I gave a Christmas card, with my number in it. She was taken. I know, I sound like a broken record. After that, in a store I went in to get some presents, I got greeted by this pretty girl, who, once again, was chatty and good looking. We spoke for a while and I gave her my number, and boy, I was so happy she actually sent me a text!!!!

The date went pretty well, we had some things in common, I thought that, finally, I met the one, until she said she was seeing 2 other guys, but was nothing serious... We would text almost everyday, I called her baby, she called me hun, I thought stuff was getting serious, and that she would leave those guys for me. 2019 came by, second date came by, a week before Valentine's, I asked her out for Valentine's, but nope, she was expecting one of the guys to take her out, and to quote her: "the other guy is going on holiday with me, and I don't want to make things weird". That same date she told me how well she did on Tinder, and man, I lost count how many times my heart got broken. Turns out she didn't go out with guy number 1 on Valentine's, so I believe she had a crush on someone who didn't like her back, and also, she was going soon to a fuckfest, so I decided to say goodbye: "Let me know when you're back, and we go get a coffee". I was sure that she wasn't going to text me back, but she did! And told me she went swimming!! And a picture of her in a swimsuit!!!

I thought I finally scored!!! That's the closest I got to a nude so far. Anyways, in this last date, she told me that fuckfest guy (or guy number 2 if we want to be polite) wasn't with her anymore, so I though it was a hint, but nope, I think she thought I was gay, because her gay friend "unexpectedly" sat with us at the cafeteria, and she would say often how many things me and the gay friend had in common. I also told her I was 19, to which she replied "I thought you were 25". I tried to make out with her, but, once again, guess what happened! "Sorry, I'm going through a lot right now, and I'm not looking for a relationship at the moment, I just need friends, like you". I was going to believe her, but after a few weeks, she started to upload plenty of pictures with an some guy, and, with the experience I had, that meant, my race was ran. She got in a serious relationship with the guy, but on the bright side, I got in Made in Chelsea as an extra!!! I met a lot of girls there, but... I won't tell a story about each one, I'll just say I never got to hang out with any of them.

I thought it was finally time to give a try to online dating, and well, I got plenty of matches in Tinder, but I would get blocked as soon as I said something. I tried other sites, and in total, I could get 2 decent conversations in total, but never managed to go on a date. The year is almost over, the reunion with my high school crush didn't go as planned (I'm not telling which girl) but, in a store, the girl serving knew a bit of Spanish, and said that she wanted some lessons. I obviously gave her my number, saying I do lessons, which, at the time, was true. I never got a call, but every time I went to the store, she would greet me in Spanish, but I got irritated, and moved on.

This year, 2020, is not going well, and I believe I got my worst rejection yet. In my town, there is this goth girl, who I believed was a lesbian, but after I started speaking with her (I speak with everyone, my gift, and my curse), she stopped looking like a lesbian. She started to grow her hair, and would use tight jeans, or shorts, or skirts, no more baggy lesbian trousers. Also, she would use cleavage, even on cold days, and man, I had a couple of reasons to like her. We became friends on Facebook, and would chat a bit when she came to the store I work at. When the time came to ask her out, I got this reply: "I cannot go out, and I should tell you, I'm Ace". If you don't know what that means, like I did, it means asexual. So basically, I wasn't so wrong thinking she didn't like boys, she didn't like anything at all.

All in all, maybe I am a terrible person, and that's why I'm single. I just know that I've been rejected an average of 30 times. Funny, because some people I know comment on how many girls I must be getting. So yeah, to all short guys and average looking guys, don't envy us tall guys, you won't get girls just because of being tall. Average looking guys, don't envy good looking guys, most are gay. I have yet to find out why girls don't like me. Maybe because I'm writing this instead of going on dates, maybe because I'm a pain in the butt.

Read next: 'Chocolate Kisses'
Leonardo Buesst
See all posts by Leonardo Buesst