13 Signs That You Are Addicted to a Relationship

Addictive relationships are those in which the dependent partner cannot leave even when the second partner wants to end the relationship or causes suffering to the dependent person.

- I can't live without him/her!

- If we break up, I will never be happy (happy) / I will never love again / I will never be able to live!

- Yes, he/she beats me, but I love him/her! Of course, he/she loves me too.

- I'm ready to do anything, just be together!

Such expressions are a wake-up call. Probably a factor as to why they're doing so poorly.

Both women and men can get caught in this trap. Such a relationship is very painful, unhealthy, and never happy. That is why it is important to identify the addiction in time and take the necessary measures.

Symptoms of addiction:

• Fear of making decisions on your own.

• Constant jealousy, unfounded distrust of the partner.

• Total and unfounded control. Where? With whom? While? Why?

• Acute needs to inform the partner about all areas of his life.

• The desire to do anything to avoid dissatisfaction and quarrels.

• The interests of the dependent partner are less important than those of the other. Always.

• Willingness to betray one's principles for the sake of one's partner.

• The desire to change your partner. Or for him to change.

• Imbalance in the "take the give" relationship in the couple. One always gives, and the other always gives.

• The tendency to idealize your partner and to turn a blind eye to his obvious shortcomings.

• The relationship is the main priority in life, there is nothing above them.

• Lack of feelings of happiness, joy, lightness, and harmony in the relationship.

• The constant desire to criticize, to search and find in what aspects you are not right or you are not good enough for your partner. Feelings of guilt, injustice, and resentment become permanent companions.

Let's try to find out how such a sick relationship can turn into a healthy one.

Change the focus of attention

Personal life is just ONE of the spheres of life, which MUST be just as developed in a happy person. Lately, have you been focusing only on the relationship? Return to the other spheres of life and learn to live to the fullest.

Apart from the relationship, every person has friends, work, hobbies, health, rest, personal development, dreams, and achievements. Do you have all the spheres of life developed equally?

If not, then find out what you can do and start doing it right now. Leave your relationship alone. Give her some respite and the relationship alone will develop in the right direction.

Set your limits

I have written about this repeatedly (you will find an article in this regard here). Setting boundaries is extremely important. First, determine what is acceptable to you and what is not. Then learn to defend your borders. Don't allow yourself to be offended, humiliated, and hurt. Learn to say "NO". You don't break the boundaries of others either.

Learn to enjoy your privacy

If you often say "I'm bored", you probably avoid being left alone with yourself. You can hardly stand loneliness and you are ready for anything just to avoid these moments.

Learn to spend time with yourself. Start reading, drawing, playing a musical instrument - take care of your hobby. Everyone is left alone with himself, but everyone chooses what loneliness or freedom is.

Learn to overcome misunderstandings as a couple

In a relationship, it is natural to argue, contradict, and disagree with each other. Conflicts should not be avoided in any way, they should not accumulate reluctance and should not be silenced to the detriment of your mental health. This does not lead to good.

Instead, learn to overcome the couple's misunderstandings constructively, to communicate according to the "I-message" principle - talk more about your feelings than about your partner's mistakes. Don't let the thought get in the way of your relationship, since someone is unhappy. If absolutely everything works out for both partners, that's not good.

Never give up on yourself and your principles

Never go against you. You don't have to betray your visions to keep the peace with another person. You are the only and most important person with whom you must learn to live in peace.

Only through a caring attitude toward yourself (not to be confused with selfishness, when "everything is just for me"), can personal boundaries be set, and learning to interact healthily with life and others can be learned.

Sometimes it is difficult to understand if you are in a healthy relationship and if what is happening is good. However, if such questions arise, you can always call on the services of a psychologist. At the first consultation, you will receive answers to your questions.