Humans logo

Being Lovers and Co-Workers at the Same Time

An Advantage or a Disadvantage for the Couple’s Relationship?

By Jerry JacobsonPublished 2 years ago 5 min read
Like
Being Lovers and Co-Workers at the Same Time
Photo by Travis Grossen on Unsplash

Is being a loved one and co-workers at the same time an advantage or a disadvantage for the couple's relationship? Here's an interesting question! Initially, you might say, "What's wrong with not only spending your life together but working side by side?" You would spend every moment with your loved one! For some, it sounds like a dream come true, for others it's like a horrible nightmare!

But let's see in detail what could happen if you are both lovers and co-workers at the same time! First of all, there may be various competition situations between you: wanting to show how good you are, you can fall into the trap, in the competition game, and this can affect the relationship at home!

Initially, you may want to show how good you are to be admired and impressed by your partner, but in the end, you will want to show them that you are better and how lucky they are to have you! Especially women can get carried away and want to prove that the matter with the superiority of the man is a donut, they can approach an unfair competition and start enjoying the victory!

But a harmonious couple presupposes an equal partnership, and an adequate professional relationship presupposes fair competition, but also cooperation!

Being loved and colleagues thus imply a first difficulty regarding who is better. For two partners who are equally proud, ambitious, and for whom professional advancement is important in their self-image, this situation is worsened.

For two extremely proud partners, even the situation of working in the same field (medical, technological, teaching, accounting) is a disadvantage, because they can compete who has more achievements, who has a higher salary, who has a higher prestige. Various theoretical quarrels can also arise: whose perspective, whose theory, whose method is more efficient!

Therefore, many harmonious couples are made up of partners rather than partners: the only similarity is the socio-economic and academic level of the partners' profession - people tend to connect with people from the same social background and the same level of education and training. . Instead, the domains are often different.

Another difficulty posed by the situation of being loved and co-workers is the inevitability of embarrassing or annoying situations! First of all, your partner can advance professionally, while you remain in the same hierarchical position - which can cause tension and frustration! It will be hard to celebrate his/her advancement in two when you wonder why he/she was chosen and not you!

Another embarrassing situation: when one of the partners, relying on the extra-professional relationship, asks for too many favors and help in the other's business. Example: "I cleaned yesterday, I'm tired, please finish my report"!

This situation cannot last long until the one who works extra helping his partner does not give in and reproaches them - and from here, one can easily reach an extended quarrel over household chores, which of course one does more. often than another! So, only from this point of view would you be better off taking steps to be both lovers and colleagues!

What else can happen? When there is a situation of violation of a rule or failure to perform a task, the partner in the deadlock may face the other as a witness.

Can the boss of both of them ask him to tell the truth - for example: "is it true that X did not hand over the data on time because he had a car accident"? Or: "Is it true that Client X didn't show up for the noon office meeting"? Then, what will he/she choose: to tell the truth, thus respecting the professional code of ethics and thus "burying" his partner, or to lie for his sake and to violate morality and ethics? In any case, tensions arise, either related to the lack of support or related to involvement in an embarrassing situation!

But perhaps the most problematic thing about being loved and coworkers at the same time is the difficulty of maintaining two different sets of attitudes toward the same person - you are loved, but at work, you have to behave like two coworkers.

Thus, a relationship bifurcates into two types of relationships! It is not at all professional to behave like two lovers in a work environment: you can disturb other colleagues and cause tension. You can't go into the office and passionately kiss your girlfriend/boyfriend and you can't address her "darling/love/kitten/bunny"! Thus, you will have to separate your attitude and the way you react at home from those at work - which is quite difficult.

Do you love your co-workers at the same time? Wonderful, so you spend day by day, hour by hour, moment by moment together! But is it wonderful? At some point, there will inevitably be an oversaturation of stimuli and the need for a break!

Even love needs rest! It is a well-known fact that a successful relationship requires periods of closeness alternating with short periods of separation, of physical distance between partners. A relationship needs to breathe, and short periods of rest (such as normal hours spent at work) strengthen the attraction to the partner!

When your partner says he needs a little time and space for himself, it doesn't mean he doesn't love you anymore - it's the sincere expression of a natural need.

So, even if at first it may seem attractive and funny, there are too many obstacles and difficulties involved in the situation of being loved and co-workers!

Thus, if you have a harmonious couple and the same field of activity, it is healthier and better for the relationship to look for jobs at different institutions. And if that's not possible, at least try to work in different departments - and if that's not possible, never work together on the same project!

Conversely, if you do not have a partner and you are attracted to a colleague, it is better to avoid entering a difficult situation! It is not for nothing that many institutions include in their code of ethics the prohibition of intimate relations between colleagues - this situation damages both the relationship between the two and the atmosphere in the office, the productivity of the two, and therefore the institution.

So: never start a relationship with a colleague, because you can rarely maintain your relationship and professional relationship!

Finally, what can be said? Although some may retaliate and say that in their case being loved and not hurting their colleagues has done them no harm, it is best to follow regularities and general laws - and they make it clear that this is not exactly the case. favorable to a harmonious and happy relationship of the couple!

Even if you are so mature, responsible, and down-to-earth that you do not compete or embarrass each other and follow the rules of a professional relationship, constant closeness can damage your relationship, drastically diminishing your attraction over time. desire, passion, and enjoyment of time spent together.

advice
Like

About the Creator

Reader insights

Be the first to share your insights about this piece.

How does it work?

Add your insights

Comments

There are no comments for this story

Be the first to respond and start the conversation.

Sign in to comment

    Find us on social media

    Miscellaneous links

    • Explore
    • Contact
    • Privacy Policy
    • Terms of Use
    • Support

    © 2024 Creatd, Inc. All Rights Reserved.