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4 Phobias That Don’t Let You Succeed

Are you a winner?

By Andrew MeyersPublished 2 years ago 4 min read
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4 Phobias That Don’t Let You Succeed
Photo by Wade Austin Ellis on Unsplash

Every human being has goals, desires, and aspirations. Even if you simply want to be left alone, this is also a goal: to confine yourself and gain more space for laziness and idleness.

People's goals are very diverse. Some tend to finish their studies at last. Others want to get married or get divorced. Some tend to achieve performance in work, in sports, in relationships, in improvement. We all organize the world around us to live happily ever after. Or this is the ultimate goal - to be happy!

How could we not understand it, by what means we would not try to get it, sometimes with many barriers in the way, there are phobias, which almost all people stumble upon. When you become aware of them, you will have the chance to work on them and remove unnecessary barriers from your life.

Fear of success

Are you sure you are not afraid to achieve your goals? The question is strange, isn't it? However, this cause is at the top of the containment factors. Most often the man is the one, he can't afford to be successful, to be rich and happy.

Many have a gloomy and inadequate inner voice, which whispers to them: You have to pay for all the successes. The less you take on, the easier it is to live. If you succeed, then you will have envy, sticks, and new problems. In general, you don't deserve to be successful. "

And look, there are goals, tools, and motivation alike, but when it comes time to get to work - you get stuck. Thus, many are closely connected with the inadequate inner voice in a comfortable world, even if not very quiet and in general, they are satisfied.

Fear of condemnation

We all know that we must not depend on the opinions of those around us. But when a man begins to advance step by step, he immediately faces resistance. In particular, with the opposition of those around him.

The physical laws that work in our world are practically obvious: if you paddle, the water resists, everything tends to a constant, clear, and ordinary state. And here you have waves, someone is trying to lift you, to reach certain goals, to change something… No, that's not how it works.

People will always have their opinion. The problem lies in the human mind, in the critical attitude towards himself, capable of destroying everything from the root, if there is no willpower, the ability to take control of life and situation, the understanding that you must filter the opinions of others.

But the most important thing is to understand that there will always be dissatisfied people, no matter what you do. You can't be good to everyone, but betraying yourself is very easy.

Fear of past failures and mistakes

Ask anyone about their dreams. They will start listing them, but you sit and listen patiently. Most likely the time will come when you will hear "yes, of course, it would be nice and nice, but". There is always a "gift". But it is unfeasible, but so many problems will arise, but I have no money, but I do not have time, but there are many other excuses.

The psyche is always on our side, it tries to protect us from destructive emotions and feelings. Especially when the past weighs you down with so many failures, mistakes, losses… And here you are on the threshold of a new journey, but in your mind, a lot of problems are projected, real or invented. Obstacles.

Difficulties. Fears. You've been through this more than once! The noblest intentions have been shattered so many times by stumbling over reality, then disappointment, pain, and hands down. Then you conclude that it is better not to do anything because again you will go through the same scenario of failure.

And that's all! Mission accomplished! The psyche has done its job and now it can rest in peace - it has protected the master from a new trauma of the soul, the master will again sit with his hands in his chest stuck in his quiet swamp.

Fear of being uncomfortable

There is a lack of education to speak out loud. You can't be upset. It's selfish to want something for yourself. You can't get tired. You can't be unhappy. It's not good to ask for more, to be stingy, to ask for something to change. You cannot refuse if you are offered or asked. You can't protest.

From childhood I learned a rule from the bone marrow - we have to be comfortable. So as not to upset parents, teachers, friends, colleagues. From childhood we are taboo on emotions - we are not allowed to want, to be upset, to get upset, but not on the forms of their manifestation.

Of course, no one is preventing us from expressing our emotions or behavior in a socially acceptable way or, more precisely, from expressing them.

All people with a healthy psyche have emotions. Often, because of the unacceptable form of emotions, human emotions are blocked. Feelings of shame and guilt are the most common tools by which parents turn their children into comfortable members of society. You disappointed your father, you offended your mother, you upset your grandmother.

It's very bad, it's awful for a child. To survive and not try this fear, the child blocks his emotions and "stops" feeling. It's just that these heavy, unpleasant emotions don't go away, even if they're blocked. They remain inside and sooner or later manifest themselves, only in another form, as a self-destructive feeling of guilt, self-aggression, and fear of the consequences of their actions.

To be successful, you must be able to give up something, to reject someone or yourself. Just say NO. Sometimes you must allow yourself to get angry, to let go of your emotions, to find acceptable forms of aggression. Fears have no place in your mind. How to get rid of them, you will find out in the next article.

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