3 Opportunities for Growth in Your Relationship

Relationships of all types can test us. Romantic relationships can bring us to highs and lows we never imagined. It is through these experiences that we learn something we might not have realized we would with another person, we learn about ourselves.

When I was an intuitive reader, my most popular topic for readings was love, hands down. I learned a great deal about love through these intimate insights into many love relationships. Not to mention my own journeys on the path of love

Opportunity One: Boundaries

When you are in a love relationship you want to give, and you don’t want to say no to your partner. After a while, you may notice feelings of resentment brewing. This is common when you have allowed your boundaries to be breached.

It might not even be the fault of your partner, this is where the opportunity for growth lies, in knowing yourself. When you don’t know yourself, you will let yourself follow others, blend yourself with them. The boundaries are very blurry. The danger is you lose yourself in the process.

The more you know yourself the less you want to follow another. You are strong and confident on your own. This is a tremendous opportunity for growth.

Learning the lesson of setting boundaries means you know where the line needs to be drawn, this is self-validating. You are aware of who you are, and what you want. It doesn’t mean you set unrealistic limitations in a relationship, it means that you are clear about your tolerance levels and have no problems communicating this.

Sometimes, when we become clear on our boundaries, certain relationships won't work any longer. Both romantic and otherwise.

If we had a habit before of overgiving or saying yes all of the time, there may be some resistance. Most will adapt and respect your boundaries. Anyone who doesn’t is unable to respect you. This itself is a lesson in self-love, will you stand by what you know in your heart is right for you or bend to accommodate someone else? The sacrifice required to live inauthentically is almost always not worth it.

Opportunity Two: Compassion

In love, compassion can be difficult at times. We have a lot of emotions when we are in love and it is hard to process them at times. Especially if the relationship is new.

The act of compassion means that you are willing to put another person's needs before your own. Can you think from their point of view or try to imagine how they feel on their side of things? Due to all the emotions with love, it can cloud your ability to do this.

Compassion teaches to let go of your side of the story, and to consider the other person's side. It helps you stretch beyond your comfort zone and look at things from a new perspective. This allows you to shift where you might need to.

Having said that, compassion is sometimes easier to give than receive. It's important to notice if you are one of those people who tend to hold compassion for others to the point where you overlook problem areas in your relationship. Making excuses for bad behavior from your partner for example. Have compassion for yourself if you catch yourself taking the blame for things you know aren’t your fault.

There is a balance with compassion, both partners must exercise it. That goes for any type of partnership in life, such as friends, family, coworkers, anyone you connect with.

Opportunity Three: Forgiveness

Relationships make us vulnerable, none of us like feeling that way very much. When we are vulnerable a funny thing happens, it recreates who we can be. As others know us and even how we know ourselves. It opens the door to a new way of being, a chance to respond in a new way. Vulnerability helps us to evolve. If we were never vulnerable, we wouldn’t grow, we would remain static, perpetuating the same patterns over and over.

As important as vulnerability is, it can present problems when one partner isn’t responding in a way the other needs them to. They may not realize just how vulnerable their partner is. Or they may feel uncomfortable with vulnerability even when it's their partner who is experiencing it. They may even reject, lash out, or ghost as a response.

The reason someone behaves in this way is usually that they don’t want to meet up with their partner's vulnerability, that would mean they would have to look inward and be real. For some, their patterns and staying stuck in them is their comfort zone and they won't budge.

Enter forgiveness. When you have given your heart and soul to a relationship and not been met in kind. When you trusted and believed in someone and they betrayed you. When you shared your most intimate, private parts of yourself, and they went out and told others. Or maybe all they did was forget your anniversary or miss your sister's wedding. Whatever they did big or small forgiveness is a key lesson for growth in a relationship.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean you are saying it’s okay that whatever happened, happened. It wasn’t, it was messed up. Forgiveness means you are ready to let it go, you are ready to move on with your life and no longer harbor resentment. If you don’t you stay stuck.

Forgiveness means to gracefully accept what has been and ready yourself for the new coming into your life. Can you feel the movement? The growth, the evolution.

Boundaries, compassion, and forgiveness are three lessons love teaches us. They are not easy lessons, it may take more than one relationship to learn them. Likely it will. Stay tuned in to your heart, and find balance there. So that you are aware, by being present you can not only see the lesson as it plays out in your life, you will learn it.