Are You Okay?

The most asked question I have been getting recently is now, to me at least, the most annoying question in existence.

Are you okay?

Literally the worst question to ever be asked in history. I mean we really have no good way to answer. It will never matter in the long run because the person who asked the question will make a biased assumption based on how much they think they know you as a person and act accordingly.

All of the information is biased because we are dealing with the unknown variables of people who are assuming an emotion on us and because they are so sure they automatically think we are defensive in sighing and saying something along the lines of "why do you automatically think that something is wrong if I just sigh as I sit" or "why do people think I am mad just because I want to have silence."

Or in some cases they worry because they think we are trying to cover up hurt and then they look at us with sympathy in their eyes. Sometimes that response alone actually gets me upset because (1) they don't believe me and (2) because I hate being looked at with sympathy.

Then at that point it doesn't even matter if I was not upset or annoyed because now I am and they know it but they think it is because it is repressed. Not only do they keep looking at me and asking if I want to talk, they also keep asking more and more frequently.

Even when I feel like I am joyful and laughing they ask with a deeper look in their eye and a knowing look to others in the room. My head shakes and my mouth forms a smile but my mind suddenly overthinks. I think to myself 'are you kidding me? I WAS doing okay!'

Now not so much.

I then refuse to answer because I know I cannot lie and my face will give away the frustration. They may perceive it as me wanting to talk or not being okay and while their friendship and persistence is admirable it is just not something I need. I feel as if they think that specific response will only prove their point and they will push to talk later and not believe me until I speak. By that point I do feel like ranting about whatever and that of course only boosts their assumption that I was bothered.

Though in the moment they asked I was not it just cancels out because they think it was a built up emotion that was brewing. When in reality it is just the annoyance of people staring at me which then leads to me thinking about things that were previously not on my mind and wanting to rant it out. Either way they feel as if they were proven right and I just have no way of winning.

It is frustrating because I know that in whatever way people perceive me I cannot change. If they do not believe my word as truth then I cannot change that. I always believed there to be a certain way that people responded that allowed whoever was around to perceive what is truth and what the individual being asked just wanted to keep to themselves. I guess that was just a personal observation that I assumed everyone saw (which is ironic given the subject of the article).

Sometimes they do not want to be asked. Sometimes they don't want everyone to look as if they are broken. Sometimes they don't want the attention, but does that translate to others? Nope. If so they do not seem to register.

Thus more frustration.

Sometimes all you want is to hang out with friends and just enjoy life without the reminder of any underlying issues that can be there. To just be human for an hour, vent if you need to, and be fine an hour later. Sometimes all you want is to not dwell on the matter and discuss everything with a fine-toothed comb.

Then there are other times, most of the time, where you are telling the truth. Hey isn't that a concept! Maybe you are fine and want to just be in the moment. Be happy with others around you and enjoy the feeling of peace and joy that can come over you.

I can guarantee there may be people who read this that see this as a cry for help as well. I have learned to accept that. I am truthfully just here out of a frustration for a question that is biased against the individual that it should be helping. At least in some scenarios.

Granted this question has shown that people truly care and their persistence with the question shows that they are not just going to accept a 'fine' as an answer. That is refreshing and encouraging. It not only shows they care but you feel valued as a person and that your opinion at least to one person truly matters.

I do not know what the point of this article is for me: venting, explaining, possible reaching out to others who may or may not feel the same. I'm guessing a combination of all three. I hope that it was helpful, relatable, or at the very least, entertaining for you.

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