Afraid of the Darkness
The mind of a teenage girl in the darkness of night.
I hate the dark. It terrifies me. I’ve always hated the dark. I grew up in the countryside so at night it was always the darkest it could of been! I mean there were no lights on in the distance to put your mind at ease of the fear of becoming hurt with your own thoughts.
If you looked above the clear skies would often catch you off your guard seeing the glistening stars above while hearing creepy noises making you shiver to your skin in sacredness following the paths that laid in front of me. I knew my home would offer my beating anxious heart some comfort.
I grabbed the door and pushed it with full force. I slammed it behind me while seeing a tall dark figure through the corner of my eye but of course it was my imagination taking hold of me. "I found comfort in my bedroom"
I’d lie in my bed and barely dare to move my eyeballs back and forth. I just knew if I moved a muscle something would reach out from under my bed and grab me or even worse kill me!
Heaven forbid if I ever had to pee. And of course, the more I’d think about NOT peeing…the more I HAD to.
Then I would run down the stairs as quickly as possible before speeding back upstairs step by step till I reached the bedroom to close my bedroom door as soon as possible.
I don’t know where this fear came from but I know that it has stayed with me and proved very hard to deal with through my anxious mind.
I’ve always had a crazy wild imagination. There were creatures and things that went bump around every corner of my mind on a daily basis as I laid in my bed processing all my thoughts.
I couldn’t seem to shut it off.
I always had the worst nightmares that would wake me up dripping in sweats of fear as I was afraid of the monsters in my dreams and the idea of being removed from my place of safety.
I held tightly on to my duvet. I told myself that if they were to hurt me they would have to find a way of removing the duvet. Silly as it seems. It worked a treat as my eyes rolled to the back of my head and I fell deeply to sleep clutching on to my comfort blanket.
I knew my anxiety could not get the better of me as I dozed off in to a long lasting sleep of terrifying dreams to wake up in the morning to the bright sunshine that awaits me as I open my morning curtains and my mind cleared of all those negative thoughts. I said to myself ‘I am beginning to feel human again’ I laughed and it give me the motivation to get past the drowning thoughts in my mind and progress with the rest of my day and start to embrace the better part of me that I am beginning to take for granted.
That day I made some very big achievements and took the world in my hands to positively succeed in everything that life had to offer me on that certain day!
I hope you have enjoyed reading about my experience's and it shows us that not every negative thought and experience will hold us back from living our lives once we have pushed threw it and become stronger. I look forward to engaging with you in the future with many more stories in the future.
Thanks for reading! I appreciate it.