Are We Really 'Just Friends'? (Part 2)

Facing the fire on the beach later on was not something I saw myself doing. After the horrible moment in the resteraunt where I had a mini break down with my friend in the bathroom we returned to our seats.

I asked what the hell was wrong with everyone and all I got was curt looks from the boys and a sad look from Chloe. I decided now would be a good time to throw up.

Before I could even turn, Liana took me by the arm, told Chloe to meet us outside and gave the boys a glare that could kill. Both seemed to get smaller in the seats in the wake of it. Could not blame them.

"Since everyone is deciding that they are going to be stupid, I want you two to eat and cool off," she commanded the two boys who were huddling further in their chairs. "We," she said with a finger pointed at us girls who were all now standing,"will be going shopping and a potential treat since I did not get to eat any food. We will meet in two hours."

The boys started to say something but before anyone could Chloe charged in with a, "and if you boys meet us before then I will personally deal with you."

She was slight of frame but she had cracked many a boy in a not so pleasant-area who were larger and stronger than them.

"Okay," both mumbled out.

"Alright let's go," Liana said looping her arm in mine while Chloe did the same to my other side.

"Alright what happened in there?" Chloe asked Liana and I as soon as we stepped out the door.

"Travis tried to be flirty in private and now she is freaking out and noticing what we have both known for a good year," Liana helpfully explained in a summary.

"Woah," Chloe said by way of reaction.

"Wait, a year!" I respond in astonishment.

They both give me a side eye as if I should have figured this out sooner. Maybe I should have. I was not the brightest when it comes to hints that

guys like me.

"So what are you going to do about it?" Chloe, ever the one to get to the point, asks.

"I have no idea," I answer with a sigh and shake of the head.

"You need to talk to him," Liana said with a no-nonsense look about her. Chloe nodded her head in agreement.

"I told him that in the restaurant," I say pulling out my phone.

They both looked over the screen and read it. Both gasped and looked to each other before looking back at me.

"That is why he scooted closer to Liana," Chloe whispered not at all shocked.

"Yeah," I say swallowing a lump of hurt.

Both girls give me a sympathetic look as we continue to walk down the way. I do my best to ignore them and look for a place to shop. It would not only look more convincing for the boys but I have not gotten to go shopping for myself in over 3 months and I need this.

"What are you hoping his answer will be?" Chloe asks me again not bothering about beating around the bush.

"Well we both know we can only be 'just friends'," I answer.

"Says who," both respond in tandem.

I do not answer and they do not expect me to. At that point I was saved by them finding a Barnes and Noble. They personally did not care one way or another about a bookstore, but they were willing to tolerate it so I could get my mind off of Travis.

This was what I loved them for. This is what I needed.

This was where we stayed for a good long while and where we decided to meet the boys after going to the cafe and getting some food.

"Why am I not surprised?" was the first thing out of Jonathan's mouth.

I threw a dirty napkin at him and he tried to take my coffee. He sped walked away and I gave chase. Surprisingly no one stopped us, rather they seemed to watch on with an amused chuckle.

Finally I caught up to him in the dvd section and got it back. He laughed as we walked back to our friends.

"So what college have you chosen?" he asks casually falling into step with me.

"Point Loma," I answer proudly. "You?"

"Same, at least for the first two years and hopefully could transfer to a better university with my studies."

"Smart," I respond.

And it was. I admired his outlook on life as a whole. He had his life together, but he never took it too seriously. He would be the one that would always encourage me to live in the moment. Was it any wonder that he was my first kiss?

He was also a first love interest and one that I had never really gotten over either. He and I met in 5th grade and had our first kiss in the 6th. I transferred to another school in junior high and met Travis there. Travis was the person in whom I could trust the most and had trusted with some of what Jonathan and I were to each other. Never the whole.

How could I?

Jonathan was one in whom I hoped I would always have a friend. We started dating halfway through my seventh grade year. We were inseparable into our sophomore year. There was a new wave of girls that came in that year and of course petty jealousy would be the thing that would try to tear us apart.

That was not the final straw. There was more in what he said and how he acted. I could not pretend to ignore the hurt that it caused me. We ended shortly thereafter. Travis and I started talking more and he told me that he would have asked me out before if I had not been with Jonathan.

He respected our relationship too much to hurt me. Jonathan seemed to move onto more girls and I could not allow Travis to be ruined by me. He did not deserve a girl who would just use that relationship to get over an ex. So I dated others instead. None of them helped heal the hurt.

I would talk to Travis and he would always be there. He would stick up for me in any situation and got defensive when Jonathan would try to pull something that could be considered even remotely rude when we all hung out. I thought Jonathan was done. I thought I was. He and I had both moved on or so I thought.

One of the biggest problems I saw in the relationship was that he always wanted to leave.

I would ask him, if you hate it here, why stay?

He would tell me he had some compelling reasons and then never ventured further. I told him that if he was unable to be honest with me than he at least deserved to be honest with himself. It was that night I broke up with him.

That next morning he told the whole school that he had dumped me and then proceeded to be asked out by a cheerleader. It would have rubbed salt on the wound if he had said yes. Though I often wondered many times thereafter why he didn't.

I look at him now and I see the boy who was my first love become a man.

"For you as well," he says looking at me.

I look at him and for a moment I want to kiss him again. Make sure that I did not make a mistake. Make sure that for once I was something that was worth sticking around for. I mean what was it that was still keeping him in California when it was anywhere else he wanted to be. He applied to my school, the one I have been dreaming of since birth, and made a point to tell me.

I wanted him to tell me it was for me.

That was not going to happen. If it was I would not let it. I was trying to deal with the fact that I wanted to like Travis more than Jonathan because I was afraid of what my love for Jonathan would turn into.

I was afraid that he would leave. Just like everyone else in my life had.

"Jasmine," he said softly but I decided to turn on my heel in that moment and make a beeline for our friends.

I did not even think before I called out a "hey," as I went to sit down. All of them looked to each other as if they had just been caught drinking my coffee.

There was one time one of them tried and I nearly tore them in half before they bought me a whole new one. Not my proudest moment but it got the desired result.

NO ONE touched my coffee.

"Everything okay?" I ask scooting my chair slightly closer to Travis instead of Jonathan.

"Yeah," Travis seemingly answered for all of them.

The girls stayed silent. Jonathan was tense. I tried not to breathe. This was not the stress-free hang out day before we all had to leave that I imagined. Thankfully we had a few more months, but family and outside relations were coming and that would make just hanging out that much harder.

We all ended the day on the beach with a photo and all turned to go. Travis touched my shoulder and brought me into a hug. That was weird but I decided to go with it.

He leaned closer to my ear and whispered, "I will pick you up later tonight for us to talk."

I just nodded dumbly.

This needed to happen. I needed to know.

Did I want to be right?

There was no good answer to that. Either way I went I would be thinking about how that may affect Jonathan and I could not do that to him. Then again he went out with many girls since then and while not going all the way was not shy about going into detail about the make-out sessions.

When that happened I would have to excuse myself. I would come back to the table with the boys in an argument and the girls looking to me to see if I wanted to leave. I always said no, but wanted to say yes.

Either way tonight I would get my answers. Tonight would be the night where we ended this tension once and for all. Who knows, I might finally decide how this should end.

I also knew then that I was not completely over Jonathan and I might never be and Travis deserve so much more than that, but I also knew he deserved to have that choice.

Next will come part 3 with a new perspective and continuation. More questions about Travis and Jonathan will be answered as well as a long-awaited romance.

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