Are All Geminis this Complicated?

When I found out I was pregnant in September and due in June, I remember crossing my fingers and saying, "Oh, please let this baby be born under Cancer instead of Gemini. I can handle a Cancer zodiac sign, but a Gemini I'm not so sure about. I'll love this baby no matter what, but this could make things difficult. What if we don't get along when they're older? How am I going to raise them without them hating me?" The double-sided nature I had witnessed of the Gemini firsthand in many of my relatives, co-workers, love interests, and supervisors had never gone well for me. It was the sign I wanted to love but seemed to always hurt me. I hated that I jumped to those conclusions and felt that way. I did not want to stereotype, and I certainly didn't want to feel the same pain I felt with others with my child. It sounds crazy, and it is. After all, can the time someone is born really matter that much to their personality and interactions with others? I didn't want to believe so, but my early experiences had unfortunately made me feel otherwise.

I'm a foolish Leo; straightforward and people pleasing. I always aimed to meet Geminis' expectations, and somehow failed (or at least felt as though I did.) Sometimes my actions would be twisted and used against me. Still, I would return to those cunning people with the promise of renewed friendship only to become a masochist. I was never right; they were never wrong. I found most Geminis were emotionally exhausting and mentally taxing to me. My experiences with many of them gave me reasons to have seemingly paranoid anxieties.

My initial experience with a Gemini was my first cousin. Although we were cousins, we were more like sisters...and we fought like it. She was the daughter my mother never had, but always wanted. She was two years younger than me. She was pretty from a young age and is still model material. She liked "girly" things. She wanted to play realistic games like "house" and "teacher" with baby dolls. She could charismatically and cleverly get her way with the adults and was frequently the center of attention. As for me, I was tasked with keeping her happy. My mother and grandmother frequently scolded me for arguing with her, "I was older than her and should be a better example. I needed to be a good role model for her as well as my other cousins." Her unhappiness and dissatisfaction would be considered my fault.

She commanded attention. When the spotlight was away from her that was unforgivable. I remember getting in trouble at my birthday party. She wanted to unwrap my gifts and play with them. I didn't even know what was in them yet, so I wanted to unwrap them. As a "kind" gesture, she insisted that our other cousin could help her open them. This gesture was considered sweet by many of the adults. I, however, did not consider it sweet. I thought my birthday presents were mine. "You're older than they are, why won't you let them open your presents? That's not being very nice. That's stingy." my mother said as she handed my cousins the gifts. I opened some of my presents, but they were allowed to choose the ones they wanted to open.

Many Sundays were spent arguing with my cousin. She would run into a bedroom at my grandmother's house and pout until a satisfactory apology was given. Just saying sorry wasn't good enough. Even if she was technically in the wrong, I shouldn't have told her so. That wasn't my place, and now she was pouting and having a bad time because of me. I can't tell you the number of times I apologized to her or gave in to what she wanted. I would be punished otherwise. I was a headstrong child, especially if I thought I was in the right. This was where our signs clashed.

I always felt bad for our Cancer zodiac cousin. She was often pitted between the two of us, trying to prevent our stars from colliding. We both got along with her, and she was a great peacemaker for the two of us. An old saying is, "two is company, three is a crowd." If we were going to compete for our Cancer cousin's attention, I was going to lose. My Gemini cousin had the stronger personality.

I found other outlets that didn't force me to compete with her. I drifted off into fantasy through a good book, did an outdoor activity, or played with their brothers instead. This worked if Dear Gemini didn't insist on having my attention or being ignored. Then, she wanted to play with the boys. She wanted the book I was reading, or she wanted to go for a walk with me. She was better at basketball. She was better at sports. Why did I even bother? I wanted to play X-Men while jumping on the trampoline, but she needed someone to be the dad while she and our other cousin played house. "Why can't you get somebody else to do it?" I asked. "The boys don't want to play “house” with us, so you have to!" she shouted. "But it's such a nice day." I said and continued jumping with the boys. She stormed off, and before I knew it my mother was heading my direction. Mom uttered the words, "You've made your cousin very upset. If you don't go over there and play with the girls, your cousins will go home and then you'll have no one to play with. You don't want that do you?" I reluctantly obliged.

At eight years old, my cousin wanted to get her ears pierced together. When she turned eleven, she thought it was time for us to get our second piercing. My mom told me it was my birthday gift too, and I was cool with that. My cousin and I worked together and convinced our mothers to get us matching zodiac earrings, bracelets, and mood rings. We didn't understand the meaning of the zodiac signs at the time and wouldn't until a few years later. Our education on the topic was limited to what we found at Claire's and Icing. We thought it was a big game, and we had a surprisingly fun time with no conflict. It seemed if our goals, likes, and wants were the same we could get along.

