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7 Things You Shouldn't Do Because "You're Over It"

The times when giving in to the quitting feeling are worse than sticking it out.

By Ellen "Jelly" McRaePublished 4 months ago 8 min read
Image created on Canva

I get over it. All the damn time.

I know you get over it, too. What "it" is always changing. Sometimes we're over the weather. Sometimes we're over the way the supermarket stopped stocking our favourite chips. 

And other times we're over the way our boss is talking to us every single day we walk into the office.

And when we feel over it, that's when we tend to quit. Not always, but in a lot of situations when we feel quitting is necessary, being over it happens first.

I got over the way my ex-boyfriend was treating me like I possessed zero intelligence compared to him. And belittled my every existence any time he could. As the over it feeling engulfed me, I broke up with him. I left, walked out, and never regretted the moment I said goodbye.

You could argue that's an action taken from being over it that's wise. The relationship was done, and so was I. 

But let's be real here. 

You can't quit life as soon as you feel over something. It's not always the best idea, nor does it end in us being happy, healthy, safe or otherwise.

As much as it's tempting, here are the seven things you shouldn't do despite feeling over it.

Ignore your health

There was a time in my life when my ankle was in a moon boot, thanks to an injury at work. 

I was going to weekly doctor's appointments, and rehab, not to mention not being able to work and going crazy with boredom. And due to my inability to move and exercise like I once did, I gained weight and ended up with gallbladder problems. 

All this concluded with my gallbladder removal.

Yeah, by the time this six-month period in my life ended, I was over it. But if I had quit, thrown my hands up in the air, and didn't deal with it, 

I shudder to think where I would be now. 

Would I be able to walk? Would I still be in chronic pain, unable to eat or go to the bathroom properly?

Our health is always going to feel like a rollercoaster ride. It will feel only normal to get over it at times. Yet, we all understand the alternative.

Ignore our health and face the irreversible consequences.

Give up on a romantic relationship

I know I mentioned breaking up with my ex when I was over it, but in that case, I was more than over it. I was done. There was no recovery despite my trying. The relationship wasn't salvageable, and as an adult, I knew that.

Everyone knows when the over-it point goes from being temporary to unsalvageable.

But you can't just walk away every time you have that over-it feeling. You would never make it past any normal relationship hard times. You wouldn't make it through:

  • A basic fight about everyday things
  • A fight about contentious parts of your relationship that you can work through, improve, and get past (not true, relationship-ending deal breakers)
  • Medical hard times - When you, your partner or your loved one is ill
  • Childbirth - When your entire life together turns upside down
  • Financial Stress - When you eventually go through money worries or issues surrounding financial survival
  • Work Stress - Speaks for itself
  • Moving and general life changes - When your life is changing and it's hard to keep up with

All these things, especially when they pile up, can cause you to feel over the relationship.

I get it.

But it's part of having a relationship. You can't expect another relationship to be better, or not have issues like this. In short, you will never find a relationship when you won't be "over it" at some point.

Making money

If you're like me and you have your own business, you eventually end up hitting a wall. Perhaps it's not necessarily running a business; you might be trying to earn money for charity or save money for a big purchase.

Making money is one of those consistent tasks we do in life. It takes time and boring repetition. 

It's kind of like losing weight, speaking of the health we mentioned earlier. You get your desired results by doing a little bit each day over a long time.

But like when we quit the weight loss journey, making money is one of those tasks we can become over very quickly. We don't see immediate results and the temptation to walk away becomes too much.

I understand that feeling intimately. Yet, walking away leaves us with bigger problems. It's not like our being over it suddenly brings in the money and fixes the need to make money. 

It does the opposite. 

It only slows down the process or takes us back to the start.

The only way to bring yourself closer to earning money is to resist the over it feeling and push through. Easy said than done, I have to admit.

Quitting your job

Following on from making money, all jobs hit a point where they get bad. You have bad days. You have bad weeks. You even have bad years. Sometimes it's the profession you're in. 

Those stock brokers from the late-2000s will attest to that. Retail workers at Christmas will attest to that, too.

