When you're young, it seems like the opinion of others are very important. At twenty three, I find myself weighed down with the expectations of others. I've been told that there are no expectations, but as humans we can't deny the hopes that we have for other people. Maybe those are our secret expectations.
In high school, I was a good kid and kept to a small group of friends. I didn't go to parties, I didn't get messy, and I definitely didn't have lots of boyfriends. I entered that phase once I went to university, where I found out just how much I love going on dates.
The people around me are often shocked at how much I date. Every time you see me, I'm probably talking to a new guy on Tinder or another app. I go on a lot of first dates, but I don't have any boyfriends. They're just guys who mattered for a night and then don't anymore. Am I a ho?
I don't think so. Just because I go on a date, doesn't mean I'm sleeping with someone - not that it's any of your business. Sex is what you make it. You can make it meaningful and deep, or it can just be something that you do to kill some time. As long as you use protection and exercise your boundaries, go wild.
I used to slut shame so much when I was younger and I'm truly ashamed of it. I thought that the girls who had a lot of sex or went out with a lot of guys were sluts. And to all those girls - I apologize. I'm realizing in my life that someone's bedroom life is not anyone else's business. Then why is sex the only thing we can talk about?
I've been frustrated lately with the online dating scene. Every guy seems to be jumping right into talking about sex. Frankly, I'm so over it. I'm disgusted, I'm frustrated, I'm disappointed. Sometimes I think I have sick burns. So he says, "I bet your curves are amazing," and I said, "Wow I bet my personality is too." The best, right?! Anyway.
If you're a guy and you're reading this, do better! I really want to go on dates with you and give you a chance. But I can't when you constantly talk about sex. It makes me question your motives...and then I don't trust you. Make sense?
Moving on, I wish there was a place that I could meet guys in the real world and it was easy. I don't go to bars or clubs, and even when I do, I can't seem to find the right crowd. Where do guys hang out? Their houses? Sorry, can't go hang out there.
You're thinking - school or work. What happens when you don't work and you're in a female-dominated program? Solve the riddles of the dating universe.
The moral of the story? I'm putting my hands up in defeat. Join me in protest and maybe the guys will start coming to us. And it's not like I can express the way I feel to guys in a way they would see. Or care. LOL.
And I'm sick of all the expectations. Stop judging others, stop caring about the judgments of others. I want to break the cycle. I think part of what makes dating so hard is having to navigate expectations and rules of "the game." I had a friend who didn't talk to a guy for three days because he was following an unspoken rule that she didn't know about. What are these games that people play?
Here's a Song Recommendation
I'm feeling this song lately - "Number One Fan" by MUNA. If you're feeling like the world can kiss your ass because you're just gonna date yourself, rock out to this song with me! Send me your song recommendations!