My senior year of high school, I transferred to my cousin's school. I was thankful for the comradery of my cousin and her friend group that welcomed me. Everything was going well. She made fun of me at times, but I didn't help with some of the things I said. We were leaving a basketball game and I made the awkward statement, "Well, I'd better skedaddle". I couldn't blame her for capitalizing on that. It looked like this would be the best year for our friendship yet, until she started dating a certain boy.

Something about her relationship with her new boyfriend amplified rebellious behaviors and empowered her. She distanced herself from her old friends; they were boring, and the new ones were much more exciting. Her family grounded her on several occasions, but time with family was allowed. She proposed the idea of a sleepover with our other cousin and I at my house, and I jumped at the opportunity. A movie night bonding with my cousins sounded great. I excitedly picked out some films, board games, drinks, and snacks I knew they would like.

When I came into my bedroom with snacks and movie options, I was shocked to hear them gossiping and having conversations about sex. Stupid me didn't think of my younger cousins that way, and I couldn't participate in most of their conversations. I had no experience with dating, and my grandma sent me to church every Sunday morning and insisted I be a "good girl." I was too naïve. My Gemini cousin quickly pointed that out, laughed, and then asked me when I was going to grow up. They weren't interested in the things I had prepared. Instead, she wanted to meet up with the boyfriend she was banned from seeing at the movies tonight. She had already checked with my mom, and she said it was okay. I soon realized the girls' night sleepover I imagined was not what was going to occur.

I asked my mom just in case my cousin was bluffing. Mom responded, "Your aunt and uncle are too hard on her. It's a perfectly normal teenager thing to do. She should be allowed to see her boyfriend. Just go take her to the movies. There's no harm in it." After it was decided we were going, my cousin asked my mom if she could drive my car. Her parents weren't letting her drive theirs, and she needed more driving experience. I was horrified that my mom agreed. My other cousin and her were super excited. I was nervous and already worrying about A) What was going to happen if we got caught by her parents and B) What would happen to my car or us if her driving was bad. Once again, I was chided about being a worry wart, and told to just loosen up. I sat in the back seat of my own car, like an idiot on the way to a movie I didn't even want to see. My Gemini cousin got what she wanted once again, and my other cousin was excited for the horror movie we were supposed to see. This time, Gemini sneered, smiled, and made derogatory comments to me about how much of a simpleton I was and told me I should have expected this. Did I really think the night was going to go how I wanted?

Our family always thought she would marry first. She was the prettiest, the most outgoing, and the most experienced with boys. She had all the attributes our family adored and valued. Meanwhile, I looked like a boy more times than I had dated any. Imagine their surprise when I announced that I was getting married. Because we grew up together, I wanted my cousins to be my bridesmaids. They agreed. I was happy to select dresses that would complement their hair and eye color. Dear Gemini instructed that I should only choose short dresses since she didn't want to be hot in June. I found a few options that had all parties' seal of approval. I ordered and paid for them with the money I had earned from working in college. I told them they had to coordinate the shoes and accessories, but I did get them matching necklaces that went well with the dresses. It was part of my bridesmaid gift to them.

I wanted a pedicure for the wedding, and the bridesmaids wanted manicures and pedicures. I had already found a set of fake nails I planned on using that matched my dress. I planned on applying them afterward. My Gemini cousin bragged about the men she was seeing, and further boasted that one had even loaned her his credit card for the day. She wouldn't have to pay a dime for the manicure and pedicure. The same one had also ordered some nice new parts for her car and had planned on installing them for her this week. Her parents even approved of him, but he was just a sugar daddy to her. She pulled up more good-looking men on her phone for my other cousin and her to ogle over. I asked her how she could do that to the man who was being so good to her.

She responded with, "It's not my fault he's dumb enough to think I'm only seeing him and gave me his credit card. He said I could use it."

He probably gave you that thinking you were only seeing him.

"That's his fault for being naïve. By the way, our nails can't look better than yours since you're the bride, so you have to get yours done too. I'm getting the most expensive designs available, so you have to too-only you don't have somebody else paying for yours, now do you? "she smirked.

"I have some I picked out a few months ago that I'm just going to put on myself when I get home." I protested.

I held my ground until my other cousin and the professionals doing our pedicures overheard. Both of my cousins insisted to the staff that I had to have my nails done too. Eager for more money, the staff physically drug me away to the manicure station with my cousins cheering them on in the background. They further insisted on a French manicure with a design.

I finally gave in and told them I wanted a daisy flower as my design.