Yet, sometimes it's the job itself. Sometimes you need a new job, get away from this specific workplace and start enjoying what you do again. You're over it and it's time to go.

Without sounding like your parent, don't go quitting your job because you're over it. You need to be able to pay your bills, provide for yourself (and dependents) and sustain yourself during a new job hunt.

As an adult, you're allowed to feel over it. As an adult, though, you know better than to put yourself under financial stress over feeling over it.

Dropping a friend

I'm a scorned friend, dumped because my best friend got over it. She was over what was happening in my life, those health woes I was talking about earlier. 

And, in a very cruel conversation, told me I was too hard to be friends with.

Before you ask, it felt like absolute shit to hear this. Even if this is how you feel about someone, don't ever say it to them. It hurts more than I can describe and doesn't get your point across any better than declaring the friendship is over.

Those thoughts aside, every friendship goes through ups and downs. It's much like a romantic relationship.

Sometimes, feeling over a certain situation leads you to make irrational evaluations about a friendship. We're trained by social media to drop "toxic friendships" quicker than ever. 

However, true toxic friendships aren't those who hit rough patches, for example.

When we're over a certain situation, labelling a friendship in this way seems tempting and feels like the best way to relieve your situation.

Yet, walking away from a friendship hastily, or because of a misguided evaluation, isn't always reversible. If this friend came back to me, I would refuse her reconciliation. 

How do I know she won't just get over it again? 

Once bitten, twice shy and all that.

Keeping it clean

We're going to get a little specific with the last two points here. Sometimes it's the little things in life that can add up here. I'm not a domestic goddess, but I do have a rule when it comes to my life. 

Despite everything going on, I don't let my physical surroundings become a mess. With chaotic surroundings comes a chaotic mind. And that doesn't help me solve anything when I'm over it.

Of course, I get over the execution of cleaning. It's boring and sometimes not that satisfying.

But it's not something you can give up on when times get tough. Not only do you make other situations harder for yourself, but you also create problems you might not be able to fix in the future.

I think of the stack of dirty dishes growing mould and attracting insects. Once parts of your life become uncleanable, you make repairing the situation harder than the initial cleaning in the first place.

Cleaning represents the basics in life, by the way. Perhaps the simple task in life you've over isn't cleaning. It could be doing the washing, walking the dog, cooking, or doing supermarket shopping.

It's something that as an adult we need to realise neglecting because we're over it doesn't invoke the magical fairy who comes and does it for us. 

We have to keep adulting, no matter how much we hate it.

Walking out on an argument

Arguments happen all the time between everyone in our life. I'm not just talking about romance here. We have arguments with people we hate as much as with the people we love. 

It doesn't take long once an argument starts before that feeling of being over it engulfs us.

The solution? Walk away, right?

As a reformed storm-off person, I used to walk away as soon as I was over it. Yet, this never meant I resolved the argument or that I felt any better about the situation. 

The temporary flight response didn't end in any long-term gain.

This is one of those examples that summarises the issue of making permanent decisions on temporary emotions. 

Feeling over it can often be very temporary. It can feel like it's more than temporary like you've had it forever. 

But so much of what happens isn't permanent.

We're all over it

In all the examples I've talked about today, there are always going to be extreme examples. There are going to be jobs where your boss is abusive. In that case, walk away. There are going to be friendships where your friend is stealing from you. 

In that case, walk away.

Those are the times when you know better as an adult. You know you're not just over it, you're done. There's no coming back.

But, we're not talking about those moments.

We're talking about when life hits speed bumps and we feel over it for a moment. We all go through those times. We all have those problems. But they're never going to go away if we quit, walk away and let this over-it feeling control us.

And even if it feels like life is getting better, another problem will come along. The cycle will start again.

In the long run, we're better off getting over the feeling of being over it. It's not helping us right now.


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About the Creator

Ellen "Jelly" McRae

I’m here to use my wins and losses in #relationships as your cautionary tale | Writes 1LD; Cautionary tale #romance fiction |

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