10 recipes for guaranteed unhappiness

I have learned in recent years that there are hardly any accidental encounters and there are no moments, no matter how trivial they seem, in which I cannot find inspiration or a valuable lesson. Today we had such a meeting and such a moment. One of the participants in the course, with whom I discovered that I share not only concerns, but also mutual friends, told me at lunch about Luminita, the author of the well-known blog Purpose Fairy, a cool place where I often find articles that make me think. We ended up talking about one of the articles on this blog – the "15 things you should give up in order to be happy", which I had not read (yet), but whose message is in perfect resonance with a thought that has been dragging me these days – How come we keep getting lost on our way to happiness, instead it seems that many of us are masters at being unhappy?

After this discussion and after reading the article myself, I realized that I have no idea if there is any recipe for happiness, but I could easily make a list of recipes for unhappiness. It is increasingly clear to me, in my work with people, that fulfillment, reconciliation, inner joy are achieved in countless ways, that there is a huge range of approaches and strategies. I know what brings me happiness, but I could never recommend this as a generally valid formula. I've been to a lot of courses, I've read countless books – scientific, psychology or spirituality – from each one I've taken something. I help people experiment with happiness every day, I can make suggestions, I offer perspectives, but I can't tell someone what they need to do to be happy. All the way I gained a lot of knowledge about happiness, but too few certainties.

Today I realized, as a revelation, that on the journey to happiness I came across instead some (I might call them) certainties related to unhappiness. I have met and know so many unhappy people daily that I dare to say that I already know quite clearly what are the most effective ways to make you completely, deeply (I hope not irretrievably) unhappy. I'm going to share them with you just because, knowing about them, you might make your path to your own fulfillment easier.

Not to mention, here they are:

1. Feel yourself a victim!

It's one of the fastest and most effective ways to be unhappy. It has a fast and long-lasting effect. How can you do that? Simple. When things don't go the way you want to, blame others, the economy, relatives, the boss, the company, society, politicians and everything else that crosses your mind. Use your imagination to create entire conspiracy theories, lists of excuses and justifications, and very importantly, develop and cultivate your persecution mania! Take everything personally permanently and be sure to cry for mercy and tell everyone how hard your life is and how they follow you, all the mishaps of the earth, just yourself. Then you have to pose as a martyr and if somehow someone of good faith tries to help you, lest you accept the help and use it constructively!

2. Be angry, that you have why!

Always be on a war footing with everyone and everything. Be animated by a huge rage that you anger at any opportunity, no matter how small – the supermarket saleswoman who was not kind enough, a traffic driver who cut off your path, your children who dared to get out of your word, your life partner who did not take the garbage or forgot to take bread. Get annoyed every day, as many times as you can. Of everything. Be careful when you get home to put on your family the anger accumulated at the office and, very importantly, to then pretend that you are stressed and your loved ones do not understand you (you get bonus points if you also victimize yourself a bit and reproach them for not appreciating all the sacrifices you make for them).

3. Control everything, all the time!

Be careful not to miss anything! Feel compelled to check everything that happens at the office, and at home always be on the lookout lest someone get out of your word. Be convinced that you always know best how things should be done, always decide what is right for others and nagging them until they do like you. Give your opinion and do not forget to say: "You do as you want but do not say after that that I did not tell you". And, of course, do not miss any opportunity to say, if possible in a higher tone: "I told you I did!".

4. Do everything perfectly all the time!

Be careful not to miss anything! Pay attention to every detail, look for the knot in the rush and necessarily be eternally dissatisfied. Always pretending that everything is aligned – from the tassels to the carpet and the folds to the curtains to the comma, point and bullet point. If, God forbid, things are going well, be careful to say: "It was normal, but it can be more!" and not to stop for a second to enjoy yourself for a second. Take care to do this with yourself, but also with others, especially with those you love the most. Bonus if you instill this in your children too, if you put pressure on them and you don't forget to constantly remind them that they haven't done enough!

5. Please everyone!

It's very important that this becomes your primary concern in life. Choose your studies and career after it's fashionable and you are told that it will make you a valued man, always pay attention to what the neighbors say, remember that the mouth of the world could swallow you completely if somehow you step crookedly, so be sure to always stand in line. Don't say NO, be nice to everyone and be sure to tell everyone what they want to hear and keep your opinions that might just bother you. Don't ask, wait for your thoughts to be guessed and given what you need (possibly victimize yourself if you don't get it).

6. Be convinced that life is a jungle where only lions succeed!

He is constantly living in a competition with everyone. Make sure you have the most slick phone and the coolest car and brag about your achievements whenever you have the opportunity. If someone somehow stands in your way, remember the wise Machiavelli who taught us that the end justifies the means – dust them and powder them and move on in your way. Be cynical, critical and relentless when it comes to having something to gain. Don't ever help someone or make some disinterested gesture – there are no such sensibilities in the jungle. Make sure you're always a champion, first in everything – in the office, but also in poker with friends – it really doesn't matter.

7. Be busy!

Rest from work through another work! That's your motto! Any moment off is a lost moment. Send emails at 2 at night and necessarily take your phone and laptop with you everywhere – the holiday is for the lazy – powerful people sit on the beach with their blackberry and work. At the office, run from meeting to meeting, talk on the phone while you make a report and exchange two more words with a colleague who for 10 minutes is still trying to ask you something. Be proud of your almost over-human capabilities for multi-tasking.

8. Be forever dissatisfied

Whatever happens, be careful not to suit you. Always, he always finds something to criticize. Be a Sherlock Holmes of problems-and if you can't find them, invent them! Be scratched with praises and as generous as possible! Criticize your husband or wife, children (who only kiss in sleep), colleagues and, when you take a break from this, look at the news as a safe source of dissatisfaction. Be convinced that they all go stupid and go to the rap, that everyone except you are useless and incompetent. Sprinkle any new idea and tell everyone why they won't go. Be careful to criticize with art, as a superior being who has the gift of showing others who cannot and will never be able to do.

9. He didn't trust anyone!

If you roast with soup, blow in yogurt. Blow in yogurt even if you did not roast with soup, just so, to be sure. Be convinced that confidence is not given, won, and pass everyone around the caudine forks of your suspicion, before you decide, with greatness, to give them some confidence. And even then, always be on alert, ready to take your back drop and tell you "I knew it wasn't worth it!" to the slightest alert sign. Be vigilant especially when someone behaves beautifully with you or something good happens to you! Tell yourself, "What is watching, why is it so cute?" And "it's too nice to be true!" Be convinced that life is a long series of disappointments and tell yourself that there is no point in making your illusions and that pessimism (which you, of course, will call "realism") is the best shield in the path suffering. Hold your heart with 1000 locks and don't let someone in! That's how you will be safe!

10. Always wait for everything that is worse!

To be convinced that the good, if it ever comes, is obtained with blood and sweat and certainly does not last. After the good the evil comes and you have to be prepared. Never allow you to live the joy of the present, because this might weaken your vigilance and you may not see the catastrophe when it comes. And surely it will come! Fear of current, illness, accident, competition, plane, water, too cold and too hot, E's and other dangerous letters, fear of any new experience and do not bend-Drob Salt will fall! Be convinced that the known evil is always preferable to the unknown and be careful not to change something or experience something new! Always be with your feet on the ground and keep your dreams where they are in you!

Do any of the ones listed above, if you can do them all! That is how you will be absolutely sure that you will be unhappy!

Disclaimer: And nothing would enjoy me more than to choose to learn something of your own unhappiness and the performance of the long-standing long-racing between us. This is how you could avoid these traps in your own life and you would give yourself a real chance at much coveted happiness.