Dear Gemini chimed in again laughing, "Could you be any more simple?"

"I think daisy flowers are nice, and they'll go with my picnic wedding theme."

She sneered, looked at the staff and my other cousin and said, "You've always been so simple, Erica."

"What do you mean? You say that like it's a bad thing..."I said.

"It is! It's a nice way of saying you're stupid and easy to take advantage of" she hissed then laughed.

By that time, the person working on my nails insisted he would give me something that would look much better than a daisy flower. I looked down at my ring finger and noticed he had placed a black and silver abstract flower over my simple French design. I wasn't happy with it, and I wasn't happy with what was supposed to be a simple evening with the bridesmaids getting my nails done. At that point, I was nearly in tears. I just wanted to pay and go home. It cost me time, money, and feelings.

When we parted ways, I took a deep breath. I decided that the wedding marked the end of our relationship. I always wanted her to be my bridesmaid because I cared about her and our friendship. If she didn't feel the same way about me, that wasn't my problem anymore. It would still hurt, and part of me still wanted to hold on. What I was forced to realize at the nail salon was that she was no longer the freckle-faced kid who memorized lines from The Little Rascals with me. She wasn't the same girl who could understand having an imagination. She was no longer satisfied with playing cards or board games. Small things I enjoyed or that she used to enjoy were no longer enjoyable for her. They were inconvenient and more than that, it was a lifestyle to be ashamed of as far as she was concerned.

I wanted to say goodbye kindly. I chose to accommodate her and go along with her whims one last time. I listened to her talk and gave her the full attention she thought she deserved. I gave her bridesmaid gifts at the bachelorette party we had at my apartment. Spite was not in me, for the sake of the childhood pieces I once treasured. I was moving on.

I think about the way our lives took opposite directions, crossing again briefly at family events where we barely talk. I think about how different we are as people, and how different our paths are. We still intersect occasionally. I wonder if she ever misses me like I miss her, but I know that if I get too involved again things will wind up like they always have. It takes two people to make a relationship work. I know that now.

She had a baby less than two years before I found out I was pregnant. Our sons are the same exact age apart as we were-only mine is the youngest. My mother frequently compares the two to each other like she did my cousin and me. My son is a Gemini, like her zodiac sign. However, we have a lot of similar likes, interests, and wants; things that I haven't forced on him or introduced him to. My son and I make a great team! Sometimes, his papa even feels outnumbered with the whimsical, humorous, entertaining nature we bring home, but he loves us for it anyway.

Do I sense a little drama from this Gemini? Yes, he is a pretty big fan of arguing for the sake of entertainment, and sometimes he takes after his theatrical Leo Mama. Unlike his parents, he is outgoing. He waves "hi" to everyone he meets. When other kids get injured at daycare, he asks them if they are okay. He also has no problem telling them what is his. He is impulsive, and investigative. He keeps us on our toes. He is a bundle of curiosity and wants to know how everything works.

He has shown me similar sides of the Gemini zodiac sign that my cousin did, but in a very different way. First impressions may be lasting, but they may not always be accurate. Geminis have two sides, and character traits do too. The same personality traits that can be used for personal gain can also be used for the good of others. I was wrong to blame the entire Gemini zodiac sign for my cousin's behavior. We all have the freedom of choice. We dictate how we use our gifts, traits, and skills, not our star signs. They may give us some of those traits, but ultimately, it's up to us how we decide to use them. I'm a "simple" Leo, but whether that trait is good or bad depends on the perspective.

Just the other day my husband and I were discussing a delicious meal. I told him, "It's really simple." He responded with, "The best things in life often are." I smiled as I looked at our little family. My son was enjoying his food with us seated around the table. Our dogs laid on the porch content from the meat scraps they received. My son laughed at our dogs, then let me know he was finished. He gave me a hug and asked me to go outside with him.

I make goofy faces and sing silly songs when I push him on the swing. I pull him in the wagon for a bit. He runs over to the TV and asks me for "Pokémon" while we make cookies for a belated Mother's Day. He's happy I cut out the pictures on the box for him to play with. He is excited by the throwback 90s toys we bought out of the 25-cent toy capsule machine. He thinks that is thrilling, and loves taking the acorn shaped capsule apart. He already checks the slots in the machines when we go out in case someone left a prize. We went shopping for some ideas for his birthday, and what he picked out was a $1 hula hoop, three $1 squirt guns for the three of us, and two outdoor balls. The answer to my question, "Are all Gemini's this complicated?" according to my son is a resounding no, and I will refrain from unilaterally labeling them as such. I'm happy to be raising a Gemini child, and am happy to say that my fears based on early impressions weren't necessary.