A particular California statute

I’ve been in a very intense place for a very long time now. If you’ve been reading me you might have noticed.

Last year in January, in my adopted home state of California, the Governor lifted the statute of limitations for adults who were institutionally abused as children, to seek legal and civil action.

On it’s face, it’s very exciting. It certainly was for me, as the statute pertains to me. I was even more excited when a law firm took my case/s, telling me I had at least two!

My entire life, I was never protected from anything by anyone, really, especially in childhood, when I needed it most.

I’m sure my parents were well-intended, but their marriage was failing horribly and they were otherwise occupied just as I was entering that weird age pedophiles just love.

So I was basically at the mercy of everyone I encountered and am still shocked I lived to tell the tale.

Things happened, a lot of them over a very long time. Things that would prompt a law firm to tell me I had at least two cases. My hopes had never been so high, for anything.

Something somewhere in me, even as a child, understood that when someone who I was meant to trust and be safe with breached that trust and safety, it was not my job to protect them by keeping their secret.

FUCK THAT

But just because one is speaking, it doesn’t mean anyone is listening. And it was the late 70s, early 80s when it was deemed perfectly acceptable to discriminate against gay male teachers but hey, the straight ones could organize “ski trips” for their favorite (read female) students. JUNIOR HIGH, aka middle school.

So I was basically spitting into the wind, and try as I might, and I did try hard many times, I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

So I’ve been pissed off and indignant my whole life, with no way at all to take back my power. And I suffer awfully from what it all did to my psyche.

So when a law firm comes galloping in on a shining stallion, clad in armor, practically promising to finally be the ones to stand up for me, I was thrilled.

From January through OCTOBER of 2020, I firmly believed in them, even though it took weeks or months to get a call back or even an offhand email.

Was shifted from case manager to case manager, rarely ever speaking with an actual attorney, and after trying my best to make an appointment to share any and all inf about myself they might need in order to not be caught off guard by the “other side,” they DROPPED MY CASE WITHOUT EVER TELLING ME, continuing to take my calls and keep me on hold forever.

Here’s the thing I found out after an over the phone tooth pulling session; because I have mental illness from all the abuse, I’m a bad and unreliable witness.

Here’s another thing... recent statistics:

https://www.healtheuropa.eu/abused-children-mental-illness-93690-2/93690/

The upshot for me is twofold.

Pro: I now know there is no amount of money great enough to make up for all I’ve lost over my life... I’ve never been married, I have no children, I have several different forms of mental illness (none that are dangerous, but make it almost impossible to function on any consistent healthy level,) not to mention several chronic illnesses , including sarcoidosis and fibromyalgia, I found out today, so at least I know now not to waste my precious energy hoping for that armor to be made of anything other than aluminum foil.

Con: I still have no way of taking back my power, not really.

So basically, if you were abused institutionally in California, my fingers are tightly crossed for you that you weren’t effected by it, although if that is truly the case, no need to sue.

I’m sure you were well intended, Governor Newsome. I really am.