Avatars & The Virtual World

The Old Way

Have you ever used dating sites like MeetMe, Plenty Of Fish, OkCupid, Tinder, or any of the other plentiful sites and apps that exist for dating purposes solely? If you have, then either you've struck gold and found the unicorn in the pile of fake profiles, liars, and people there for a simple lay, or you're like millions of others who have given it your best shot and are now too tired to bother trying with any of them.

The biggest problem with them is that from the starting line, it's about selling yourself and let's be honest, if we were half as perfect as we want our partners to be, we wouldn't have needed a dating site/app in the first place. So smile for the camera, find the perfect angle, the best filter, maybe even apply a little more makeup than you regularly do. Because the first thing they are going to judge, is your main profile picture. Every other picture, every other word you put into your profile trying to describe yourself the best you can doesn't matter if they skip past that very first picture they see. From the start, you're judged by your hair, your eyes, your nose, your mouth, and anything else they can see in that picture. It isn't fair really, but that's the reality.

What happens if you pass the first test? Then comes your about me section. They are going to scrutinize every sentence you typed, even if you were trying to be humorous and joke around about something, tone does not properly translate through text 100% of the time. They're going to read it like you were dead set on everything you typed in it and will they ask questions to clarify something you mentioned? Probably not, you're struck out already if they begin questioning it.

Then by some miracle you pass tests one and two. Now it's onto the first message, are they a bot, a douche bag, someone who just wants an easy lay, or someone genuine, pick up that inbox and play a little roulette!

Now onto the flip side, you're scrolling through multiple profiles, you spot a few that catch your eye. They look alright, their profiles are pretty bare though, only having a couple sentences about themselves and not much room to start a conversation. Now do you fly into the inbox trying to garner a conversation from what little you could find out about them in their about me sections, do you try your luck with cracking a joke, do you try to find out about something they didn't mention, or are you just gonna open up with a Joey line and say: "Hey, how you doin'?". Wrong opener could have you stuck with no reply and a bit frustrated that you can't even get to know them on a basic level first.

But that's the problem with these dating apps/sites, they're there to let you judge a book by its cover and summary. You have no way of knowing if they'll even log in again, see your message with perhaps dozens flooding them every other day, or whether they looked at your profile and decided they had zero interest in starting a conversation. This will not bother you for the first few days or perhaps even weeks. But then it'll drag on and on and on. You'll begin to question whether you look good enough, or your about me is interesting enough to engage a basic level of conversation with. You'll think you're doing something wrong, when it's not your fault. These sites and apps are flooded with bots and people looking for a quick lay, that by the time you reach out to anyone, they've had enough, and eventually you'll be fed up too that when someone tries to contact you, you'll either be already gone or simply will not notice.

The New(ish) Era

So what could possibly replace these sites and apps so people can have some real connections? The truth is the software has already been out there for a while and the future technological advancements will only further improve it.

Looking back at the old dating sites/apps we see it's the same thing, judge by pictures, about section, and opener, and hope the person even still logs in.

But then we look at apps like IMVU, Second Life, and now VR Chat. All three of them share a few common things. They're all based around an online avatar, allowing you to interact with a virtual environment while talking to other people in real time. While some of the conversations begin the same as a dating site/app, it's all live and the people are online at that moment, so it doesn't take hours or days to get into a proper conversation. Meanwhile they completely eliminate the judgement of someone's appearance and their about me section isn't the first thing you read.

This virtual environment allows people to be who they want to be and feel secure about opening up about themselves. There's no photo of them that can be traced back to them irl (in real life), so they do not need to hide what they're interested in or what they're even there for.

Many use the virtual chat software to date, and many relationships have successfully been formed through them. (I have met a few of my past exes through using them). However, people also use them to simply roleplay, or meet new friends from around the world with common interests. The applications allow public rooms where people congregate to and can be themed around a specific interest to bring people together who share those interests. There are gaming clubs, virtual bars, some adult only rated material, as well as community groups on a variety of topics.

However you choose to use the virtual applications, you are free to be you, you can be open about what you want, and you can manage to have real conversations every single night with people who are online with you. You can even keep things on them separate from your real life.

Some of the biggest communities on these virtual chat applications range from furries to LGBT+, from online virtual families to lifestyle BDSM members. Whether you're looking for something long term or short, or simply there to make friends with people who are like you, in the virtual sphere, the possibilities are literally endless.

The Future

So what do both of them have to tell us about the future of dating and connecting with human beings as well as where future technology and applications could be heading? The answer is rather simple. A picture and a paragraph are not enough to judge someone by. People do not want to know the mask others wear in public, they want to know what lies beneath. An avatar allows them to express their inner vision of themselves, while they can feel free to be themselves in a virtual world.

As virtual reality continues to progress, more intricate virtual worlds will be created, allowing people to interact and learn about each other on a whole other level that is not limited by real life circumstance. While the dating aspect will improve, so will bonds of friendship and the quality of life for people who are terminally ill or are critically injured.

We can create a virtual classroom for education, a meeting space for clubs and team members of a workforce. The list goes on. This is the future of not just dating applications, but social ones as well.