Age Gap

" When you really love someone age, distance, height, weight are just numbers."

Age gap relationships have been happening for hundreds of years, yet it is still the topic of many conflicted conversations and debates. It has become normalized but not everyone has accepted it. Why? And you would think that even after centuries of it accruing that it would become less of an issue. Yet it has not. What are your views on age gap relationships? Are you against it or for it?

I personally had found myself on the conflicted side when it came to age gap relationships. On one had everyone has the right to love whoever they please. But on the other hand I use to believe, being with someone that is close in age or the same age as and even older than your parents is simply just wrong. Dating someone that is or around your child's or way younger sibling's age is wrong, does it not make things weird? There are even relationships in which the older partner could be the younger partner's grandparent. Yet I can not find myself to completely judge their relationships.

It is not my job to judge, or anyone's for that matter. The only beings that are allowed to judge, are those we worship in our respective religions. And even though it should not matter who a person loves, it does. Society has made it their job to judge us for who we are with, from looks to age difference.

I had always believed that the male should be older than the female. But no more than a 10 year difference. So I came up with my own age limit for myself, 3-4 years older and no more than that. But as I got older I realize that the heart knows no limit. Then it became 2 years younger and 3-4 years older. Yet that never stop me from feeling something for someone out of that box. I soon gave up on the limitations. I no longer cared about the max age limit as long as it was not someone close to my father's age.

The 2 tears younger limit was still in place, until a few weeks ago. I fell for this amazing guy. He is everything I have ever wanted the person I end up with to be. Yet I can not act on anything. A minor ( 15-17 ) teenage girl having a relationship with someone between ages 18-21 is normal and is more accepted than a male minor ( 15-17 ) dating a female within that age group. When it comes to age gaps males have more support than females. Why is that? And at what age is it okay for a female to date a male slightly younger than her?

I'm scared to express my feelings for the guy I like, due to the fear on being judge. Everyone deserves to love whoever they please, right? Then why are so many of us living in fear of being judge for those we want to be with. Loving someone should not be a scary thing to do, because of the fear of being judged. The only thing that should be scary about love is getting your heart broken.

I read this old article about age gaps and this is what it said " What is the acceptable minimum age for a dating partner? When this question comes up in conversation, someone inevitably cites the half your age plus seven rule. This rule states that by dividing your own age by two and then adding seven you can find the socially acceptable minimum age of anyone you want to date. So if you’re a 24-year-old, you can feel free to be with anyone who is at least 19 (12 + 7) but not someone who is 18.1 The (lesser-applied) other side of the rule defines a maximum age boundary: Take your age, subtract 7, and double it. So for a 24-year-old, the upper age limit would be 34 (17 * 2). With some quick math, the rule provides a minimum and maximum partner age based on your actual age that, if you choose to follow it, you can use to guide your dating decisions. " So I gave it a try, my minimum age limit was 16 and the maximum was 22. Yet I still have a question about how this method works. What happens in a few months when I turn 19, my age then becomes an odd number. Is it still okay to date a 16 year old or would it the be a 17 year old?

Here are some other things that were mentioned in the article when it came to males, " The utility of this equation? It lets you chart acceptable age discrepancies that adjust over the years. According to the rule, for example, a 30-year-old should be with a partner who is at least 22, while a 50-year-old’s dating partner must be at least 32 to not attract (presumed) social sanction. "

" When it comes to sexual fantasies, however, men have minimum age preferences that are younger than the rule would designate appropriate. For example, this sample of 60-year-old men reports that it is acceptable to fantasize about women in their 20s, which the rule would say is unacceptable. But fantasies, of course, are not generally subject to public scrutiny and the rule is only designed to calculate what is socially acceptable in the public eye—so this discrepancy is not necessarily a failure of the rule. For rule-related involvement (relationships), 60-year-old men are stating that the minimum acceptable age is around 40, which does map much more closely to the rule’s predictions." " The rule overestimates the perceived acceptability of men becoming involved with older women. Men do not show a linear increase in maximum age preference that matches the rule’s predictions. Instead, men report maximum acceptable partner ages that hover around their own age through their 40s. After 40, maximum age preferences for most categories remain lower than their own age. Thus the rule for maximum age is fairly ineffective at capturing what men actually believe is acceptable. "

Here are some things the article had to say about women, " The figure shows that women are reporting minimum age preferences that exceed the rule’s predictions. In other words, while the rule states that 40-year-old women can feel comfortable dating 27-year-old men, this does not reflect the social preferences and standards of women. Women in their 40s think that approximately 35 or older is acceptable for marriage or a relationship. Even when fantasizing, such women’s minimum age preference remains over 30. The rule’s calculated minimum acceptable partner ages seem to fit men better than women. " " The rule states that it is acceptable for 30-year old women to date men who are up to 46 years old, but in reality, 30-year-old women state that their max acceptable partner age would be less than 40 (around 37). The rule underestimates women’s reported preferences in their 20s, but the gap between reports of what is socially acceptable and the rule itself widens over time. "

This article was written back in 2014 so just imagine how much has changed since then. Love is an amazing thing and the feelings you give and receive from it are even more amazing. Having age limitations or expectations with it should not me normal or okay. But everyone has their opinion and that will never change. It is your life, live it how you want, love who YOU want. because at the end of the day people will continue to judge you no matter what. Everyone deserves love and to be happy. Take risks and enjoy life because you only get one chance at it. As for me? I have decided to take my own advise as well.