5 Powerful Ways to Break the Cycle of Pain in Your Relationships

by Rhonda Stalb 6 months ago in advice

Painful Old Habits Don't Have to Control You or Your Partner

5 Powerful Ways to Break the Cycle of Pain in Your Relationships
Photo by Priscilla Du Preez on Unsplash

Are your relationships consumed with pain and bad habits?

Are you ready to move past the hurt and pain?

Do you want to experience joy and magic in your relationships again?

If you answered yes to any or all of those questions, Good News, I have 5 powerful solutions for breaking the cycle of pain in your relationships.

Ready? Okay here they are...

1. Understand the root of your pain. You can't heal what you don't acknowledge. Ask your self this question:(why do I hurt others and allow them to hurt me?) Look deep into your past and your present to find the source of your relational pain. The root of your pain is unique to you and how you experienced it.

You may have experienced childhood trauma or abuse. There might be failed relationships. Other circumstances may include; mental health issues, life transitions, grief and loss

2. Go To Therapy. Seek help from an objective and experienced mental health professional. Therapy is a helpful way to support and guide you through the process of acknowledging your painful experiences. Therapy also helps you learn to think about painful experiences in ways that don’t negatively affect you and your relationships.

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3. Learn to Change your Behavior. Your cycle of relational pain can cause negative behaviors. These negative behaviors include: feeling like a victim, blaming others, and engaging in dysfunctional relationships.

Instead of reacting to your pain with a negative attitude and falling into old bad habits, you can communicate your feelings assertively and seek help for resolving the problem.

It's also important to remember that your behavior can prolong your pain or repair what's broken. You have the power to make a choice here.

When you acknowledge there is a problem, you can make a plan to talk to someone objective that will give you a fresh perspective and teach you how to interact with people in a positive manner and heal relational wounds.

4. Learn to Forgive. Forgiveness doesn't excuse what the other person did to you. It sets you free from bitterness and resentment. Forgiveness is an important key to breaking the cycle of pain in your relationships. Learning to forgive prevents you from getting caught in a pattern of blame and guilt. Forgiveness is crucial to your healing.

Forgiveness is not excusing what the other person did. It is making the choice to overcome the pain inflicted by another person and not allowing it to interrupt the progress you make.

Forgiveness is more for you than the offender. It means letting go of anger, resentment, and shame, so you can move forward.

5. Join a Support Group. Positive peer support to help you overcome your painful experiences is extremely effective in breaking old negative relational patterns. Support groups provide positive role models to help you develop positive and healthy relationships. They are also a great source of inspiration for overcoming your pain.

Photo by Justin Follis on Unsplash

Unhealthy patterns of pain and hurt are difficult to break in relationships. However, it is possible to move out of those patterns and heal your relationships.

Sometimes that requires you to seek help from a professional. Sometimes your family and friends are too close to the situation and they are not able to give an objective perspective about the problem.

A professional therapist has the ability and expertise to assess deep rooted problems that can be overwhelming. It’s okay to ask for help when these situations happen. Give yourself a chance to overcome and break the cycle of pain in your relationships.

If you need help making this happen contact me for an appointment today and allow me to help you transform your relationship into one that supports you.

Rhonda Stalb
Rhonda Stalb
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Rhonda Stalb

Rhonda Stalb as been a licensed family therapist and Life Coach for 10 years. She is passionate about facilitating change for her clients so they can finally regain the life they’ve always dreamed of.

See all posts by Rhonda Stalb